Let's Hope I Know What I'm Doing!!

Today, I decided having a Blog of our own might be a good way of keeping in touch with our family and friends! So, let's see how this goes.....

Today is Saturday, so I should be cleaning and cooking and wondering "why is it so hard to get my kids to pick up after themselves? Yeah, I'm talking to you Dan!" Ha! But, instead, I am creating a blog and hoping that I will have time to keep it going.

Everyone is always asking me what Griffin has done lately that would make them laugh. Well, pretty much every waking moment is an opportunity for comedy when it comes to that kid!
But, lately, he has proclaimed that I cannot cook.
It went something like this.....

Me: "Griffin, you need to at least TRY some of the dinner I made, you can't say you don't like it until AFTER you have actually touched it to your tongue!"
Griffin: "But, Mom. I don't like this. I don't like beans!"
Me: "Well, you used to like beans, and if you just take a bite with all of it mixed up you won't even taste the beans!"
Griffin: "Mom. You're nasty." (oh, I am? I'm nasty?) "I mean, you cook nasty. Why do you always cook nasty stuff?"
You're right, i'm thinking. Coming home early from work to cook you a home-cooked meal, so that you won't grow a third arm from all the preservatives you usually are subjected to, that was a bad idea. Why don't I just feed you another helping of pop-tarts covered with marshmallows, chocolate syrup, and topped with Cheetos. That'd make you happy, huh?! Yeah, you'd be happy with that until you reach adulthood and are attending group therapy for your problem with relationships, and it will come up that your mother never fed you a home-cooked meal and she worked! How dare she work! Selfish-Wench!! No wonder I am screwed up! It's all my mother's fault.
Me: "Well, I'm not giving you any fuel for your therapy, sir. No way!"
Griffin: "What Mom?"
Me: "Nothing, eat two bites. Then you can have candy. I know that'll make you happy." (Just Kidding.)

Oh, and did anyone know this?? There's a race strip in our house! Yes! It's so obvious! Don't know why we haven't noticed it! Yes, it goes through the house, over any folded laundry or shoes nicely sitting next to the door. Yes, anything that you would like to keep from having tire tracks on, or anything that could be seen as a possible speedbump (but, truly an inevitable pitfall, to band-aid-ville!) is part of the race track!
When I see what is happening and proclaim to Griffin to stop racing through the house, someone is GOING to get hurt. It is only seconds after he utters, "No I won't" that he is crying on the floor holding a knee and saying, "Well you shouldn't have put that shoe there. I tripped on it and got a boo-boo. You know a boo-boo, like the kind you have?" Whaaaaa-Whaaaa
Me: "Boo-Boo? I don't have a boo-boo?"
Griffin: "Yes you do. Right there. (pointing to my chest) The ones you used to feed Wyatt with."
Me: "Oh, ha ha! No, honey, those are my boobies. And I promise you, as many times as you fall, you will never come up with these on your knees. And if you do, we will have to call Ripley's because no one is going to believe that!!"
****Note to Self, add future therapy sessions to next month's budget!!!