Desert....Dessert
Fast....Feast
Only a single letter makes them completely different words...opposites if you will.
To fast, to go without food. To feast, to openly engorge in it.
Desert a barren waste land....rich of nothing. Dessert an oppulent treat at the end of a meal....extra.
You know I like to think of dessert as extra because a dessert isn't necessary. Dinner yes. Food to sustain me, yes. Dessert, an indulgence!
But how strange, how curious that the two are just one letter away. Desert is one 's' away from richness. Barren and desolate....but if I just had one more 's' I could be something else all together!
I started thinking about these words in my Esther class. When Beth Moore asks us students if anyone had noticed the contrasts between feasting and fasting. In the first part of this book of the bible, everyone is feasting. And even the day that the King's edict is sent out is a day of feasts for the Jews. The exact day this doctrine goes out, is the Jewish day of Passover. The largest and most celebrated holiday in their community....a day of feasting. On that day, Esther asks that all the Jews of Susa gather and fast for 3 days and 3 nights. On this day of feasts, she asks them to fast. I wonder how many Jews were thinking, "We were supposed to be feasting, not fasting!" Wow. They were just one letter away!
You have to really wonder. You have to wonder how many times we see our lives as just one second away from greatness...or one swing away from champions...or one chromosone away from perfection. And we mull it over. Over and over....."What could have been!?!"
But here is my question for you......Why isn't the reality we are given perfection?
Why do you think that these lessons in perceived failure aren't your perfect life?
We are each given a life of imperfection. That is a known going into the world. Hang-up your thoughts of Prince Charming and Cinderella....they do not exist. We are all imperfect. Beautifully! I bet there is not even one of us who would disagree. But, how much do you really allow yourself to believe? Or better yet, how often do you thank God for the desert and not the dessert?
Isn't a dessert extra anyway?
Just some thoughts....hope those of us out there yearning for that 's' might start realizing that deserts are a gift too. Happy Thursday!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Grant
Grant has a recent obsession....Well, maybe obsession is not the right word....serious interest, is probably better. Grant has a serious interest in BOOBS, lately.
His boobs, your boobs, his brothers' boobs, his dad's boobs, my bras, everything about boobs is just fascinating to him!
Several weeks ago, we were at the pool with some friends. I was in line for a snow cone with Grant and our friend's little girl. Grant turns around and says, "See my boobies?!" to the little girl with us.
She looks at him like, "Super...yeah, I see them, super great....where's my snow cone?!"
When she doesn't respond, he gets even closer to her and while pushing in his nipples with the index finger of each hand he says, "See um? See my bobbies???"
He does this three times! I say to him on the second, "Grant, yes, we see your boobies...quit it!!"
Third time comes....."See my boobies? You see um?"
The little girl, you can see, is thinking, He is not going to leave me alone about these boobies until I acknowledge him. So, she says, "Yeah...I see um."
Grant grins from ear to ear, like, "Yeah, that's right! I have boobies!!!"
In the middle of the night two nights ago, Grant wakes up and is making a HUGE fuss! And as we all know, Grant was not given the quiet gene. He is dialed into only Loud and LOUDER!!!
So, because I wish to get some rest out of this evening, I scoot little loud-mouth from his room where we leave a still sleeping, Thank God, Wyatt to rest peacefully.
I take Grant into our bed and we go back to sleep. In the morning he wakes up, and dashes from my bed......only to run down the hall and scream, "WYATT!!! You 'WAKE?!?!"
"MOMMMM! WYATT WAKE UP!! HE WAKED UP!!!"
He sure did! Couldn't have anything to do with all the yelling, could it?!
I gather up Wyatt and scootch them both into the kitchen where I set them at the table and fix their cereal. Yes that's right, scootch, I'm sure it's a word, I use it all the time! Thus, it's a word! After I get them settled, I jump into the shower, jump out of the shower, run down the hallway, dress for the day like I was in a race, and within 10 minutes from my kitchen departure, I'm back.
Entering the kitchen Grant gives me a very perplexed look.
"Momma.....You got your boobies?"
"Yes, honey...yes, I have my boobies."
"Momma. No, I go get your boobies!"
Me not understanding.... "What? Honey, what? Yes, of course I already have my boobies...right here, can't take 'em off." Though, at times I realize it looks as if they aren't there because they are slowly disappearing off of my body....I swear I DID have boobs at one time...I did! Promise!
Grant just looks at me and says, "No, I go get your boobies!"
With that, he runs into our bedroom and over to my side of the bed. I find him there desperately searching for something.
That's when I realize I had taken my bra off and laid it on the chair next to my bed the night before. Grant must've noticed it there when he got out of our bed this morning before running down the hallway bellerin' for Wyatt.
I say to him, "Oh, honey....were you looking for Mommy's bra? Mommy has it on already."
"No you don't!"
"Yes, yes I do!"
"No you not! It was right here!"
You know what's coming next, right?! I have to convince him that I have it, right?! So, I lift my shirt up to show him that I do indeed have the bra on.
As he sees it on me, you see the tension noticeably melt from his shoulders.
"Ahhh, there's your boobies! Right there!"
Now, this morning, Grant wakes up from his bed and is standing in the hallway, "Momma! I wake up!!!!! MOMMA!!!!"
"Okay, Grant, Okay, here I come....hush baby! Hush, you're going to wake up Wyatt!'
Now, after I get him settled in to watch Batman....I jump in the shower. 'Nother quick one, because just like I can't trust he and his brother at the kitchen table by themselves, I also cannot trust Grant up in the living room by himself. It's quite normal to be in the shower for all of 2 minutes when you hear the slamming of the bathroom door opening and a little boy yelling, "Momma! Wyatt just WAKE UP!" And in the background Wyatt's wailing away! Why?! ....hmm.... I wonder....Oh, probably because his brother went in their room and scared the dickens out of him by yelling, "WAKE UP WYATT!!!!"
But, this morning, all was well, no screaming baby and no screaming Grant...Grant was just amusing himself in the recliner by putting his feet where his head should be while rocking in the chair...big shock, I know, Grant rocking!!
Anyway, just as soon as he sees me he says, "You got your boobies?"
"Yes honey, I got 'em"
"Momma, I got no shirt...you see my bobbies? My boobies right here!" as he points to his chest.
"Yep! I see um!"
"Momma! I go get your boobies!!"
And, off he darts down the hallway, around to my side of the bed, and sure enough, there is my bra sitting on the chair (I guess I'm a creature of habit). He hands me my bra, and says, "Momma, put on your boobies!"
This might not seem like a big deal, but I'm just from the shower...and I'm not the most comfortable in my own skin!!! Clothing...I'm comfortable in CLOTHING! But, I feel like, okay, he is 2 and he has no understanding of sexuality or anything at this point, so, geesh, put the bra on Carrie!
I oblige him and put the bra on.
He just smiles so satisfactorily and says, "Now Momma, you wear your boobies all day!"
"Okay honey...Mommy will!"
To which he then runs off down the hall holding his own boobies in opposing hands.
What am I gonna do with this boy?!?!?
His boobs, your boobs, his brothers' boobs, his dad's boobs, my bras, everything about boobs is just fascinating to him!
Several weeks ago, we were at the pool with some friends. I was in line for a snow cone with Grant and our friend's little girl. Grant turns around and says, "See my boobies?!" to the little girl with us.
She looks at him like, "Super...yeah, I see them, super great....where's my snow cone?!"
When she doesn't respond, he gets even closer to her and while pushing in his nipples with the index finger of each hand he says, "See um? See my bobbies???"
He does this three times! I say to him on the second, "Grant, yes, we see your boobies...quit it!!"
Third time comes....."See my boobies? You see um?"
The little girl, you can see, is thinking, He is not going to leave me alone about these boobies until I acknowledge him. So, she says, "Yeah...I see um."
Grant grins from ear to ear, like, "Yeah, that's right! I have boobies!!!"
In the middle of the night two nights ago, Grant wakes up and is making a HUGE fuss! And as we all know, Grant was not given the quiet gene. He is dialed into only Loud and LOUDER!!!
So, because I wish to get some rest out of this evening, I scoot little loud-mouth from his room where we leave a still sleeping, Thank God, Wyatt to rest peacefully.
I take Grant into our bed and we go back to sleep. In the morning he wakes up, and dashes from my bed......only to run down the hall and scream, "WYATT!!! You 'WAKE?!?!"
"MOMMMM! WYATT WAKE UP!! HE WAKED UP!!!"
He sure did! Couldn't have anything to do with all the yelling, could it?!
I gather up Wyatt and scootch them both into the kitchen where I set them at the table and fix their cereal. Yes that's right, scootch, I'm sure it's a word, I use it all the time! Thus, it's a word! After I get them settled, I jump into the shower, jump out of the shower, run down the hallway, dress for the day like I was in a race, and within 10 minutes from my kitchen departure, I'm back.
Entering the kitchen Grant gives me a very perplexed look.
"Momma.....You got your boobies?"
"Yes, honey...yes, I have my boobies."
"Momma. No, I go get your boobies!"
Me not understanding.... "What? Honey, what? Yes, of course I already have my boobies...right here, can't take 'em off." Though, at times I realize it looks as if they aren't there because they are slowly disappearing off of my body....I swear I DID have boobs at one time...I did! Promise!
Grant just looks at me and says, "No, I go get your boobies!"
With that, he runs into our bedroom and over to my side of the bed. I find him there desperately searching for something.
That's when I realize I had taken my bra off and laid it on the chair next to my bed the night before. Grant must've noticed it there when he got out of our bed this morning before running down the hallway bellerin' for Wyatt.
I say to him, "Oh, honey....were you looking for Mommy's bra? Mommy has it on already."
"No you don't!"
"Yes, yes I do!"
"No you not! It was right here!"
You know what's coming next, right?! I have to convince him that I have it, right?! So, I lift my shirt up to show him that I do indeed have the bra on.
As he sees it on me, you see the tension noticeably melt from his shoulders.
"Ahhh, there's your boobies! Right there!"
Now, this morning, Grant wakes up from his bed and is standing in the hallway, "Momma! I wake up!!!!! MOMMA!!!!"
"Okay, Grant, Okay, here I come....hush baby! Hush, you're going to wake up Wyatt!'
Now, after I get him settled in to watch Batman....I jump in the shower. 'Nother quick one, because just like I can't trust he and his brother at the kitchen table by themselves, I also cannot trust Grant up in the living room by himself. It's quite normal to be in the shower for all of 2 minutes when you hear the slamming of the bathroom door opening and a little boy yelling, "Momma! Wyatt just WAKE UP!" And in the background Wyatt's wailing away! Why?! ....hmm.... I wonder....Oh, probably because his brother went in their room and scared the dickens out of him by yelling, "WAKE UP WYATT!!!!"
But, this morning, all was well, no screaming baby and no screaming Grant...Grant was just amusing himself in the recliner by putting his feet where his head should be while rocking in the chair...big shock, I know, Grant rocking!!
Anyway, just as soon as he sees me he says, "You got your boobies?"
"Yes honey, I got 'em"
"Momma, I got no shirt...you see my bobbies? My boobies right here!" as he points to his chest.
"Yep! I see um!"
"Momma! I go get your boobies!!"
And, off he darts down the hallway, around to my side of the bed, and sure enough, there is my bra sitting on the chair (I guess I'm a creature of habit). He hands me my bra, and says, "Momma, put on your boobies!"
This might not seem like a big deal, but I'm just from the shower...and I'm not the most comfortable in my own skin!!! Clothing...I'm comfortable in CLOTHING! But, I feel like, okay, he is 2 and he has no understanding of sexuality or anything at this point, so, geesh, put the bra on Carrie!
I oblige him and put the bra on.
He just smiles so satisfactorily and says, "Now Momma, you wear your boobies all day!"
"Okay honey...Mommy will!"
To which he then runs off down the hall holding his own boobies in opposing hands.
What am I gonna do with this boy?!?!?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
On This Day In History
On this day in History:
1934: The NFL's Portsmouth Spartans become the Detroit Lions
1936: The 40-hour work week law is approved
1955: "Johnny Carson Show" debuts on CBS
1971: Ohio becomes 38th state to approve the lowered voting age of 18, thus ratifying the 26th amendment
1975: Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Heavyweight boxer Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Bugner in a 15 round unanimous decision fight (marking Ali's 48th career win)
And, most importantly, but with less significance in your look-up of "History Making Dates" a little boy is born to anxious and gleefully awaiting parents. He's over 9 lbs and healthy as an Ox! He comes into the world without the knowledge of his future, but he already has purpose. In his first few hours of life, love takes root in a way no other bond can as he suckles from the breast of his mother while the worries of Mother and Father are laid to rest as they see now that their prayers have been answered.
This baby will grow into a young lad filled with dreams and beliefs of things we know as adults to be impossible, but in our pre-school years seem totally and utterly within reach.
He will meet and exceed the expectations of his parents as God keeps blessing them year after year with the exuberant life that breathes from this boy.
His growing-up will bring him many places.....but the one I'm so selfishly grateful for is into the town of Jonesboro, Arkansas. Where he'll meet the girl whom he'll spend the rest of his life with.
Upon their meeting, she will remember thinking, "Is there more to this than chance?"
By far there is more to their meeting than chance. And, God will unite this boy and girl in matrimony, gracing their union with the birth of three marvelous little boys.
This boy is now a man, this day 33. Bringing joy, still, to the man and woman whose lives together as parents began at his birth. Bringing laughs, and smiles of appreciation, still, from a sister who has always looked up to her big brother. And, still, forming upward turned creases in the lips of his little men as he simply walks into the room.
Another year is here. Another anniversary of your birth. And you're STILL my comfort, my love, and my rock. I love you so much! Happy Birthday!
1934: The NFL's Portsmouth Spartans become the Detroit Lions
1936: The 40-hour work week law is approved
1955: "Johnny Carson Show" debuts on CBS
1971: Ohio becomes 38th state to approve the lowered voting age of 18, thus ratifying the 26th amendment
1975: Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Heavyweight boxer Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Bugner in a 15 round unanimous decision fight (marking Ali's 48th career win)
And, most importantly, but with less significance in your look-up of "History Making Dates" a little boy is born to anxious and gleefully awaiting parents. He's over 9 lbs and healthy as an Ox! He comes into the world without the knowledge of his future, but he already has purpose. In his first few hours of life, love takes root in a way no other bond can as he suckles from the breast of his mother while the worries of Mother and Father are laid to rest as they see now that their prayers have been answered.
This baby will grow into a young lad filled with dreams and beliefs of things we know as adults to be impossible, but in our pre-school years seem totally and utterly within reach.
He will meet and exceed the expectations of his parents as God keeps blessing them year after year with the exuberant life that breathes from this boy.
His growing-up will bring him many places.....but the one I'm so selfishly grateful for is into the town of Jonesboro, Arkansas. Where he'll meet the girl whom he'll spend the rest of his life with.
Upon their meeting, she will remember thinking, "Is there more to this than chance?"
By far there is more to their meeting than chance. And, God will unite this boy and girl in matrimony, gracing their union with the birth of three marvelous little boys.
This boy is now a man, this day 33. Bringing joy, still, to the man and woman whose lives together as parents began at his birth. Bringing laughs, and smiles of appreciation, still, from a sister who has always looked up to her big brother. And, still, forming upward turned creases in the lips of his little men as he simply walks into the room.
Another year is here. Another anniversary of your birth. And you're STILL my comfort, my love, and my rock. I love you so much! Happy Birthday!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Behavior: Hard-ly My Fault, Right?
People are always asking me if it is hard to work a full-time job, raise three kids, be a wife, and a maid, and a short-order cook, and a party planner, and a, and a, and, and, and......
I have always looked at the person saying this and said, "Yes, it is hard....so hard, but I love my family and I will do what I need to do to make it all work." Now, let me add, what I don't say, "But not without complaining about it!"
I decided just the other day that I am going to change my vocabulary. I am going to take the word H-A-R-D out of my language not going to let it live in my head anymore. Nope...changing the word to C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-I-N-G. Because hard makes it sound like I am unhappy with my "work", or it can imply that I expect pity, because "Oh, it's just so hard!"
When Griffin and I are working on his words and letters and all the nerdy sort of booky-things I love and he hates, the one thing he will tell me over and over is "This is too hard!"
Dan and I were at Sonic a few days ago when he pointed something out to me. I was sitting there watching these Car Hops roller skating all around and it was scaring me! I said to Dan, "This girl is freaking me out on these skates. She could get hit by a car so easily!"
Dan laughed and said, "If it weren't you sitting next to me, I would have sworn it was Griffin who just said that."
"Oh, I just sounded like Griffin huh....hmm, yeah I guess I did."
But, the truth is....He sounds like ME!
So, where does he get this, "It's too hard...I can't.....I never get to do what I want!" Where...hmm.....ME! The light bulb went off and I saw that anti-drug PSA from years back where the kid says, "I learned it by watching you!"
What I am putting-out....it's coming back to me. And here's something I know to be true, and something for which I have really been working on. When I am around people who are being negative, I will try very hard to stay on the high-ground, but, before I know it, I'm down in the muck, wallowing around with them. I'm reflecting their emotions. I'm emulating them.
It's like this....someone, maybe your husband, is upset with you. He says something like this, "Yeah, you know, you complain about cleaning but you aren't doing it every day. Just look around. Doesn't seem like you are keeping up very well." Okay.....most of us would launch into a tirade of, "Oh, yeah, you think it looks bad NOW....I can get it looking even worse. Want me to stop trying all together. Oh, and by the way, what are YOU doing to keep up around here?" etc, etc, etc.
Yipes! Talk about emulating! So, what if we did this instead, "I'm sorry. I suppose that complaining can get pretty old. Next time I am complaining, could we try this....put your hands on my shoulders, look me in the eyes and reassure me that Rome wasn't built in a day. Then, if you would, this will sound weird, but could you give me a compliment? You see, I'm trying really hard to turn off those negative, "This is too HARD!", voices and when I'm getting into that mode, I really think a compliment would help."
Wouldn't that take this obvious "fight" situation to a different place? Instead of you or I putting our gloves up in the air and readying ourselves for 12 rounds, we are taking the gloves off and giving our "opponent" a hug....a big bear hug! Saying, "I am so sorry you are frustrated....I get that way too....Let me help you"
That's what I need to do. My boys are the eyes and ears of what I am putting out into the world. And though they can be the sweetest, kindest, most loving children at times.....They can also be self-defeators, know-it-alls, and nothing-nice-to-sayers.
Gotta look in the mirror and see myself as the root of those too. Yeah, that's a hard image to see looking back, but it's mine. I'm the one who modeled that behavior, therefore "they learned it by watching me!"
I'm moving Hard into the storage closest. In it's place Challenging. I am taking the positive traits, what I see in myself, what I see in my kids, I am taking those positive characteristics and I'm amplifying them. No more, self-defeating, no more know-it-all (this will be difficult, I DO know a lot, but better to say, "I thought...", instead of "You said...." sounds so much nicer, huh?), and no more complaining! Letting words escape my mouth that will have a negative impact on what I want my kids to learn only makes parenting that much more CHALLENGING! See, I'm working on it!!!
I have always looked at the person saying this and said, "Yes, it is hard....so hard, but I love my family and I will do what I need to do to make it all work." Now, let me add, what I don't say, "But not without complaining about it!"
I decided just the other day that I am going to change my vocabulary. I am going to take the word H-A-R-D out of my language not going to let it live in my head anymore. Nope...changing the word to C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-I-N-G. Because hard makes it sound like I am unhappy with my "work", or it can imply that I expect pity, because "Oh, it's just so hard!"
When Griffin and I are working on his words and letters and all the nerdy sort of booky-things I love and he hates, the one thing he will tell me over and over is "This is too hard!"
Dan and I were at Sonic a few days ago when he pointed something out to me. I was sitting there watching these Car Hops roller skating all around and it was scaring me! I said to Dan, "This girl is freaking me out on these skates. She could get hit by a car so easily!"
Dan laughed and said, "If it weren't you sitting next to me, I would have sworn it was Griffin who just said that."
"Oh, I just sounded like Griffin huh....hmm, yeah I guess I did."
But, the truth is....He sounds like ME!
So, where does he get this, "It's too hard...I can't.....I never get to do what I want!" Where...hmm.....ME! The light bulb went off and I saw that anti-drug PSA from years back where the kid says, "I learned it by watching you!"
What I am putting-out....it's coming back to me. And here's something I know to be true, and something for which I have really been working on. When I am around people who are being negative, I will try very hard to stay on the high-ground, but, before I know it, I'm down in the muck, wallowing around with them. I'm reflecting their emotions. I'm emulating them.
It's like this....someone, maybe your husband, is upset with you. He says something like this, "Yeah, you know, you complain about cleaning but you aren't doing it every day. Just look around. Doesn't seem like you are keeping up very well." Okay.....most of us would launch into a tirade of, "Oh, yeah, you think it looks bad NOW....I can get it looking even worse. Want me to stop trying all together. Oh, and by the way, what are YOU doing to keep up around here?" etc, etc, etc.
Yipes! Talk about emulating! So, what if we did this instead, "I'm sorry. I suppose that complaining can get pretty old. Next time I am complaining, could we try this....put your hands on my shoulders, look me in the eyes and reassure me that Rome wasn't built in a day. Then, if you would, this will sound weird, but could you give me a compliment? You see, I'm trying really hard to turn off those negative, "This is too HARD!", voices and when I'm getting into that mode, I really think a compliment would help."
Wouldn't that take this obvious "fight" situation to a different place? Instead of you or I putting our gloves up in the air and readying ourselves for 12 rounds, we are taking the gloves off and giving our "opponent" a hug....a big bear hug! Saying, "I am so sorry you are frustrated....I get that way too....Let me help you"
That's what I need to do. My boys are the eyes and ears of what I am putting out into the world. And though they can be the sweetest, kindest, most loving children at times.....They can also be self-defeators, know-it-alls, and nothing-nice-to-sayers.
Gotta look in the mirror and see myself as the root of those too. Yeah, that's a hard image to see looking back, but it's mine. I'm the one who modeled that behavior, therefore "they learned it by watching me!"
I'm moving Hard into the storage closest. In it's place Challenging. I am taking the positive traits, what I see in myself, what I see in my kids, I am taking those positive characteristics and I'm amplifying them. No more, self-defeating, no more know-it-all (this will be difficult, I DO know a lot, but better to say, "I thought...", instead of "You said...." sounds so much nicer, huh?), and no more complaining! Letting words escape my mouth that will have a negative impact on what I want my kids to learn only makes parenting that much more CHALLENGING! See, I'm working on it!!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Friends
Friends....do you ever wonder how you became friends with someone...who initiated the contact, why you were "attracted" to this individual or was it just through circumstances that a friendship ensued.
Friends are so much different than family. As the saying goes, "You can't choose family". Which doesn't mean you can't be friends with your family members. In fact, two of my closest girlfriends are my cousins. Thick and thin, we've been through it all, and I would not be the same person without them. Love you Cori and Molly!
I was reminded of how great it is to have "old friends" when my sister in law posted on her Facebook status that she had just gone to dinner with one of her oldest and dearest friends. It got me thinking. Old friends are such a treasure. Someone who has shared the stories of your life...the good, the bad...the ugly (me from about age 9 to maybe 17...Can we say HUMONGOUS glasses, TINY nose!) Now, as I sit back and look at old pictures, I laugh. I'm no longer that self-esteem lacking, attention craving, talks a mile a minute (okay maybe I still have a touch of this one) girl. But, weren't we all something we're not, today? I mean, we can't be the Varsity Football Team Captain forever. Our lives evolve. Some friendships last and others fade away. New friendships develop and some dissolve. Sometimes friendships even renew!
But one thing that is constant is our need for friends. Our need to find and align ourselves with people we "see ourselves" in. How lucky I feel to have cast out my seeds only to have, now, a garden full of friends. Blessed and Graced I am.
To me the most interesting of all these types of friendships is new friends. New friends are an end result of all the years of work and support you have had from your "old friends" and family. Whom you end up aligning yourself with in the "now" is a direct result of whom you aligned yourself with previously.
I had a friend tell me one time, this was a friend of many years, a best friend, that she could no longer be my friend. She was battling a lot of things, but the biggest was her propensity for following and getting herself into trouble and vowing her loyalty to the wrong kind of people. These "friends" she had made while I had moved away were dragging her down into the gutter and because of her need for approval, she loyally followed them. The counselor she was seeing told her she needed to set her friendship standards higher and start finding friends she wished she could be more like, not friends she thought she was like. Obviously, this advice did not take into account the possibility of my friend having one friend who wasn't a bad influence. But, I get it. And that WAS excellent advice.
Sometimes your life needs a shake up! Turn it on it's head and say, "I'm not willing to do this any more! I deserve better!"
I still mourn the loss of that friendship...but what I don't think I realized til now, was that in losing that friend, I had to move-on and grow myself...in ways I might not have had we continued in our friendship.
That loss forced me to really go out and try to connect with others. I, too, needed to find friends I wanted to be like, and maybe stop trying to find people I already thought I was like. I had a lifelong friendship vanish....but my life wasn't over.
I guess I did exactly what she did...I started anew. And it has been good for me, GREAT for me actually! I still have friendships from the past, those will stay near and dear to my heart for as long as blood pumps through my veins. But, now I know that I can venture out of my comfort zone and into new realms, realms that I previously felt I was unworthy of entering. "I'm not that kind of person", "I'm really not knowledgeable enough to join that group", "I'm soooo not what they REALLY want in a member", etc.
Now, now, I see that I am. We all are. Friendships start with a warm smile and a heart-felt "Hello!" With giving and expecting nothing in return....with sharing and accepting that your story is a part of who you are and what amazing lives we have all lived! New friends are a product of all those old relationships, good and bad. New friends are abundant, you just have to accept that you deserve them and the doors will open!
Friends are so much different than family. As the saying goes, "You can't choose family". Which doesn't mean you can't be friends with your family members. In fact, two of my closest girlfriends are my cousins. Thick and thin, we've been through it all, and I would not be the same person without them. Love you Cori and Molly!
I was reminded of how great it is to have "old friends" when my sister in law posted on her Facebook status that she had just gone to dinner with one of her oldest and dearest friends. It got me thinking. Old friends are such a treasure. Someone who has shared the stories of your life...the good, the bad...the ugly (me from about age 9 to maybe 17...Can we say HUMONGOUS glasses, TINY nose!) Now, as I sit back and look at old pictures, I laugh. I'm no longer that self-esteem lacking, attention craving, talks a mile a minute (okay maybe I still have a touch of this one) girl. But, weren't we all something we're not, today? I mean, we can't be the Varsity Football Team Captain forever. Our lives evolve. Some friendships last and others fade away. New friendships develop and some dissolve. Sometimes friendships even renew!
But one thing that is constant is our need for friends. Our need to find and align ourselves with people we "see ourselves" in. How lucky I feel to have cast out my seeds only to have, now, a garden full of friends. Blessed and Graced I am.
To me the most interesting of all these types of friendships is new friends. New friends are an end result of all the years of work and support you have had from your "old friends" and family. Whom you end up aligning yourself with in the "now" is a direct result of whom you aligned yourself with previously.
I had a friend tell me one time, this was a friend of many years, a best friend, that she could no longer be my friend. She was battling a lot of things, but the biggest was her propensity for following and getting herself into trouble and vowing her loyalty to the wrong kind of people. These "friends" she had made while I had moved away were dragging her down into the gutter and because of her need for approval, she loyally followed them. The counselor she was seeing told her she needed to set her friendship standards higher and start finding friends she wished she could be more like, not friends she thought she was like. Obviously, this advice did not take into account the possibility of my friend having one friend who wasn't a bad influence. But, I get it. And that WAS excellent advice.
Sometimes your life needs a shake up! Turn it on it's head and say, "I'm not willing to do this any more! I deserve better!"
I still mourn the loss of that friendship...but what I don't think I realized til now, was that in losing that friend, I had to move-on and grow myself...in ways I might not have had we continued in our friendship.
That loss forced me to really go out and try to connect with others. I, too, needed to find friends I wanted to be like, and maybe stop trying to find people I already thought I was like. I had a lifelong friendship vanish....but my life wasn't over.
I guess I did exactly what she did...I started anew. And it has been good for me, GREAT for me actually! I still have friendships from the past, those will stay near and dear to my heart for as long as blood pumps through my veins. But, now I know that I can venture out of my comfort zone and into new realms, realms that I previously felt I was unworthy of entering. "I'm not that kind of person", "I'm really not knowledgeable enough to join that group", "I'm soooo not what they REALLY want in a member", etc.
Now, now, I see that I am. We all are. Friendships start with a warm smile and a heart-felt "Hello!" With giving and expecting nothing in return....with sharing and accepting that your story is a part of who you are and what amazing lives we have all lived! New friends are a product of all those old relationships, good and bad. New friends are abundant, you just have to accept that you deserve them and the doors will open!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Wyatt's In LOVE!
Edit: Finally, I have good pictures of the S'mores love-a-thon...please scroll through and check him out!
You just have to see these blurry camera-phone pictures of Wyatt. I wish they had turned out better, but, oh well, they still convey the HILARITY of my littlest boy...Wyatt will just absolutely crack you up! He has to be one of the funniest little characters I know!
'Course, he does have two older brothers who have been known to be comedians as well!
Here's the situation:
We went over to a friend's house. I remembered I had bought the items needed to make S'mores and decided the kids would enjoy that. Even though we were not having a bonfire to roast the marshmallows on (and that really IS why S'mores are fun) I figured we could do them in the microwave and the kids would enjoy that too.......
Well, one of the little ones left their S'mores plate within reach of lil' ol' Wyatt and let's just say he was in LOVE!!!
Here are some photos of the love-fest:
You just have to see these blurry camera-phone pictures of Wyatt. I wish they had turned out better, but, oh well, they still convey the HILARITY of my littlest boy...Wyatt will just absolutely crack you up! He has to be one of the funniest little characters I know!
'Course, he does have two older brothers who have been known to be comedians as well!
Here's the situation:
We went over to a friend's house. I remembered I had bought the items needed to make S'mores and decided the kids would enjoy that. Even though we were not having a bonfire to roast the marshmallows on (and that really IS why S'mores are fun) I figured we could do them in the microwave and the kids would enjoy that too.......
Well, one of the little ones left their S'mores plate within reach of lil' ol' Wyatt and let's just say he was in LOVE!!!
Here are some photos of the love-fest:
Oh, Mi Amor, How I love you! Je T'adore... mmwah, mmwah, mmwah
I just can't keep my hands off!
Or, my face! Something tells me this will be a relationship that lasts....at least until my Momma hoses me down and bathes me in Goo Be Gone, but Oh How I will cherish this moment!
He was so STICKY and so Chocolatey! But seeing him fall in love with a S'more was well worth the cleaning effort!
I could be the next Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Inspiration
Inspired-outstanding or brilliant in a way or to a degree suggestive of divine inspiration.
Inspiration-a) a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation b) the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions.
When was the last time you felt inspired? When was the last time your marrow felt inspiration from on-high? The word of God breathing down upon you and the Holy Spirit filling you with a joy you feel from your fingertips to your toes.......
All I have to say is Beth Moore! If you take one of her bible studies, or if you ever have the opportunity to see her live (I am going to get my ticket to see her here in Memphis on October 9th....let me know if any of you would like to go as well!) You will find yourself reaching into parts of your being that haven't been delved into before. You will find yourself joyous, happier than you may have ever been because God is working here on Earth, now! Through people like Beth Moore.
I am taking the Beth Moore Esther Study and I can say one thing for sure.....I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting this inspiration to come from this study. I wasn't expecting this joy to come from this study. I wasn't expecting this nodding my head, "I know where you are coming from and sister I know where you have been" to come from this study.
I am SO in the right place right now....God knew what he was doing! I actually said to a friend that I thought this was going to be a good class, but I didn't think that I was going to get as much from this as some of the ladies, because I am feeling pretty confident about my place in this world. WOW! I really wasn't thinking about a lot of things, like: Inspiration....learning and growing and feeding my soul what it needs to be inspired and to keep being inspired. Connections....new bonds that are forming as I sit there and take in Beth's lessons with these wonderful and different ladies. History......I didn't know that subconsciously I was feeling like the Bible was a story and not HISTORY, mine, yours, ours! HISTORY, and God has got to love us to bring us through all that happened in the Bible, right?! And, God has got to love us to bring us through our own tales, too. We've got some stories to tell, don't we?
Beth Moore said this last night, and it has been ringing in my ears and has had me joyfully smiling and unwittingly crying ever since, "You cannot amputate your history from your destiny." Let me say that again, "You cannot amputate your history from your destiny."
Can I get an AMEN?! WOW! And in Beth Moore style look at the person next to you and say, "It's what got you HERE!"
WOW, Beth Moore, WOW. You are inspiring and I am ever grateful for your ministry!
Oh, and let me also add, that I would not be able to take this class without the willingness of my friend Leanne to lead it......You are my soul's sister, I love you, Thank You!
And, lastly, I would not be able to take this class without the support of my amazing husband! God has gifted me Honey...I know I don't always make you feel that way, but he has! I love you more and more each day! I'm entirely too lucky to have you and to have this life I get to share with you. How blessed I am!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Inspiration-a) a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation b) the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions.
When was the last time you felt inspired? When was the last time your marrow felt inspiration from on-high? The word of God breathing down upon you and the Holy Spirit filling you with a joy you feel from your fingertips to your toes.......
All I have to say is Beth Moore! If you take one of her bible studies, or if you ever have the opportunity to see her live (I am going to get my ticket to see her here in Memphis on October 9th....let me know if any of you would like to go as well!) You will find yourself reaching into parts of your being that haven't been delved into before. You will find yourself joyous, happier than you may have ever been because God is working here on Earth, now! Through people like Beth Moore.
I am taking the Beth Moore Esther Study and I can say one thing for sure.....I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting this inspiration to come from this study. I wasn't expecting this joy to come from this study. I wasn't expecting this nodding my head, "I know where you are coming from and sister I know where you have been" to come from this study.
I am SO in the right place right now....God knew what he was doing! I actually said to a friend that I thought this was going to be a good class, but I didn't think that I was going to get as much from this as some of the ladies, because I am feeling pretty confident about my place in this world. WOW! I really wasn't thinking about a lot of things, like: Inspiration....learning and growing and feeding my soul what it needs to be inspired and to keep being inspired. Connections....new bonds that are forming as I sit there and take in Beth's lessons with these wonderful and different ladies. History......I didn't know that subconsciously I was feeling like the Bible was a story and not HISTORY, mine, yours, ours! HISTORY, and God has got to love us to bring us through all that happened in the Bible, right?! And, God has got to love us to bring us through our own tales, too. We've got some stories to tell, don't we?
Beth Moore said this last night, and it has been ringing in my ears and has had me joyfully smiling and unwittingly crying ever since, "You cannot amputate your history from your destiny." Let me say that again, "You cannot amputate your history from your destiny."
Can I get an AMEN?! WOW! And in Beth Moore style look at the person next to you and say, "It's what got you HERE!"
WOW, Beth Moore, WOW. You are inspiring and I am ever grateful for your ministry!
Oh, and let me also add, that I would not be able to take this class without the willingness of my friend Leanne to lead it......You are my soul's sister, I love you, Thank You!
And, lastly, I would not be able to take this class without the support of my amazing husband! God has gifted me Honey...I know I don't always make you feel that way, but he has! I love you more and more each day! I'm entirely too lucky to have you and to have this life I get to share with you. How blessed I am!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
