Boys, I Have a Definite Lack of Understanding!

So, I was walking towards our hallway from the kitchen when I hear that sound everyone can recognize, the sound of a liquid streaming out onto a surface. I'm looking around, "Where's that coming from, what's leaking????" I push the bathroom door open and no one was in there. 'Course, it was a liquid being poured onto a surface sound, not into the toilet. So, I knew before looking that I wouldn't find the culprit there.

As I round the corner, I see Griffin in the doorway of his room in the "Peeing Position" and I scream, "What are you doing?????"

He turns around, and says, "I just couldn't make it to the bathroom, Mom!!!"

What?!?!? You couldn't make it the 6 paces from your bedroom door to the bathroom?

"Griffin, you know that isn't true! You just decided you wanted to pee on that towel, for some reason, and so you did. It had nothing to do with not being able to make it!!!!"

"Mom, I couldn't make it! I just couldn't make it!"

I will never understand boys. Never. Not going to ever understand how peeing on a towel in your bedroom, just feet from the bathroom is an option over going in the toilet!!!

Maybe I should should just squat down on his pillow and say, "Oh, sorry, I just couldn't make it, Griffin!"

Of course we made him pick up the towel and put it in the dirty laundry pile, but what else could we do? Rub his nose in it?

I tell you, one of the hardest things about parenting is knowing how to punish your child fairly. You know the punishment should befit the crime, but what do you do when they've run into your car with their bicycle for the 8th time knowing they were to stay away from it, or when they have marked all over some important papers but YOU were the one who left the pen there for them to mark with?!? It's hard I tell you. Because sometimes you have to hold the mirror back on yourself. You have to think, "Well, I guess he didn't know it would make me mad if he got into the pantry and pulled out the cereal box upside down, draining it of its contents, he thought he was HELPING!"

But, you don't want them to do it again! So, what's the right way to handle it? Put a padlock on the pantry door? Tell him only Mommy is allowed to pull the boxes down from the shelf? Have him make sure he is asking BEFORE he is getting what he thinks he needs? Choices, choices!

I usually go with the latter since I can't be in three places at once! I've found that one of them is always going to need me and, inevitably, it will be at the same time the other two need me as well! So, I have to encourage them to be independent. Their Independence equals more time for me to see a task through from beginning to end (or at least that is my hope, my prayer, the result I wish to someday attain!!!)

But, punishments are hard, or at least it seems they can be. And, especially when you are seeing this latest transgression as something that needs to be punished while your spouse is laughing his head off because, "C'mon! You KNOW that's funny!" Well, of course its funny! But we can't let him think that! Then he'll do it again!

So, my whole philosophy on punishment has become this, tell him it's wrong. Let him know you expected a better choice, and if he does it again, he will have to be punished. But, let the punishment be something he conjures up. Just say something like, "If you do that again, we are going to have a SERIOUS punishment for you. So do it again, c'mon, do it, and see what the punishment will be!" Oh if he doesn't know what it could be his little mind will go wild!! It could be ANYTHING!!!!

I think the more varied the punishments, the better chance you have of your child heeding your word. He'll think, "My misbehavior could warrant anything!!!" He doesn't know what could be coming at him! He can't pinpoint what punishment will be bestowed upon him, therefore he cannot pre-identify the pro's and con's of his behavior.

If he were to know that every time I do X my Mom gives me a spanking, well, he might determine that a little bit of pain is worth the pleasure he feels while doing X. But, if he has NO IDEA what the punishment could be, there can be no scientific analysis. It's more, "She might kill me this time! She looked really mad the last time. Yep, she could kill me, she probably wants to!"

I had these same thoughts go through my head growing up. I'm sure we all did! As a child, you think it is entirely possible that your parents could kill you, and maybe even sometimes want to! Man, making them mad was taking your life into your own hands!!!!

I always wondered why some of my friends growing up, didn't have this fear? Now, as a parent, I think it is because of two things. One, their parents threatened but never followed through (BIG NO NO, in my book!) Or, two, they gave the same punishments no matter the crime. So, getting spanked was no big deal, you'd had a million before, they're not so bad. Or you've been grounded from the TV before, you survived, it wasn't THAT awful.

So, a lesson for sure, that I will someday pass on to my boys is to be a varied punisher. Think about punishments, get creative with them because punishing can be a difficult task, and you want to make sure that you're choosing well. And then, let your child stew. Tell him he IS going to be punished, just do it again and SEE what happens! And that's when your child will contemplate death.....theirs.....at your hands.....Oh you gotta love the active imagination of a child!!!!

Now, here are some cute pics from the weekend. Rebellious, but Adorable!

Hey, Hey, Hey, It's Me Fat WY WY!!!

Oh, but you gotta admit, he is one precious little chunk!!

And here they all are playing nicely with their blocks.

Had to commit this one to record, playing nicely, a sometimes rare occurrence for us!!