What's Wrong With Bikini Underwear?

First of all, if you wear thong underwear, I hope I do not offend you here. But, I think you will get my point if you decide to read further.

Yesterday, I left work early because Griffin has a swim lesson. We get to the Y, and there I find out that the swim lesson has been cancelled. This peeves me a little because I was going to work out. But, now, Griffin wants to go home. This would make for good use of my time....run home, start fixing dinner, get the dishes done, etc, before I have to go pick up the little ones...alright, no working out for me. Not working out, though, does make me a little sad because I am seriously trying to get swimsuit ready...or at least not look like two-ton Tessie at the swimming pool this summer.

So, off we go to the house, where Griffin has requested I make "tomatoes" for dinner. "Tomatoes, you don't like tomatoes....you mean PO-tatoes?"
"Oh yeah, that's what I meant, ba-tatoes.....you know the crumbly ones. The kind that are all sort of mooshed-up."
"Mashed Potatoes. You want mashed potatoes."
"Yeah. Can you make those for dinner? I love those!"
"Sure honey. I should have enough time before I have to go pick up your brothers, so sure."
"Good!"
Mashed potatoes, corn, and chicken was our menu. While I cooked, Griffin asked if he could have breakfast since he didn't have breakfast that morning. "Sure. But I am making you crumbly potatoes (giggle)....don't fill up on breakfast!"
"Oh I won't!"
......"Mom."
"Yes."
"You didn't tell me good morning before you left."
"I didn't? Oh, I'm sorry honey!"
"And you didn't give me a kiss."
"Oh, I am doubly sorry sweetie! I didn't know I missed that too!"
"I really like getting kisses from you in the morning....and for you to tell me Good Morning...and you didn't."
"Well, if that made you sad, I apologize. Can I give you a kiss now?"
"Sure."
Muhwah
"Okay. We're good."

"This is the best dinner ever!"
"Well, I'm glad you like it!"
"Did you know that corn and mashed ba-tatoes is a recipe Mom?"
"No, I didn't know that."
"Yep, mixing your corn into your mashed potatoes is....we should write that down."
"Okay. Who would we tell? We already know that recipe."
"My teachers and grandma. We should tell them about corn and mashed ba-tatoes...they would like this recipe, it's the best!"
"Well, we might need to do that."

After dinner and cleaning up, I had to run out to a meeting at church. I wasn't sure what time it started. Though, I was thinking 6:30 sounded right (but thought 6:00 could be right too, so I left the house and got to the church at 6:15, either 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late, but either was acceptable in my mind.)

At the church I was surprised I saw no cars. Hmmm, 6:30 must have been right.....I'm early.

After waiting around for another 10 minutes I decided something must be wrong here. The committee I am on at church has like 30 or more people on it, and many of them are older, and let's just say that the old folks I know I never late going anywhere. So, I walk up to the church entrance to find out what is going on. Sam, the custodian, informs me I was really early, the meeting did not start until 7:00. Crud!

Hey, but look here I am still in my workout clothes and the Y is right next door. So, off I run to the van and next door I go to the gym! I can still get in my workout!

Upon entering the Exercise Room, I notice a couple of youngsters hanging out in there. Two girls just sort of hanging around looking at things. The two both have full-makeup on and I'm guessing neither is more than 14.

Whatever, I have a workout to do here! Looks like these girls are just looking for some attention.

After climbing to the top of the Sears Tower, and no joke, that is what I felt like afterwards, I rush over to the Hip Abduction machine, I have just a few more minutes to get those Suzanne Somers Thigh Master legs, I notice the two girls from earlier are now on Ellipticals side by side. Seriously girls, how are you getting any sort of work out? You're barely walking on those things and talking non-stop. It wouldn't have surprised me if next they started text messaging each other on their cell phones OMG, did you see that hottie over there? He was totally checking me out!

I'm in a huge hurry, gotta get to my meeting, but as I run over to get the spray and clean off my machine for the next person, one of the girl's grabs my attention. Is she wearing jean shorts, and tiny ones at that? Jean shorts, or maybe I should call them denim underwear, no wonder you're barely making that thing go....hello, heard of chafing before? Ouch!
Then, I see something else that itty-bitty jean shorts girl is sporting, a Whale Tail, as my husband would call it, or a thong to all of us not so witty folks. And, now, I am disgusted.

14, maybe, wearing shorts that barely cover her rear with underwear on that are obviously so far up her crack (or just that much too big for her very immature physique) that the band and the T are a good 4 inches higher than the waistband of her shorts.......gross! Where is your MOTHER!!!

No mother in sight, I'm vigorously cleaning this machine saying to myself, You can just walk out like you never saw a thing. But is that right?! It WILL only take you a second to stop by and tell her what she's flashing....and by the way, does your mother know you wear those?

With my machine cleaner than anyone else has ever left it, I decide on doing what's right....Okay, let's do this......
"Honey, your underwear are showing."
Annoyed look from barely teen whose conversation and "work-out" have just been interrupted, "WhaTTT?"
"Your underwear are showing."
Words sinking in to the cavernous empty space between her two ears, "oh." And, then, a feeble attempt is made to pull down at her shirt and pull up on the denim cloth.

I walked away thinking:
And your mother let you come here this way? What was she thinking? And your working-out, is puh-leez...pathetic, no one is buying this act honey! And do you see these grown men behind you? I'm sure you are making them laugh their tails off...baby-girl trying to look like a "woman". What sort of example of a girl are you displaying here? I may not be a tramp, but today I am playing the role of one....Full makeup, shorts that barely restrain my bits, and a thin shred of material "covering" my most private of all areas.
Little girl.......GROSS.

I went home last night and the first thing I said to my husband was, "There are definite benefits to having boys."

And, Griffin, just so you know, Mommie will always be here to tell you Good Morning and give you kisses ....but, if at 14 you bring home a girl who looks like this......she will never get the corn and mashed ba-tato recipe!