I've said it before and I will say it again....Words Are How God Speaks To ME! (that's right he doesn't use the Goodyear Blimp....he uses words! Crazy, huh...crazy! haha!) But, what I mean by that, is a single word, verb or noun, adjective or adverb...a single word, is how I hear His voice.
It may seem strange to others who do not have this experience with words, but to me, who sits on a word in her head and just turns it and turns it and uses it to plug up the holes she feels in herself, well, it's not strange at all.
This is how I can equate it to you, have you ever had someone tell you something or relate something to you and you have thought, "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I've heard this all before," only to hear, almost the SAME thing come out of someone else's mouth or see the same message written in a book, but somehow THAT time is the time the message sinks in? And a person in your life who has sat there and "told you so" says, "I've told you that for years." to which you respond, amazed, "Yes, but now I'm actually HEARING it!"
This is how words speak to me....and fill me up!
In Sunday School, our lesson was on Fear; How if we are to say we are truly Christians who are living a life with God in charge, then why would we, as a nation, knee jerk react to things that "threaten" our security. Why do we feel the need to try to "control" things that are truly, uncontrollable? It was a lesson that came to our Sunday School leader after reading a USA Today article in which a Presbyterian Minister challenged whether we actually were a nation of "In God We Trust" by comparing our reactions to fear.
In the article the minister used the word "sensible". Ahhhhhh, I was searching for you and I didn't know it! I've been looking for this word to fill up this hole, this unknown hole. I didn't know I wasn't whole, but I wasn't.
Sensible, to me, evokes this image: a person who is calm, un-ruffled, measured, acts in a way that is realistic, and involves the group's wishes in coming to a conclusion or a decision. You feel you can trust a sensible person because they make good decisions.
I feel like this. That word feels good on me, I think it is a good describer of how I try to live. And, I like sensible people....I guess that's why I like me!
Hearing this word last Sunday and then accepting that this is part of who I feel I am has helped me to work through a recent offense. I find it interesting that me, a sensible person, when confronted with an issue where my sensibilities were questioned, felt quite the opposite of sensible. I felt infuriated and disrespected. Not feelings that fall in line with who me, a sensible person, usually feels. This situation made me feel as though a poison arrow was being hurled at my Achilles Heel and for as strong and as sensible as I am, I chose a very insensible reaction.
"Me, act insensibly?!? Well," I thought, "I'll show them! I will just stop doing any and everything to help them. I mean, how could they think that of me? Why would they choose to take this instance and find it offensive? Am I untrustworthy? Am I not helpful and committed? How could anyone take this situation and make it into something else?" My defenses were up and fully engaged. No one was going to attack me that way! "How about the way they act, huh?!? Why would someone living in a glass house throw stones at me?"
Clarity then came, as a word breezed into my being. It enveloped me like a blanket fresh out of the dryer, "sensible". The word flowed all over me. From head to toe, I felt this word and wondered if it could soak into me...when I was acting quite the opposite.
I felt immediate imbalanced when this situation, where I was the problem, was brought to me. Completely out of touch with me. I am not a person who gets infuriated easily...but, how would you feel when your Achilles Heel was being threatened? Interesting, isn't it, that when the core of who you feel you are is under attack, your immediate tendency is to act as your total opposite! I'm not attracted to people the opposite of sensible. I'm not akin to wanting insensible people in my life....yet I was reacting like one, wasn't I?
As sensible washed over me, I felt shame. How could sensible find me when I wasn't acting at all sensibly? Would I let it penetrate me and, again, define me? Would I allow sensible to fill me up and to cover my Achilles Heel? I had a choice....I was choosing this reaction..and it was far from sensible...measured.....realistic.....un-ruffled.
This dialogue came when deciding what to choose: "You cannot create a world in which everyone will be sensible. You can only infect the world with your sensibility. Changing who you are in reaction to this situation is exactly the opposite of who God made you to be. Accept that your reaction is the only thing you can do to better insensible situations."
Making sense out of situations can seem impossible. And, I decided that it isn't always what God wants me to do when he gave me sensible. Sometimes making sense is saying, this doesn't.
All I can do is not let insensible situations change the sensible me.
Thank You Lord for giving me that clarity. For bringing sensible to me in that newspaper article and for allowing me the sensibility to leave this situation out of my understanding. You'll bring me healing. I know this because you're a sensible God.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
It's an Inclusive Statement
Just a couple of things I wanted to record before they were lost from my memory all together....
Last night, Wyatt comes pitter pattering down the hallway, after I heard him in his bed sort of squawking. I open my arms to him as he walks through the door and say, "Come here baby." He nestles into my arms as I help him into the bed. The object in his right hand does not seem of note, I'm sure it's just a sippy cup. Then I see that the shape isn't quite right for a sippy. No, it isn't....what is that? It's a piggy bank, or maybe it's a doggy bank. A hard plastic Dalmatian Coin Bank in his right hand, which he then moves to the armpit stashing area, and hugs like it was the softest most precious object he had to sleep with. I laughed. I think I'm getting a picture of the future....Wall Street Financier (but maybe not a very good one since the bank is void of money!)
Grant asked to have a "big" carrot this morning.
Here's a little back story on Big Carrots.
My children all LOVE Big Carrots. Little Carrots, otherwise known as Baby Carrots, are a no-go in my house. I've decided not to buy the, obviously, much less delectable, little carrots anymore, because when asked if we have carrots and I say, "Yeah. We have carrots, look down in the drawer." I'll hear this response, "No, not little carrots! I want Big Carrots!" said in that, Who the heck would EVER like these carrots, kind of tone. So, after tossing the last bag of uneaten little carrots, I guess Dan and I don't like little carrots either, and freeing up room in my vegetable drawer, I made sure to buy a bag of Big Carrots while I was shopping this weekend.
Grant caught me chopping-up Big Carrots for what will be our dinner tonight, Vegetable Beef Soup, and asked for one.
"Okay," I say. "I'll peel one for you. Bring me one, please. Oh, and go into your room, turn on the light and say, 'Wake Up Bubba!' Okay?! Can you do that for me?"
"Yup."
Whoosh...he's gone! He didn't bring me a carrot though, so I turn around to see that there is a carrot lying on the floor in front of an opened refrigerator drawer and door. While I hear Grant yelling, "Wake up Bubba! Time to get up!" pause, "We have BIG CARROTS!"
"Grant! You left your carrot on the floor with the refrigerator door open!"
As I cross to the fridge to do the closing myself.
"Oh, it's okay Mom." I hear him say from behind me.
Then, I hear the sound of blowing, hard blowing...."phhhhh" "phhhhhhh"
Turning to look back, there is Grant blowing on his carrot. He tells me, "All better, Mom. I can eat it now!"
Haha...
Of course, I take it from his hand to ACTUALLY clean it. Once peeled, he has his Big Carrot and is over-the-moon happy with his breakfast choice!
Griffin comes into the kitchen after letting me know that yes, he is in fact alive and says, "Hey, I'll have a Big Carrot too. And carrots in my lunch too, please. You can cut those up, but not this one. I want this one Big."
Haha...such a funny morning!
Maybe it's just us Southerners....you know....All Southerners believe Bigger is Better Carrots included.
Last night, Wyatt comes pitter pattering down the hallway, after I heard him in his bed sort of squawking. I open my arms to him as he walks through the door and say, "Come here baby." He nestles into my arms as I help him into the bed. The object in his right hand does not seem of note, I'm sure it's just a sippy cup. Then I see that the shape isn't quite right for a sippy. No, it isn't....what is that? It's a piggy bank, or maybe it's a doggy bank. A hard plastic Dalmatian Coin Bank in his right hand, which he then moves to the armpit stashing area, and hugs like it was the softest most precious object he had to sleep with. I laughed. I think I'm getting a picture of the future....Wall Street Financier (but maybe not a very good one since the bank is void of money!)
Grant asked to have a "big" carrot this morning.
Here's a little back story on Big Carrots.
My children all LOVE Big Carrots. Little Carrots, otherwise known as Baby Carrots, are a no-go in my house. I've decided not to buy the, obviously, much less delectable, little carrots anymore, because when asked if we have carrots and I say, "Yeah. We have carrots, look down in the drawer." I'll hear this response, "No, not little carrots! I want Big Carrots!" said in that, Who the heck would EVER like these carrots, kind of tone. So, after tossing the last bag of uneaten little carrots, I guess Dan and I don't like little carrots either, and freeing up room in my vegetable drawer, I made sure to buy a bag of Big Carrots while I was shopping this weekend.
Grant caught me chopping-up Big Carrots for what will be our dinner tonight, Vegetable Beef Soup, and asked for one.
"Okay," I say. "I'll peel one for you. Bring me one, please. Oh, and go into your room, turn on the light and say, 'Wake Up Bubba!' Okay?! Can you do that for me?"
"Yup."
Whoosh...he's gone! He didn't bring me a carrot though, so I turn around to see that there is a carrot lying on the floor in front of an opened refrigerator drawer and door. While I hear Grant yelling, "Wake up Bubba! Time to get up!" pause, "We have BIG CARROTS!"
"Grant! You left your carrot on the floor with the refrigerator door open!"
As I cross to the fridge to do the closing myself.
"Oh, it's okay Mom." I hear him say from behind me.
Then, I hear the sound of blowing, hard blowing...."phhhhh" "phhhhhhh"
Turning to look back, there is Grant blowing on his carrot. He tells me, "All better, Mom. I can eat it now!"
Haha...
Of course, I take it from his hand to ACTUALLY clean it. Once peeled, he has his Big Carrot and is over-the-moon happy with his breakfast choice!
Griffin comes into the kitchen after letting me know that yes, he is in fact alive and says, "Hey, I'll have a Big Carrot too. And carrots in my lunch too, please. You can cut those up, but not this one. I want this one Big."
Haha...such a funny morning!
Maybe it's just us Southerners....you know....All Southerners believe Bigger is Better Carrots included.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Just a short little post about convenience.
Have you ever noticed how PO'd we can be when we have to wait? How itchy-for-a-fix we can get when Facebook is down or when we leave our cell phone at home?
How bad is it that back in the day, I could remember every single phone number of every one of my friends in elementary, junior high and high school, even college, but if you asked me today what my Mom's telephone number was I would have to look it up in my phone?!?!? No excuses...this is BAD!
I'm starting to wonder if I might not find life more exciting, even more luscious, if I take away some of the conveniences of my life and start focusing on a life of less.
It bothers me that in my convenienced life, I see that my relationships can be lacking because I rely so heavily on things, and not me. I love the sound of a loved one's voice, yet I text more and more now because of the convenience. I'm simply not placing enough significance on making time. Other times, I find that I take on too much instead of asking for help from others. Because it's more convenient to do it myself instead of stopping to teach someone else. What's that saying....Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.
Technologies that were intended to help me have made me less of who I want to be. So I need to make some changes....what about you? Do these ideas ever run through your head? Tell me I'm not the only one who wishes things were just a little more like yesteryear....
I've made a decision. Yesteryear can be this year if I start with me.
Now, where to start?
Suggestions?
No more TV? Newpaper instead? Less toys so that the boys have to look outside for entertainment or to books or to learning card games or making-up games? Should I write more letters? No more cell phone at all? Use the cell phone only when at home? No more phone calls in the car? No more texting? No more...gasp...Facebook?!?
I'm going to think on this....and make some slow changes, this is going to be my YesterYear Project.
Have you ever noticed how PO'd we can be when we have to wait? How itchy-for-a-fix we can get when Facebook is down or when we leave our cell phone at home?
How bad is it that back in the day, I could remember every single phone number of every one of my friends in elementary, junior high and high school, even college, but if you asked me today what my Mom's telephone number was I would have to look it up in my phone?!?!? No excuses...this is BAD!
I'm starting to wonder if I might not find life more exciting, even more luscious, if I take away some of the conveniences of my life and start focusing on a life of less.
It bothers me that in my convenienced life, I see that my relationships can be lacking because I rely so heavily on things, and not me. I love the sound of a loved one's voice, yet I text more and more now because of the convenience. I'm simply not placing enough significance on making time. Other times, I find that I take on too much instead of asking for help from others. Because it's more convenient to do it myself instead of stopping to teach someone else. What's that saying....Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.
Technologies that were intended to help me have made me less of who I want to be. So I need to make some changes....what about you? Do these ideas ever run through your head? Tell me I'm not the only one who wishes things were just a little more like yesteryear....
I've made a decision. Yesteryear can be this year if I start with me.
Now, where to start?
Suggestions?
No more TV? Newpaper instead? Less toys so that the boys have to look outside for entertainment or to books or to learning card games or making-up games? Should I write more letters? No more cell phone at all? Use the cell phone only when at home? No more phone calls in the car? No more texting? No more...gasp...Facebook?!?
I'm going to think on this....and make some slow changes, this is going to be my YesterYear Project.
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