Game Shows and Censoring, Can't Decide What I'm Talking About Here!

Has anyone else been watching this show on the Food Network, "Chopped"?

It has become one of my new faves. I love the gameshow element of it, "Who will make the most impressive meal? Who will come out on top?" Which is why I have also always loved the Iron Chef shows. I especially liked Iron Chef back in the day. The Japanese show that the Food Network bought and dubbed over with English speakers. Think Kung-Fu Theatre in the kitchen!

Anyway, back on topic, Chopped. It's good. It has a panel of three judges, tasting the fares of 4 chefs. In round one, the chefs are to make an appetizer using all of the ingredients found in their baskets (everyone has the same ingredients). They can also use anything they find in the "pantry" to complete their dish. There are three rounds, Appetizer, Entree, and Dessert. A chef is Chopped each round leaving one Chef victorious, and the winner of $10,000. Oh, and in each round, the chefs have only 30 minutes to concoct, cook, and plate their dishes, and the ingredients in the baskets change with each round so there's no pre-planning. Just open up the basket and start cookin'!

It gets me excited seeing what ingredients they will have, and thinking "What would I do with those?" Course I'll think things like, "Oh, I'd make a Peanut Sauce with that, and pair it with a Fresh Mint Salad and Shrimp Puff..." Though, I can think it all I want, but I wouldn't know how to execute it to save my life,! And I sure as heck couldn't do it in 30 minutes! Whew, no way!

But, it gets me thinking. I pick out my favorite chef at the beginning, and if there were a way of betting on my pony, I would!

That's what I have always loved about game shows. You get involved. You pick a favorite. You talk to the TV telling him or her how stupid they made you look when they answered that way or chose that whatever. Doesn't he know that the capital of Norway is Oslo? Great....I put my bet on this one?!? Crap. Send my pony to the glue factory, he's worthless.

Game Shows are my kind of gambling. No money is exchanged, I get to show off how smart I am to all those who are in the room, usually just me. And if I decide I don't like my pony, well, I just pick a new one half way through. I can't associate myself with Nitwits now can I?

But, Chopped got me thinking about something I had wondered a while back....Where have Game Shows gone? We still have the Price is Right, I think. Though, I'll have to say, I saw it once when it was on prime time, and Drew Carey sucked! He is definitely no Bob Barker.

Back when I first started wondering, "Where have Game Shows gone?" CBS came out with Million Dollar password. I was psyched! Too cool! I loved that show growing up, Super Password, that is. But, now, no more Password. Maybe it's just on hiatus. But, what the crap? Am I the only one who still likes a good Game Show?

Wheel of Fortune is still going, so that must not be the case. But what about reviving The Match Game or The Joker's Wild or Tic-Tac Dough? With Game Show Host's whose names are Wink, Bert, Gene, and Bob. They wore suits and had classic "reporter" hair. And the celebrities on the shows could kind of get bawdy in their responses. It was funny! Their answers were just slightly risque. No one was ever over the line. They got just close enough to it to make it funny!

Seems like these days you have to worry about every word that comes out of your mouth. "Oops, shouldn'ta said that, gonna hear from this group on that one....oops, messed-up again, I might get fired for that." Great. Fine. Censor us to death. Now our kids are being pooh-poohed away from so much that it's like being rebellious to say "Butt!" or "Fart!" Just to let you know, these have been replaced with "bottom" and "pooting". (I guess tooting was even too crass.)

In fact, I was just corrected the other day by Griffin when I asked him to "push his butt up" because I needed to get his pants under it while he was seated on the couch. "Mom. It's called a bottom. You should say bottom." Great. It's a bottom. Super. Well, let's just get this straight right from the get-go. A butt is a butt, a bottom is a butt, a tush is a butt, a hiney is a butt, the gluteus-maximus is the butt muscle (mine is covered with a thick layer of fat, but I promise you the muscle is in some shrunken space below), buttocks, booty, etc. All of these are non-curse words we can use to refer to that area of the body. It's just now, someone has decided that the least offensive term is bottom, so let's all adopt that word, okay?!? Might as well just get rid of those other offensive ones.

I caught myself saying this improper, "butt" word in The Live Big class I teach, and I was seriously upset with myself. My internal thought was, "Carrie, you can't say that in church! These kids are gonna leave here saying 'butt', and when their parents ask them where they have learned this word, they're going to say, 'My Live Big teacher said it!'" Good Gracious! Lightning should have struck down from the heavens and zapped me flat!

But, I did it too. I chastised myself for saying butt, when it is a perfectly fine word. Sure, bottom might have been a more appropriate choice. But, it wasn't going to hurt any of those kids to hear the word butt.

I should throw in the fart word sometime during my next class and refer to "tee-tee" as pee! I'll be banished for sure!

I guess what I'm saying is that Game Shows of old made me feel appropriate. I wasn't some "looks nice on the outside but has the mouth of a trucker" sorta lady. Game Shows from times past made me feel like I was gambling when I wasn't. And Game Shows engaged me. Got me thinking.

I'm tired of having more appropriate words forced down my throat and I'm sick of feeling like conforming for the "greater good" is how I should live. I'd like to keep my uniqueness, please. God intended for me to be this way. He crafted only one like me, and I'm pretty sure it would be an abomination of His name to change.

So, if you hear me saying, "Who farted?" and, "No wait, first I gotta go pee." and, "There's no Butt Wipe in here, somebody bring me some please." Just leave me be. I know there are better, more appropriate words, but I like the ones I choose, and they're not hurting anyone.

By the way, seriously, "Who farted?"