Warning: You're About to View a Whole Lotta Bull

There is POWER in Numbers...But One Person DOES Make a Difference...

2011-09-13T08:02:00.004-05:00

Unity. How do you feel united? What makes you feel aglow with passion? What keeps your heart going? What makes you feel loved without someone telling you, verbally, every day...I Love You....You're so Perfect...You're the Best Thing that ever happened to me....What keeps you gripping to something when sometimes you wonder...Is my grip being held on the other side? Because I feel like I am slipping.
It's unity. A line that you stand at with another. A force you two, or you ten, envoke when you stand as one. This is how groups become groups. This is why our country became the United States.
Without Unity we are only strangers, self-absorbed, and un-feeling individuals.
Families of the past have been the unified forces of rock-solid determination and of unconditional support. It seems that our families are not what they used to be, though...so how do we make that better? (go to the mirror and look in it.)
Neighborhoods used to be an extension of your family. People you needed on your side because against you would create too much opportunity for turmoil. How could I be friendly with them? What do I even have in common with him? (here's a thought....assuming you have nothing they would desire, or they have nothing you desire, is another way of saying...I got this...I have enough people in my life...I don't need you.)
Power. So many of us are struggling with the lack of feeling power in our lives. We feel like life is something that happens to us, not that we have an active role in. We find ourselves loving and admiring others, but without the love of self to look at our own reflection and say....I am beautiful. I am brave. I am someone who can change. I can be powerful.
Unity=Power
When you are feeling discouraged...or beaten down. Do you turn inward? Do you feel like your problems should not be the problems of others? Does your small voice inside say, "No one really cares to hear about your problems....Everyone else is dealing with their own."
This is your one-way ticket to separatism....To feelings of anger and negativity and detachment.
I want to challenge every person, to push those feelings of detachment, and those inclinations to gossip, and withdraw out of your head. Tighten your tongue, but fill-up your heart. Find a way...there is ALWAYS a way.
Unity can be slowly taken from us when we give in to the feelings someone else tries to impose upon us. Don't give in. Cling to this, "I'm a better person for all the things that come my way. Even when those things are not pleasant."
There is a grip on the other end of yours....and He is God. He's holding you tight. He's asking for your acceptance as His creation and He's willing to accept you, even in your failing.
Get United. Stand Powerful. Know that choosing to hold true to what you know is right, will bring you through any storm.
When you give in to gossip, and anger...you loosen your grip on Him. Jesus taught us to love one another...all others...even the ones whose actions should not warrant love. Love others. FEEL UNITED. Become Powerful.
There was never another man in life like Jesus. But, how many of us wouldn't want to love like that? Wouldn't want to sit so calmly in our faith that no matter the toil presented, love and grace is all that can emanate.
If you are reading this....know that I Love You! That I thank God every day for the blessings of my life and for His tight grip on me. I feel United and Powerful in Him because of you. Because of everyone he has put in my life.
If you ever need anyone to help you feel more put-together...more connected....better acknowledged, please don't forget about me.
Today I realized I have been losing a lot of ground in my journey because I've let BUSY become my mantra. But, I want you to know....I'm never too busy for you and I'm grateful for being a part of your life...big or small. In person or in the cyber-world.
All My Love,
Carrie

Sense and Sensability

2010-10-26T07:25:00.006-05:00

I've said it before and I will say it again....Words Are How God Speaks To ME! (that's right he doesn't use the Goodyear Blimp....he uses words! Crazy, huh...crazy! haha!) But, what I mean by that, is a single word, verb or noun, adjective or adverb...a single word, is how I hear His voice.

It may seem strange to others who do not have this experience with words, but to me, who sits on a word in her head and just turns it and turns it and uses it to plug up the holes she feels in herself, well, it's not strange at all.

This is how I can equate it to you, have you ever had someone tell you something or relate something to you and you have thought, "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I've heard this all before," only to hear, almost the SAME thing come out of someone else's mouth or see the same message written in a book, but somehow THAT time is the time the message sinks in? And a person in your life who has sat there and "told you so" says, "I've told you that for years." to which you respond, amazed, "Yes, but now I'm actually HEARING it!"
This is how words speak to me....and fill me up!

In Sunday School, our lesson was on Fear; How if we are to say we are truly Christians who are living a life with God in charge, then why would we, as a nation, knee jerk react to things that "threaten" our security. Why do we feel the need to try to "control" things that are truly, uncontrollable? It was a lesson that came to our Sunday School leader after reading a USA Today article in which a Presbyterian Minister challenged whether we actually were a nation of "In God We Trust" by comparing our reactions to fear.

In the article the minister used the word "sensible". Ahhhhhh, I was searching for you and I didn't know it! I've been looking for this word to fill up this hole, this unknown hole. I didn't know I wasn't whole, but I wasn't.

Sensible, to me, evokes this image: a person who is calm, un-ruffled, measured, acts in a way that is realistic, and involves the group's wishes in coming to a conclusion or a decision. You feel you can trust a sensible person because they make good decisions.
I feel like this. That word feels good on me, I think it is a good describer of how I try to live. And, I like sensible people....I guess that's why I like me!

Hearing this word last Sunday and then accepting that this is part of who I feel I am has helped me to work through a recent offense. I find it interesting that me, a sensible person, when confronted with an issue where my sensibilities were questioned, felt quite the opposite of sensible. I felt infuriated and disrespected. Not feelings that fall in line with who me, a sensible person, usually feels. This situation made me feel as though a poison arrow was being hurled at my Achilles Heel and for as strong and as sensible as I am, I chose a very insensible reaction.

"Me, act insensibly?!? Well," I thought, "I'll show them! I will just stop doing any and everything to help them. I mean, how could they think that of me? Why would they choose to take this instance and find it offensive? Am I untrustworthy? Am I not helpful and committed? How could anyone take this situation and make it into something else?" My defenses were up and fully engaged. No one was going to attack me that way! "How about the way they act, huh?!? Why would someone living in a glass house throw stones at me?"

Clarity then came, as a word breezed into my being. It enveloped me like a blanket fresh out of the dryer, "sensible". The word flowed all over me. From head to toe, I felt this word and wondered if it could soak into me...when I was acting quite the opposite.

I felt immediate imbalanced when this situation, where I was the problem, was brought to me. Completely out of touch with me. I am not a person who gets infuriated easily...but, how would you feel when your Achilles Heel was being threatened? Interesting, isn't it, that when the core of who you feel you are is under attack, your immediate tendency is to act as your total opposite! I'm not attracted to people the opposite of sensible. I'm not akin to wanting insensible people in my life....yet I was reacting like one, wasn't I?

As sensible washed over me, I felt shame. How could sensible find me when I wasn't acting at all sensibly? Would I let it penetrate me and, again, define me? Would I allow sensible to fill me up and to cover my Achilles Heel? I had a choice....I was choosing this reaction..and it was far from sensible...measured.....realistic.....un-ruffled.

This dialogue came when deciding what to choose: "You cannot create a world in which everyone will be sensible. You can only infect the world with your sensibility. Changing who you are in reaction to this situation is exactly the opposite of who God made you to be. Accept that your reaction is the only thing you can do to better insensible situations."

Making sense out of situations can seem impossible. And, I decided that it isn't always what God wants me to do when he gave me sensible. Sometimes making sense is saying, this doesn't.
All I can do is not let insensible situations change the sensible me.

Thank You Lord for giving me that clarity. For bringing sensible to me in that newspaper article and for allowing me the sensibility to leave this situation out of my understanding. You'll bring me healing. I know this because you're a sensible God.

It's an Inclusive Statement

2010-10-13T08:53:00.003-05:00

Just a couple of things I wanted to record before they were lost from my memory all together....

Last night, Wyatt comes pitter pattering down the hallway, after I heard him in his bed sort of squawking. I open my arms to him as he walks through the door and say, "Come here baby." He nestles into my arms as I help him into the bed. The object in his right hand does not seem of note, I'm sure it's just a sippy cup. Then I see that the shape isn't quite right for a sippy. No, it isn't....what is that? It's a piggy bank, or maybe it's a doggy bank. A hard plastic Dalmatian Coin Bank in his right hand, which he then moves to the armpit stashing area, and hugs like it was the softest most precious object he had to sleep with. I laughed. I think I'm getting a picture of the future....Wall Street Financier (but maybe not a very good one since the bank is void of money!)

Grant asked to have a "big" carrot this morning.

Here's a little back story on Big Carrots.
My children all LOVE Big Carrots. Little Carrots, otherwise known as Baby Carrots, are a no-go in my house. I've decided not to buy the, obviously, much less delectable, little carrots anymore, because when asked if we have carrots and I say, "Yeah. We have carrots, look down in the drawer." I'll hear this response, "No, not little carrots! I want Big Carrots!" said in that, Who the heck would EVER like these carrots, kind of tone. So, after tossing the last bag of uneaten little carrots, I guess Dan and I don't like little carrots either, and freeing up room in my vegetable drawer, I made sure to buy a bag of Big Carrots while I was shopping this weekend.

Grant caught me chopping-up Big Carrots for what will be our dinner tonight, Vegetable Beef Soup, and asked for one.
"Okay," I say. "I'll peel one for you. Bring me one, please. Oh, and go into your room, turn on the light and say, 'Wake Up Bubba!' Okay?! Can you do that for me?"
"Yup."

Whoosh...he's gone! He didn't bring me a carrot though, so I turn around to see that there is a carrot lying on the floor in front of an opened refrigerator drawer and door. While I hear Grant yelling, "Wake up Bubba! Time to get up!" pause, "We have BIG CARROTS!"
"Grant! You left your carrot on the floor with the refrigerator door open!"
As I cross to the fridge to do the closing myself.
"Oh, it's okay Mom." I hear him say from behind me.
Then, I hear the sound of blowing, hard blowing...."phhhhh" "phhhhhhh"
Turning to look back, there is Grant blowing on his carrot. He tells me, "All better, Mom. I can eat it now!"
Haha...
Of course, I take it from his hand to ACTUALLY clean it. Once peeled, he has his Big Carrot and is over-the-moon happy with his breakfast choice!

Griffin comes into the kitchen after letting me know that yes, he is in fact alive and says, "Hey, I'll have a Big Carrot too. And carrots in my lunch too, please. You can cut those up, but not this one. I want this one Big."
Haha...such a funny morning!
Maybe it's just us Southerners....you know....All Southerners believe Bigger is Better Carrots included.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

2010-10-07T10:06:00.005-05:00

Just a short little post about convenience.

Have you ever noticed how PO'd we can be when we have to wait? How itchy-for-a-fix we can get when Facebook is down or when we leave our cell phone at home?

How bad is it that back in the day, I could remember every single phone number of every one of my friends in elementary, junior high and high school, even college, but if you asked me today what my Mom's telephone number was I would have to look it up in my phone?!?!? No excuses...this is BAD!

I'm starting to wonder if I might not find life more exciting, even more luscious, if I take away some of the conveniences of my life and start focusing on a life of less.

It bothers me that in my convenienced life, I see that my relationships can be lacking because I rely so heavily on things, and not me. I love the sound of a loved one's voice, yet I text more and more now because of the convenience. I'm simply not placing enough significance on making time. Other times, I find that I take on too much instead of asking for help from others. Because it's more convenient to do it myself instead of stopping to teach someone else. What's that saying....Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.

Technologies that were intended to help me have made me less of who I want to be. So I need to make some changes....what about you? Do these ideas ever run through your head? Tell me I'm not the only one who wishes things were just a little more like yesteryear....

I've made a decision. Yesteryear can be this year if I start with me.

Now, where to start?

Suggestions?

No more TV? Newpaper instead? Less toys so that the boys have to look outside for entertainment or to books or to learning card games or making-up games? Should I write more letters? No more cell phone at all? Use the cell phone only when at home? No more phone calls in the car? No more texting? No more...gasp...Facebook?!?

I'm going to think on this....and make some slow changes, this is going to be my YesterYear Project.

English Lesson

2010-09-28T08:45:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine lost her father recently. Another friend of mine lost her mother today. My husband's father was deathly ill just last week....very, very sick....which brought me to this.....Parents are so special. Prophetic, aren't I?

Definitely not a new thought, I know, but a new way of thinking, for me. As a person trained in reporting, I started to note, that there is no greater role than that of a parent. As any good reporter does, I asked myself the 5 W's, and came up with this:

Parents are the WHERE and WHEN of our origination. They are the WHAT of our decision making, and the WHY and the HOW behind our WHO.
To every question they are our answer....what a pivotal role in humanity a parent plays....none is more important.

But, how often do you as a parent give yourself this importance? Not very often....I know. Think for a moment, though, on how many times a day God smiles upon you when He sees His love spilling out of you and onto His...who happen to also be yours?! :) Now, tell me THAT thought doesn't change your view on parents!?!?

Living in the South you hear people say the word 'Proud' an awful lot. And it's used in ways I had never heard while living in the Midwest, like: "I was just so proud to help you." And by people who barely know you, you'll hear, "I can't believe you accomplished that?! I'm so proud!"

At first it makes you feel like, "Um, hello? You had nothing to do with my accomplishment, why would YOU be proud?!?" or "Proud, really? You were Proud to help me? Why? You made me some copies...is that a prideful act?"

As a somewhat cynical Yank, I guess I wondered who had taught the English language to these southern folks and why would a person feel pride in something that had little to do with them? Pride is a boastful word not a word you use to find yourself in others' accomplishments...not when you didn't even do anything, am I right?!

But, as I've come to learn, and come to LOVE about living in the South, pride is more than just a selfish verb giving reference back to only the speaker....it's more of a Faithful verb.....giving accolades to Him, our one true parent.

Finding PRIDE in what the people around you do, is a good thing, a GREAT thing. I'm so proud....I'm so proud you got that award! Why am I proud? Because seeing Him glorify you, makes me so grateful that we share the same father!

Don't let anyone ever say that a Southerner doesn't know how to use the word Proud correctly....I think the rest of us could use a few more lessons in His language, don't you?!

What's Been Goin' On?

2009-11-06T08:04:00.002-06:00

So, I know I haven't posted in a while....and I have heard from folks that y'all have been wondering where I have been. I sort of fell off the planet a bit....you're right.

I am going to get pictures up soon. I have so many to post. You will probably feel a bit overwhelmed when I do finally get them on here. Many months worth are waiting to be added!

And, too, I want you to know that I have started no less than approximately 3 new posts....but I either decided the posts weren't good enough or that they just sounded a bit blabby....no real content, just a bunch of blabbering. Who really wants to read that, huh?! Well, even if you did, I decided you wouldn't.

Today is sort of emotional for me. And this isn't the first day I have had like this lately.

I'm one day away from possibly knowing what the cause for Griff's learning issues are and I am feeling all kinds of things.
Anxious
Sad
Happy
Worried (though I am trying really hard to live in the moment....baby steps)
Thankful
Frustrated
Insecure
Restless

Just so many things. I want my child to have things as easy as is possible. Don't all parents wish for that? I want things for him to be without frustration. For him to love learning, not want to run away from it. His life as a student will be such a drudgery if day in and day out he leaves for school thinking, "This place is no fun. They suck the self esteem from me. They make me feel like I am dumb."

What a crappy way to feel.

Dan and I were discussing this last night and I was saying, "I read that thing from the teacher. It said that the average student has to see and read a word 40 times before it is committed to long term memory." He said, "Yeah, I read that too." I said, "It wasn't like that for me, Dan. I read a word once, and I knew it. I never had to have help with homework. I did not have to be 'worked' with. The teacher taught something to us. I got it. I thought learning was simple, I thought it was so easy to go to school......No wonder I loved school....it gave me so much self-esteem!"

Then it hit me......Griffin's struggle is finally giving me a look into what the other kids in my class, the ones who didn't like school, were going through. It makes me feel horrible. I now remember howI was not the nicest to those kids. I wasn't as accepting as I should have been because they were the kids who made the teacher frustrated. Who had to be taught something over and over and made some of the lessons not so much fun....Why can't they just get it?!

I'm finally seeing things from that side and it makes me feel horrible. I probably hurt the feelings of other kids, over and over while I was growing up. All because I did not understand that learning, the ability to learn "normally" and quickly, is not normal....that was a gift. And my being less than accepting of my classmates, now makes me feel horrible. I look into the eyes of my son and I think, "Who could be mean to you? You are so precious!" And now, in examining my past, I see my reflection in his eyes and it hurts. I was one of those kids. I was not a bully by any means. But unaccepting, definitely. Dismissive of those who had a harder time learning, absolutely. Gossipy about how "stupid" so and so was, yes.
Oh, I hate knowing now how much that potentially hurt my classmates.

This issue we have been struggling with, it has really pointed out my short-comings and my past hurts.....and I am greatly sorry.

I honestly did not think that I could have ever been remembered by anyone as being a mean kid. I wasn't cruel......but I was. I wasn't snobby........but I was.

Griffin is a beautiful child inside and out. He is perfect just the way God made him, and I know that. But, kids, kids don't know that. Kids only know he takes longer to "get" things than the rest of the class. And, that he's always talking, that's why he doesn't finish his work.
Don't get me wrong, according to his teacher, he is well accepted among his peers. But, we are in only the first part of his schooling. If he continues to drag the class down, he wil not be as well accepted. Kids will definitely start to notice that he is "different" and shy away from socializing with him.

That is how kids are, and I want to shelter my son from as much of that as I can.

So, now I am thinking about the future, even though I try to stop from thinking ahead. Not thinking of what's to come just seems impossible. I need to start preparing myself for what we might have to go through. I don't want to be blindsided. Having an action plan will make things easier, right?!
Yeah, well, that is when the worry begins. When you start thinking of the things that might need to happen, you start to realize they cost, and they take up a lot of time, and you think, "How will we be able to make these things happen and still keep everyone in the family united?"
Worry. Worry. Stress. Stress.
Now add your own hurt because you weren't the most accepting kid, so you feel the need to REALLY plan and do whatever you possibly can to make your child as inconspicuous as possible.
Worry. Worry. Stress. Stress. Cry. Worry. Stress. Cry. Cry. Cry.

I know that there are far bigger challenges out there others are facing. That does give me perspective. Yet, my emotions are still running amok. I'm a mother....I want to protect!
Which explains why I have sort of withdrawn a bit from the outside world, at least I think it does. I'm in preservation mode. I just want to preserve my family's "normalcy" for as long as I can. I know things are about to get even more chaotic, and I'm clinging to our final days.

Pray for us, y'all. Pray for me....I'm the one with the issues!! ha ha! But, tomorrow will be good. We need an answer. I hope Saturday will bring it. I pray they will give me a starting point.....we need one. And Griffin, he needs to feel like he IS smart...that learning CAN be fun....that reading on his own ISN'T impossible..... and, mostly, that his esteem CAN grow from school, not just sucked away when he enters the doors. Lots of prayer needed folks. Keep us on your list!

Love y'all!

Family

2009-10-06T12:33:00.003-05:00

I just don't know how to say it any better than this......I am one BLESSED chick!

A few weeks ago, I became overcome by sadness. I was missing my family! This past weekend, I got to see a good number of them, and I am back to HAPPY!

Being around my family rejuvenates me. It does. It feeds my esteem, and makes my life seem to make sense..... I make sense, you know?!?

These are the people whose influence made me want to be a mom.....who have cared for me unconditionally, and who keep me believing in myself. Even when I am not sitting in the "fan" box of my own life, they are in the stands cheering me on "You can do it!", "You're the greatest!", "We love you so much!"

Ahhhh, a cheering section! That's what I was missing!

Wouldn't it be great if every day as you walked around and made decisions, you had a group of loyal fans who walked along with you saying stuff like, "That's right, you did it! You made the coffee!" Creepy maybe, but hey, your fans love you! They think you are fantastic just the way you are.

That's what I was needing. That's why I went home.

If I could give every person one thing it wouldn't be money or a job or a better job it would be a supportive, loving, and hard-working family.

Where family isn't always people, it's also a place. A place where envy wishes it could come in, but where only acceptance and pride reside. Family is built on generosity and laughter fills its walls. Humility pours from the faucets, and patience illuminates its windows.

I grew up in this place.....this place called family. And everyday I try to recreate it here in my own neck of the woods. But, sometimes, the only way to really make sure you're building the same kind of dwelling in your own life, is to go back.

I love you family. Each and every single one of you. Thank you for renewing me. I am one BLESSED chick!!

Working Towards "It"........the "it" remains undetermined, HELP!

2009-09-11T09:33:00.013-05:00

It was the start of a new book in my Mother's Group at church. This book is a 13 week study, but really only has 11 weeks of material. The first week is supposed to be a week of "Getting to Know One Another." Most of us ladies are well acquainted, but ice-breakers can be fun! I went out on the web and found some pretty good questions.

One question was What one store is most represented in your wardrobe....ha ha most of us said Walmart! Then there was, What song best represents the '80's to you? Amy, who had this question said Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. they just a wanna, they just a wanna...Ah yes! Some of the rest of the class said, Pour Some Sugar On Me, and Like A Virgin. I personally thought Peter Gabriel's In Your Eye's (from the movie Say Anything) was the song that best defined the '80's for me. 'Course, that's probably because I was at that pubescent and romantic stage in life where the movie just seemed so dreamy! Someone who loves you and sees so much in your eyes! WOW! Oh, to be a tween-ager again.....please, oh please, I was kidding! I would never want to go back to that stage in life again.....yuck! Nauseated just thinking about it!

Okay, so the question I had, was the one question I wrote down thinking, "I hope I don't get this one." The question was, "What is your life long dream?" I opened this up and anxiety immediately set in! I don't have a lifelong dream! I knew I should have chosen that question about what kinds of things scream "nerd" to you? Sheeesh, does anyone really have a dream from the time they were a child til now? I guess probably Tiger Woods and other people of that sort whose gifts are shown to them at such an early age, but, seriously, does everyone but me have a lifelong dream? Tell me I'm not the only one!!

I was sitting there, and eventually all the questions had been read except mine. I had to read my question to the group and then come up with an answer.
I decided maybe I should say what my dreams are now.... Oh wait, do I have any dreams? Ummmm, No. Okay that idea is shot.
Did I used to have any dreams? Yes.
Do I think I would still like to actualize those? Ummm, no, not really. I mean Solid Gold went off the air years ago, so I doubt they are still looking for dancers :(

Okay, I was batting a thousand here. The only thing I could think of that was a dream, was to be a Mom. I kind of felt like that was a lame answer though, since I was meeting with a group of mothers and that's the one thing we all were! Doesn't sound too "dreamy" among that crowd.

I ended up saying, "Well, I always wanted to be a Mom. And now, here I sit, Mom to three. So, I did that. But, ummm, yeah, really, I cannot think of any life long dream I ever had for myself."

That just sounds pathetic, huh?!? Yeah, so, right now I want you to do something for me, make an L with your right hand, press it to your forehead, and in your best Ace Ventura voice, say, "Loooooo-Seeeerrrrr!" That is how I felt answering that question. I'm a tiny green pea in a world of enormous orange pumpkins....very insignificant, out of place, and odd, I felt.

It's not like I don't have goals. My goals just seem to be more on the short term and not on the large scale anymore. I rarely ever dream, and I never day-dream, or catch myself fantasizing about things not at all the same girl I was back when I was all goo-goo eyed over John Cusack in Say Anything when he stood in front of Ione Skye's window with the boom box lifted in the air, and Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes blasting out...maybe I could learn something from my tween-age years, after all. Maybe pick up a lost trait and bring it back to 30'something with me....hmmmmm, where do you find a time machine these days.....

I guess since growing up, I've become much more literal. What's realistic? What's tangible? Focus on the now, etc, etc. But I think I'd like to try being a little less here and now, and a little more when....

So, I'm on a mission: actualize a dream. Figure out what my lifelong, or maybe just from this point on, dream is and see myself realizing it.
I think I'll start with setting a goal. An attainable goal. Something that will get my feet wet. Been a long time since I set one of those.

Who wants to join me? Set a goal. Figure out what you want and aim for it. Just because I got the college degree, I got the man, I got the kids, I got the house, and I got the friends doesn't mean I should stop achieving, does it?!

Please leave me comments on this topic. Maybe they're your goals, or how you actualized your lifelong dream, or what you feel inspired to now strive for, etc.
I need support on this. I'm too good at adding myself in at the bottom of the list. I have to start figuring out how I can move up a notch or two and still maintain my other achievements. Your input would be lovely.
Here's to climbing :)

Not Lazy....Efficient!

2009-09-01T09:49:00.007-05:00

My friends, of more than two kids, and I like to say that we are "laid-back" parents. We joke about how one of our kids can fall off a two foot drop and as long as there was grass where they fell or something semi-soft, we'll just yell from where we stand, "You okay Buddy?"

There's no stop what you are doing to run out and see if they are okay. Nope, just a, "Brush it off. You're okay. That was a bad one, huh? Well, go get me a band-aid....and try not to bleed on the living room carpet."
Okay, that's a little bit of an exaggeration.....we no longer have carpet in our living room.

But, anyway, my point is this, once you have more kids than equals you plus your husband....or husband plus wife, which for most of us is two, unless you are one of those Pluralists, then, well, who knows, you might have to have 6 kids in order to gain more kids than you have wives, so if you are a Pluralist and you are reading this, I hope you're grateful that I included you in my equation. Back to the subject...once you have more kids than you are in sum total, in our case 2, then things that used to send you into a tizzy start to become less and less important, and sanity, enjoying the moment no matter how crazy and chaotic the environment is around you, start to win out.

I think before I had three kids I used to call this lazy. Yep, you heard it. Before I had three kids, if you were the type of parents who were like, "Hey, you, kid I can't remember the name of, get in here and eat your dinner." I would probably have thought, You know, they should really have approached the child. Putting yourself in their immediate space gets the child to do what is being asked, not yelling from another room. Gah! The audacity! Don't they watch SuperNanny? Get down to their level! That's what SuperNanny says!

Oh, I was a much better Mom before I had children, wasn't I?!

Now, you will find me on any given day yelling from the kitchen into the living room, "Hey, go get your shoes on like I asked you to 5 minutes ago, or I am going to hot glue them to your feet so you can't ever take them off!"
"What? You can't find them? Even more reason for the hot glue gun. Do you really need me to go down that road with you, son? Really, really? How 'bout getting off the couch and actually looking! Only then, will I maybe start helping you.....Can't find 'em? Well, when you don't actually lift yourself off of the couch how could you? Get up and look!" And, might I mention this is all done while not even actually seeing my son! I just KNOW what he is or isn't up to....mother's intuition, priceless!

Yelling through walls, this is how we of out-numbered status get things done. I cannot go with my son, holding his hand and stroking his ego so as not to stunt him emotionally, every time he needs to find his shoes. Can't do it. Not enough time in the day. Not enough of ME to go around. Sorry son, consider this an early lesson in independence.

But, as I have come to realize, this method for parenting is actually the better parenting method. Okay so I'm biased because it's how I roll, and if you disagree, well, start writing your own blog and maybe I will be a changed woman, maybe, probably not, but maybe.... The reason I say that my method is the better method of parenting is because it teaches children to self soothe. It teaches them to say to themselves, "Is this something I really should sit here and cry over or would that just be wasting my precious play time?" and "Mom doesn't drive herself batty trying to meet all my demands. She is here for me, but she's never going to do everything for me. Even though I beg!"

I call this being a non-s'mother'er. I mother, not smother. It may seem less loving to you, but I don't see it that way. I am so super limited on what I can do and how much time I can give to it, that I have to prioritize. Though, this does not mean that I always choose with precision, as my husband will attest. For example, I may start another load of laundry, while he is waiting in the air-doesn't-move attic on a smoldering hot day for me to help put stuff up and away, "Honey, I was waiting. Did you really have to get that laundry started this very second or could you have waited 5 minutes?"
"Ummmm, in my head, yes, yes, I really did. But, now I see what you mean....Ooops, Sorry! Need a block of ice?"

Yeah, so sometimes I mess up, well sue me, I'm human.

In being a non-s'mother'er with a laid-back parenting style, you can be mis-read. People will think you are lazy and uncaring. You don't jump to get your child what they need, you tell them where it is and how to get it....man, sooooo lazy!
You won't sign your kid up for every flavor of the week activity your child thinks he is going to just love doing, "Oh please, please, please! I always wanted to learn about bee-keeping! Please!"
"Not this time Sweetie, we need to see how this school year goes first, then we can start adding in activities, if our schedules will allow it. And I know, I know....I'm soooo MEEEEAN!!!"

When you parent in a laid-back sort of way, and allow your children to do for themselves, you really are teaching them to care for themselves.
You are saying to them, Mom's independence is necessary for this family to run smoothly, because if I am not sane, you won't have even half the things you have now.
You are saying to them, your independence is necessary. If you rely on me for all your "needs" then how will you ever grow in esteem for yourself?

I was raised in a large blended family. I felt many times that I was treated unfairly, and "If they really loved me they would let me..." But, what I now see is that family was always the center of importance in my rearing. Not me, but the family. Parents who made me do things for myself were not "lazy" but simply, great leaders and teachers who taught me esteem while making me do for myself. And generosity when asking me to take part in chores and family tasks.

Yeah, I'll take one of those "lazy" parents who allows their kids moments of independence and healthy risk opportunities, over a smother'er any day! Any other takers?

What a Lady!

2009-08-24T13:11:00.002-05:00

I was looking for something entirely different while out on the 'net Google-ing, and found this article. How funny!
First of all, she's in the age range of my Grannies, so I instantly like her.
Second of all, she's packin' heat so you'd better watch out....seriously, watch out! She ain't playin' when it comes to "Chariot"!
And, Lastly, did anyone catch that at 88 she drove from Orlando to Pennsylvania?! I had to Google that to find out the distance, and it doesn't specify where in Pennsylvania she went, but just putting in Orland to Pennsylvania got me a Google map with the mileage of 1,088miles! Good Gracious! To be 88 and drive your car over 2,000 miles round trip is just amazing! Doesn't say how many days it took her or if she drove the whole way, but it seems like she was at least IN the car for the entire ride. She wins a medal for that alone! 2,000 miles in a car, no matter how many days it takes, is a LONG trip for anyone! Let alone an 88 year old! My knees started to cramp, my hips started to ache, and my butt asked me to "Stand UP" just thinking about it!
Rachel Veitch, I like you!

Don't Forget My Aero-Plane!

2009-08-18T08:57:00.006-05:00

Grant's been talking about his birthday for about a month now. Every day he wakes up and says, "It's almost my birthday." And I tell him he's right....his birthday is just a few short weeks away.
About a week ago, I said maybe he would get an airplane for his birthday, since he was more than upset when Bubba got an airplane, and he didn't...why you ask? Well, because he said he wanted one, then decided he wanted a Super hero movie instead, sooooo, he changed his mind and was then remorseful about his decision. "That my aero-plane."
"No, Grant, that's Bubba's. You wanted the movie. Bubba got the airplane."
"Cuz that's mine! That's not Bubba's!"
"It is Bubba's. Maybe you can get an airplane for your birthday....maybe someone will get you an airplane for your birthday in a couple of weeks."
"That's right! I get a hopa-doctor and a aero-plane and a koh-toe-kye-cle fo my birthday?"
"Um, well, maybe an airplane. But, you think you'll get a helicopter, and a motorcycle, too?!
"Uh-Huh!!"
"Okay, well you never know! You might get at least one of those!"
"That's right Momma. I get all those fo my birthday. Bubba not get any."
"Not on your birthday, you're right. He won't get any of those on your birthday."

So, since then, every day, he wakes up and tells me about how it is almost his birthday and how he is going to get a koh-toe-kye-cle an aero-plane and a hopa-doctor on his birthday!

It is now my mission to make sure that he gets at least one of those or there is going to be a complete meltdown on his day!

Our neighbor's boy has this Batman Imaginext BatCave....it comes with a Batman, Robin, and a koh-toe-kye-cle. For an additional $12 you can get this hopa-doctor. Thinking our little man would not constantly ask to go see our neighbor Kyle if he, too, had one of these!

Now, this brings up the question....how much do you spend on birthday gifts for your own kids? What do you think is reasonable? I am not big into the whole "party" idea for kids Grant's age. I feel like if he won't really remember it, why bother? What he will remember is a gathering of people who love him. Which is why I usually just have a barbecue and invite over a bunch of our friends and their kids. That feels more appropriate to me. And, it's not about the gifts either. I tell everyone invited not to bring a gift. We just want Grant to have friends to play with....that's what makes a party fun, right?! Friends!
What he should take away from "his day" is that people who love him got together to celebrate and show him how much he is loved with their presence, not their presents.

But, as Mom and Dad we will be gifting him. Gotta make at least one of his wishes come true! So, that got me wondering how much other people gift? Do you have a standard set amount? Or do you have a rule about the kinds of gifts you give your kids, etc?

I have a couple of standards:
Baby Showers...diapers, wipes, baby necessities, all packaged in a small-ish Rubbermaid tote. I give it in the tote because with babies they are constantly growing out of clothes and growing into other sizes, etc. Having an extra tote makes it easy to store future outfits, or put away too small ones to then hand-down to someone else, or store away for the next baby! Such a useful gift, if you ask me! 'Course I am VERY practical!

Kid's Birthday Party.....I usually try to give clothing or books or something other than toys. As a parent of three, I know how much kids LOVE getting toys, but also how disrespectful to them they can be when they have too many! And, we have a standard set dollar amount on what we give for each event. That way I know I am always being fair, and too, it pushes me to be more creative! :)

So, as I was taking my ideas for gifts, etc, into consideration, I was wondering if others of you had standards or rules or limits, etc. Let me know.....I'm always interested in the ways others govern their families, children, homes, etc.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2009-08-17T09:28:00.004-05:00

Funny things from the weekend:

Grant and Griffin were laying in our bed on Sunday both being told to take naps. Well, I could hear them in there messin' with each other, but figured I would just let it continue until it got above a certain decibel. A few minutes pass and here comes Griffin. "I just can't get any rest."
I say, "Well, I can hear you in there with your brother messin' around, so I'm sure that's why you can't get any rest." He says, "Well, he's just in there slapping me in the face and pulling my hair." I said, "Well, when it started were you laughing about it?" He says, "Yeah, but then he pulled my hair and it really hurt." I said, "Well, you maybe should just go sleep in your own bed then." He says, "Grant shouldn't be pullin' people's hair....my head really hurts."

"Okay, Honey. I hear ya. Just go lay down in your bed."

Griffin goes away and comes back in the living room...."Son, I told you to go to lay down."

"I know Mom, but here's what Grant did. See my hair?"

He hands me a chunk, and I mean a CHUNK, of hair that I half-way expected to have scalp attached to it! Holy cow! I had no idea someone could pull that much hair out of another person's head! Let alone a not-even 3 year old!

So, we marched back into my bedroom and I said, "Grant. You pulled this hair out of Bubba's head. We don't do that! We don't pull hair......that really hurt Bubba!"

Grant says, "Cuz, we fight. Bubba want to fight. We fight Momma."

"No, you lay down. Momma will lay down with you. Want me to lay down between you two Griffin?"

"Yeah"

"Okay. I will."

"Mom."

"Yes baby."

"Be careful, Mom. He might pull your hair out, too."

"I appreciate that. Hopefully he knows better than to do that to me." Have to say, I was a tad nervous....

Later that day......

Driving to run some errands....all the kids in the van, Dan driving, the Black Eyed Peas singing Boom Boom Pow on our stereo......all the kids and Mom dancing in our seats. Song ends. Griffin says, "Can you play that again?" Dan says, "It's the radio Buddy they can play anything." Griffin says, "Well, can you play another song like that?" We find another station playin' Low by Flo-Rida....Griffin's in the back mouthing Low, Low Low, Momma's up front dancing around, doing the shoulder-shimmy, Wyatt is pumping his fist in the air, and Grant is rocking side to side. I look at Dan and say, "I wonder how many other white families drive down the road listening to Hip-Hop with their whole white-as-they get, Aryan-looking boys dancing like they were all part of America's Best Dance Crew?" Good Times!!!

We were leaving Target, two carts, three kids, and a few bags. Dan put Wyatt in the van, I was putting the bags in the back, and Griffin was moving his cart into the cart corral....with Grant still in it. Griffin gets in the van and says, "Listen to Grant......He's yelling 'ayudame' like on Dora." Dan says, "Where is he?" Griffin, "In the cart...he needs help getting out." Too much to expect Griffin to help his hair-pulling brother out of it, huh?....
Being that we were parked right next to the cart corral, we pop our heads out of the van to hear Grant yelling, "Help Me! Help Me! Ayudame!" Had me in tears! So funny! Any Spanish speaker in the general vicinity would have been proud of his inflections too, very authentic! ha ha ha!

And let's not forget, Wyatt tried to sit on Gracie (our neighbor baby)'s face. Threw a fit because I was holding said baby, and has decided that our neighborhood belongs to him. When following him on his trek through HIS 'hood, he gets HIGHLY perturbed! Will turn around and screech at me while pointing his finger....."Back off lady!!" He's BOSSY that one!

Busy weekend, but fun....how could it not be with those three?!

Truly: THE BEST WEDDING ENTRANCE EVER!

2009-07-23T12:18:00.004-05:00

Okay....one last post before I leave for vacation......oh my gosh this is too amazing!
Thanks Rachel for forwarding this to me!
It made me BAWL like a baby! Most of you probably won't. This is ME we are talking about! But for me it just illustrated how much these friends and family members must totally love the bride and groom!
And to be that happy! And to get everyone in the church THAT happy, WOW!!!!
Which is why I cried.....I love it!
So, watch this fantastic video and feel what I felt, if even just a little.....Bravo Jill and Kevin for making your wedding day that AWESOME!!!

What Did Jesus Look Like?

2009-07-22T08:42:00.013-05:00

I'm trying to remember how this conversation started....

Okay, it was raining yesterday and I was driving Griffin home from his tutor.

Griffin: "It's raining. It's like God is taking a shower."

Me: "That's funny! Where'd you here that from, Honey?"

Griffin: "It's in the Bible...it's a Bible verse."

Me: "Oh it is, huh? Hmmmm, I never heard that one. I'm glad you told me."

Then I started thinking about something we were talking about in our Sunday School Class. So I said....

Me: "So, you think God takes showers? What do you think, then, that God looks like?"

Griffin: "Oh, he has long hair. And he wears a blue...ummmm...."

Me: "Robe?"

Griffin: "Yeah, a robe. It's blue. And he wears black sandals. Oh, and his hair is brown. And he sits in a chair in Heaven."

Me: "Well, then, what do you think Jesus looks like?"

Griffin: "Oh, Jesus? Oh, well, he's got shorter hair. And he wears a red robe, and black sandals. And his hair is brown and he's peach."

Me: "Peach. You think Jesus is peach?"

Griffin: "Yeah. What do you think God and Jesus looks like?"

Me: "Well, I really have no idea what God looks like. None. But, Jesus. Well, we know that he was Middle Eastern. So, I would guess he was more brown than peach."

Griffin: "Huh. Well, I guess we'll find out when we go to Heaven. We'll meet 'em then! What do you think Heaven looks like?"

Me: "I think it is probably the most beautiful place we will have ever laid our eyes on."

Griffin: "Yeah. I think so too. And I think it is probably sparkly."

Me: "Me too! Definitely sparkly!"

And that was that. Almost made me flat out cry. Tears did well-up in my eyes. But I held them back. What an amazing child he is.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something I have really been thinking about lately is concepts. Because from concepts we then build beliefs. If my concept of the church is that it is filled with hypocrites then my belief might be that religion is not important....finding a church is not impactful to me. I don't need church in my life.

If I conceptualize Jesus as a man, then don't I forget that he was once a baby, a child, a teenager, a young adult, and THEN a man. I mean think about it....surely as a child growing up he would have gotten hurt both physically and emotionally. Surely he had sadness in his life for which he would have to come to grips with. Looking at his life from the awkwardness of youth, maybe he even had bad acne at one time, and lips his face had to grow into. Who knows! But he was a teenager and he was human! What a concept, huh?! Imperfection. Even God would have allowed for these things to occur. He would need to limit His role in the life of His son so that Jesus could have a fully human experience. Interesting concept, isn't it?

Now, when you pray, do you visualize a picture of God? Do you visualize a picture of Jesus? And if so, what do you picture them like? Speaking of just Jesus....what sort of Jesus do you envision? Is it Jesus the carpenter? Jesus the teacher ministering to his flock? Or Jesus in his death as he hangs from the cross?

I find it really funny that I have never thought of Jesus as a baby! At least not really. I have always visualized him in my prayers at the age of his death. As a man. This concept of Jesus as a baby reminded me of the movie Talladega Nights. The main character Ricky Bobby is over and over again praying to "Dear Lord Baby Jesus".......so funny! Cracked me up each time he did this!! At one point in the movie, there's a scene where someone at the dinner table says to him, "He was a man! He had a beard!" And Ricky Bobby says, "I like the baby version the best!"

But he was a baby! He was a toddler. He was a young child. Oh my gosh! He was totally human in every way! He grew in the same ways that we all do. He didn't just come out a baby and then in ten years become a man, freakishly dispalying the fact that he was maybe "not of this world". No, he grew in every way that we do. The only oddity of his birth was that his mother immaculately conceived him. But Joseph was no less his earthly teacher and father. And no less proud of Jesus in his every endeavor. Yet, I'm sure Joseph was also no less admonishing of him each time he did something "dangerous" or "without thinking" for Joseph was human too.

Jesus was not privileged, at least not in the way we typically use the word. No, he didn't grow up in wealth. He didn't grow up in a metropolis. He didn't grow up with the famous. He grew up, seemingly insignificantly. And, yet, He changed our world forever.

These realities have really helped me, lately. Knowing that when I see my role as insignificant, I am wrong. When I see the children within my reach as normal and regular, I am wrong. When I see the people I come into contact with as purposeless and without bearing on myself or my family or my world, I am wrong.

Jesus was an infant, a boy, and a man. Every experience he had in life, and every person he encountered in his upbringing molded him and brought him to his destiny. Oh how it must have felt to have been his neighbor. To see how he changed the world. And to be able to say, "I knew that man when he was just a boy!"

But the concept hasn't changed. We make an impact on everyone around us. From our peers, to the kids our kids interact with, to our co-workers.....everyone. And the concept that we are all creating a history not only for ourselves but for everyone we come in contact with, is wow, monumental! And it started with us when we were babies.

Conceptualize with me this world: every person around me has value and is worthy of Me at my best. Not to say you are not allowed to have moods other than happiness. But, what if.....what if you decided that just as Jesus wasn't always a man, neither were we. If you have wrongs that were done to you in your past....make peace with them. If there are people in your life who are hurting you with their words or actions, while you hide behind "acceptance", get honest with them.

Conceptualize one last thing......You are at peace. The people who have wronged you have been forgiven, and don't forget forgiveness does not mean you condone their actions. The hurting that others continue doing to you has been brought to them. And their decision to either correct or continue behaviors has either kept them in your life or has cut them out of your life, but you are at peace.

If I conceptualize a world where my mark IS a lasting one then all of a sudden I understand relationships and their value. I understand healing. I understand forgiveness. I understand the need for the community of church in my life and I feel happiness. The question is, are you deserving of that concept?

Dinner Tonight!

2009-07-17T12:44:00.016-05:00

This is the Archer Farms California Chicken Salad that is sold in the refrigerated deli section of Target stores across the country. I first had this salad a few months ago, and I now eat this salad about once every couple of weeks....I LOVE IT!!!

It's a really simple salad....really simple. But the flavors are AMAZING!!! So, of course, you know me I make it for myself now! Thanks Archer Farms!

We're having company for dinner tonight and this salad is what I will be serving! The boys will probably not eat it....looks like hot dogs for them! Thought I would share the ingredients with all of you because you just really should try this salad! YUMMMMM!

California Chicken Salad

Romaine Lettuce

Dried Cherries

Feta Cheese crumbles

Walnuts

Grilled Chicken (or baked, or chicken nuggets you've zapped in the microwave, whatever, just some sort of chicken)

Poppy Seed Dressing (tonight we will be using Sweet Vidalia Onion Dressing that I bought a gallon of at Sam's, or close to it....but it IS completely delicious and probably will not last long in our house!)

Just combine all the ingredients and enjoy!

I will be serving ours with a nice white wine and a loaf of toasty hot french bread.....mmmmm...

C'mon Over! I bought ALL of the ingredients at Sam's so you know I have plenty!! :)

Daddy's Boy

2009-07-15T07:38:00.003-05:00

Why Wyatt is exactly his father.

1) He looks exactly like him.....I mean identical....except for the blond hair...he is a mini-me, er Mini-Dan, I mean! :)

2) He can be so serious. I need to get a picture to add to this post so you can see side by side how they both furrow their brows. Just know that in a 1 year old, a furrowed brow is HIGHLY comical!

3) Ice Cream. Last night I let him have some ice cream. And might I state for the record that he would not let me feed him. WOULD NOT! I was not allowed to hold the spoon at all.....I practically couldn't even look at it! He'd watch me, if I touched the spoon he would shake his head vigourously back and forth a hundred times saying "No No No" the whole time. If I left the spoon alone but watched him he would point his finger at me and say "No, No, No"....and when I left him alone with the bowl, he got frustrated with the spoon, used his hands and then, finally, drank the ice cream from the bowl....his forehead, cheeks, nose, chin, tummy, and mouth were ice cream coated...but he was in heaven! Just as his father is when he eats ice cream! (Though Dan is slightly less messy......slightly.)

4) Sweaty. This kid sweats. It is not a little glistening on the forehead or skin that is a tad bit clammy....no, he is like soaking wet hair, skin slick with perspiration, and harder to hold onto than a greased pig! When he gets like this, if he falls down on the floor, he'll get up and have stuff stuck to his sweaty legs and belly. It's like, "Oops! How'd that happen? Oh, hey, I found this Cheerio for you!" Not going to say Dan has ever had Cheerio's stuck to him after laying on the floor (though he probably has, he's just never offered me one) but that guy is sweaty! Not stinky sweaty though. That would be hard to live with....No, just sweaty, lots of sweat, sweaty! And so is Wyatt. Two peas in one sweaty pod!

5) Lastly, he's a night owl! This is something he without a doubt 100% gets from his father! It's like he gets a second wind around 7:30-8:00 when I am trying to wind him down he is winding up! Last night I spent an hour and a half rocking him trying to get him settled. Only to have his Dad walk in the door at 8:45 and Wyatt to leap from my arms...."It's on!" That hour plus of togetherness was just a farce! He was just pacifying me! "Yeah, I'll sit here quietly, but I'm just resting up...that second wind is comin'!" He and his Dad had a sandwich together, ate some chips, played on the floor, etc. Then, Dan and I spent the better part of an hour watching him do this Michael Flattley Lord of the Dance move while spinning himself silly, over and over again! HUH-LARRY-US!!!! I fell asleep at 10:30....there's no telling what time he finally did. But Daddy was awake....he put him to sleep. Daddy's always awake longer than Mommie.....thus Wyatt is just like his Dad!

I know there are definite characteristics that Wyatt gets from me like some of his silliness and his love for dancing......but, truly, Wyatt is his Daddy's boy!

If I Only Had An "S"

2009-07-09T08:39:00.007-05:00

Desert....Dessert
Fast....Feast

Only a single letter makes them completely different words...opposites if you will.

To fast, to go without food. To feast, to openly engorge in it.
Desert a barren waste land....rich of nothing. Dessert an oppulent treat at the end of a meal....extra.

You know I like to think of dessert as extra because a dessert isn't necessary. Dinner yes. Food to sustain me, yes. Dessert, an indulgence!

But how strange, how curious that the two are just one letter away. Desert is one 's' away from richness. Barren and desolate....but if I just had one more 's' I could be something else all together!

I started thinking about these words in my Esther class. When Beth Moore asks us students if anyone had noticed the contrasts between feasting and fasting. In the first part of this book of the bible, everyone is feasting. And even the day that the King's edict is sent out is a day of feasts for the Jews. The exact day this doctrine goes out, is the Jewish day of Passover. The largest and most celebrated holiday in their community....a day of feasting. On that day, Esther asks that all the Jews of Susa gather and fast for 3 days and 3 nights. On this day of feasts, she asks them to fast. I wonder how many Jews were thinking, "We were supposed to be feasting, not fasting!" Wow. They were just one letter away!

You have to really wonder. You have to wonder how many times we see our lives as just one second away from greatness...or one swing away from champions...or one chromosone away from perfection. And we mull it over. Over and over....."What could have been!?!"
But here is my question for you......Why isn't the reality we are given perfection?
Why do you think that these lessons in perceived failure aren't your perfect life?

We are each given a life of imperfection. That is a known going into the world. Hang-up your thoughts of Prince Charming and Cinderella....they do not exist. We are all imperfect. Beautifully! I bet there is not even one of us who would disagree. But, how much do you really allow yourself to believe? Or better yet, how often do you thank God for the desert and not the dessert?
Isn't a dessert extra anyway?

Just some thoughts....hope those of us out there yearning for that 's' might start realizing that deserts are a gift too. Happy Thursday!

Grant

2009-07-02T12:58:00.011-05:00

Grant has a recent obsession....Well, maybe obsession is not the right word....serious interest, is probably better. Grant has a serious interest in BOOBS, lately.

His boobs, your boobs, his brothers' boobs, his dad's boobs, my bras, everything about boobs is just fascinating to him!

Several weeks ago, we were at the pool with some friends. I was in line for a snow cone with Grant and our friend's little girl. Grant turns around and says, "See my boobies?!" to the little girl with us.
She looks at him like, "Super...yeah, I see them, super great....where's my snow cone?!"
When she doesn't respond, he gets even closer to her and while pushing in his nipples with the index finger of each hand he says, "See um? See my bobbies???"
He does this three times! I say to him on the second, "Grant, yes, we see your boobies...quit it!!"
Third time comes....."See my boobies? You see um?"
The little girl, you can see, is thinking, He is not going to leave me alone about these boobies until I acknowledge him. So, she says, "Yeah...I see um."
Grant grins from ear to ear, like, "Yeah, that's right! I have boobies!!!"

In the middle of the night two nights ago, Grant wakes up and is making a HUGE fuss! And as we all know, Grant was not given the quiet gene. He is dialed into only Loud and LOUDER!!!

So, because I wish to get some rest out of this evening, I scoot little loud-mouth from his room where we leave a still sleeping, Thank God, Wyatt to rest peacefully.

I take Grant into our bed and we go back to sleep. In the morning he wakes up, and dashes from my bed......only to run down the hall and scream, "WYATT!!! You 'WAKE?!?!"

"MOMMMM! WYATT WAKE UP!! HE WAKED UP!!!"
He sure did! Couldn't have anything to do with all the yelling, could it?!

I gather up Wyatt and scootch them both into the kitchen where I set them at the table and fix their cereal. Yes that's right, scootch, I'm sure it's a word, I use it all the time! Thus, it's a word! After I get them settled, I jump into the shower, jump out of the shower, run down the hallway, dress for the day like I was in a race, and within 10 minutes from my kitchen departure, I'm back.

Entering the kitchen Grant gives me a very perplexed look.
"Momma.....You got your boobies?"
"Yes, honey...yes, I have my boobies."
"Momma. No, I go get your boobies!"
Me not understanding.... "What? Honey, what? Yes, of course I already have my boobies...right here, can't take 'em off." Though, at times I realize it looks as if they aren't there because they are slowly disappearing off of my body....I swear I DID have boobs at one time...I did! Promise!
Grant just looks at me and says, "No, I go get your boobies!"

With that, he runs into our bedroom and over to my side of the bed. I find him there desperately searching for something.
That's when I realize I had taken my bra off and laid it on the chair next to my bed the night before. Grant must've noticed it there when he got out of our bed this morning before running down the hallway bellerin' for Wyatt.

I say to him, "Oh, honey....were you looking for Mommy's bra? Mommy has it on already."
"No you don't!"
"Yes, yes I do!"
"No you not! It was right here!"
You know what's coming next, right?! I have to convince him that I have it, right?! So, I lift my shirt up to show him that I do indeed have the bra on.
As he sees it on me, you see the tension noticeably melt from his shoulders.
"Ahhh, there's your boobies! Right there!"

Now, this morning, Grant wakes up from his bed and is standing in the hallway, "Momma! I wake up!!!!! MOMMA!!!!"
"Okay, Grant, Okay, here I come....hush baby! Hush, you're going to wake up Wyatt!'

Now, after I get him settled in to watch Batman....I jump in the shower. 'Nother quick one, because just like I can't trust he and his brother at the kitchen table by themselves, I also cannot trust Grant up in the living room by himself. It's quite normal to be in the shower for all of 2 minutes when you hear the slamming of the bathroom door opening and a little boy yelling, "Momma! Wyatt just WAKE UP!" And in the background Wyatt's wailing away! Why?! ....hmm.... I wonder....Oh, probably because his brother went in their room and scared the dickens out of him by yelling, "WAKE UP WYATT!!!!"

But, this morning, all was well, no screaming baby and no screaming Grant...Grant was just amusing himself in the recliner by putting his feet where his head should be while rocking in the chair...big shock, I know, Grant rocking!!
Anyway, just as soon as he sees me he says, "You got your boobies?"
"Yes honey, I got 'em"
"Momma, I got no shirt...you see my bobbies? My boobies right here!" as he points to his chest.
"Yep! I see um!"
"Momma! I go get your boobies!!"
And, off he darts down the hallway, around to my side of the bed, and sure enough, there is my bra sitting on the chair (I guess I'm a creature of habit). He hands me my bra, and says, "Momma, put on your boobies!"
This might not seem like a big deal, but I'm just from the shower...and I'm not the most comfortable in my own skin!!! Clothing...I'm comfortable in CLOTHING! But, I feel like, okay, he is 2 and he has no understanding of sexuality or anything at this point, so, geesh, put the bra on Carrie!
I oblige him and put the bra on.
He just smiles so satisfactorily and says, "Now Momma, you wear your boobies all day!"
"Okay honey...Mommy will!"
To which he then runs off down the hall holding his own boobies in opposing hands.

What am I gonna do with this boy?!?!?

On This Day In History

2009-06-30T09:42:00.003-05:00

On this day in History:

1934: The NFL's Portsmouth Spartans become the Detroit Lions

1936: The 40-hour work week law is approved

1955: "Johnny Carson Show" debuts on CBS

1971: Ohio becomes 38th state to approve the lowered voting age of 18, thus ratifying the 26th amendment

1975: Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Heavyweight boxer Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Bugner in a 15 round unanimous decision fight (marking Ali's 48th career win)

And, most importantly, but with less significance in your look-up of "History Making Dates" a little boy is born to anxious and gleefully awaiting parents. He's over 9 lbs and healthy as an Ox! He comes into the world without the knowledge of his future, but he already has purpose. In his first few hours of life, love takes root in a way no other bond can as he suckles from the breast of his mother while the worries of Mother and Father are laid to rest as they see now that their prayers have been answered.

This baby will grow into a young lad filled with dreams and beliefs of things we know as adults to be impossible, but in our pre-school years seem totally and utterly within reach.

He will meet and exceed the expectations of his parents as God keeps blessing them year after year with the exuberant life that breathes from this boy.

His growing-up will bring him many places.....but the one I'm so selfishly grateful for is into the town of Jonesboro, Arkansas. Where he'll meet the girl whom he'll spend the rest of his life with.

Upon their meeting, she will remember thinking, "Is there more to this than chance?"

By far there is more to their meeting than chance. And, God will unite this boy and girl in matrimony, gracing their union with the birth of three marvelous little boys.

This boy is now a man, this day 33. Bringing joy, still, to the man and woman whose lives together as parents began at his birth. Bringing laughs, and smiles of appreciation, still, from a sister who has always looked up to her big brother. And, still, forming upward turned creases in the lips of his little men as he simply walks into the room.

Another year is here. Another anniversary of your birth. And you're STILL my comfort, my love, and my rock. I love you so much! Happy Birthday!

Behavior: Hard-ly My Fault, Right?

2009-06-25T07:53:00.005-05:00

People are always asking me if it is hard to work a full-time job, raise three kids, be a wife, and a maid, and a short-order cook, and a party planner, and a, and a, and, and, and......

I have always looked at the person saying this and said, "Yes, it is hard....so hard, but I love my family and I will do what I need to do to make it all work." Now, let me add, what I don't say, "But not without complaining about it!"

I decided just the other day that I am going to change my vocabulary. I am going to take the word H-A-R-D out of my language not going to let it live in my head anymore. Nope...changing the word to C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-I-N-G. Because hard makes it sound like I am unhappy with my "work", or it can imply that I expect pity, because "Oh, it's just so hard!"

When Griffin and I are working on his words and letters and all the nerdy sort of booky-things I love and he hates, the one thing he will tell me over and over is "This is too hard!"

Dan and I were at Sonic a few days ago when he pointed something out to me. I was sitting there watching these Car Hops roller skating all around and it was scaring me! I said to Dan, "This girl is freaking me out on these skates. She could get hit by a car so easily!"

Dan laughed and said, "If it weren't you sitting next to me, I would have sworn it was Griffin who just said that."

"Oh, I just sounded like Griffin huh....hmm, yeah I guess I did."

But, the truth is....He sounds like ME!

So, where does he get this, "It's too hard...I can't.....I never get to do what I want!" Where...hmm.....ME! The light bulb went off and I saw that anti-drug PSA from years back where the kid says, "I learned it by watching you!"

What I am putting-out....it's coming back to me. And here's something I know to be true, and something for which I have really been working on. When I am around people who are being negative, I will try very hard to stay on the high-ground, but, before I know it, I'm down in the muck, wallowing around with them. I'm reflecting their emotions. I'm emulating them.

It's like this....someone, maybe your husband, is upset with you. He says something like this, "Yeah, you know, you complain about cleaning but you aren't doing it every day. Just look around. Doesn't seem like you are keeping up very well." Okay.....most of us would launch into a tirade of, "Oh, yeah, you think it looks bad NOW....I can get it looking even worse. Want me to stop trying all together. Oh, and by the way, what are YOU doing to keep up around here?" etc, etc, etc.

Yipes! Talk about emulating! So, what if we did this instead, "I'm sorry. I suppose that complaining can get pretty old. Next time I am complaining, could we try this....put your hands on my shoulders, look me in the eyes and reassure me that Rome wasn't built in a day. Then, if you would, this will sound weird, but could you give me a compliment? You see, I'm trying really hard to turn off those negative, "This is too HARD!", voices and when I'm getting into that mode, I really think a compliment would help."

Wouldn't that take this obvious "fight" situation to a different place? Instead of you or I putting our gloves up in the air and readying ourselves for 12 rounds, we are taking the gloves off and giving our "opponent" a hug....a big bear hug! Saying, "I am so sorry you are frustrated....I get that way too....Let me help you"

That's what I need to do. My boys are the eyes and ears of what I am putting out into the world. And though they can be the sweetest, kindest, most loving children at times.....They can also be self-defeators, know-it-alls, and nothing-nice-to-sayers.

Gotta look in the mirror and see myself as the root of those too. Yeah, that's a hard image to see looking back, but it's mine. I'm the one who modeled that behavior, therefore "they learned it by watching me!"

I'm moving Hard into the storage closest. In it's place Challenging. I am taking the positive traits, what I see in myself, what I see in my kids, I am taking those positive characteristics and I'm amplifying them. No more, self-defeating, no more know-it-all (this will be difficult, I DO know a lot, but better to say, "I thought...", instead of "You said...." sounds so much nicer, huh?), and no more complaining! Letting words escape my mouth that will have a negative impact on what I want my kids to learn only makes parenting that much more CHALLENGING! See, I'm working on it!!!

Friends

2009-06-22T07:56:00.003-05:00

Friends....do you ever wonder how you became friends with someone...who initiated the contact, why you were "attracted" to this individual or was it just through circumstances that a friendship ensued.
Friends are so much different than family. As the saying goes, "You can't choose family". Which doesn't mean you can't be friends with your family members. In fact, two of my closest girlfriends are my cousins. Thick and thin, we've been through it all, and I would not be the same person without them. Love you Cori and Molly!

I was reminded of how great it is to have "old friends" when my sister in law posted on her Facebook status that she had just gone to dinner with one of her oldest and dearest friends. It got me thinking. Old friends are such a treasure. Someone who has shared the stories of your life...the good, the bad...the ugly (me from about age 9 to maybe 17...Can we say HUMONGOUS glasses, TINY nose!) Now, as I sit back and look at old pictures, I laugh. I'm no longer that self-esteem lacking, attention craving, talks a mile a minute (okay maybe I still have a touch of this one) girl. But, weren't we all something we're not, today? I mean, we can't be the Varsity Football Team Captain forever. Our lives evolve. Some friendships last and others fade away. New friendships develop and some dissolve. Sometimes friendships even renew!
But one thing that is constant is our need for friends. Our need to find and align ourselves with people we "see ourselves" in. How lucky I feel to have cast out my seeds only to have, now, a garden full of friends. Blessed and Graced I am.

To me the most interesting of all these types of friendships is new friends. New friends are an end result of all the years of work and support you have had from your "old friends" and family. Whom you end up aligning yourself with in the "now" is a direct result of whom you aligned yourself with previously.
I had a friend tell me one time, this was a friend of many years, a best friend, that she could no longer be my friend. She was battling a lot of things, but the biggest was her propensity for following and getting herself into trouble and vowing her loyalty to the wrong kind of people. These "friends" she had made while I had moved away were dragging her down into the gutter and because of her need for approval, she loyally followed them. The counselor she was seeing told her she needed to set her friendship standards higher and start finding friends she wished she could be more like, not friends she thought she was like. Obviously, this advice did not take into account the possibility of my friend having one friend who wasn't a bad influence. But, I get it. And that WAS excellent advice.
Sometimes your life needs a shake up! Turn it on it's head and say, "I'm not willing to do this any more! I deserve better!"
I still mourn the loss of that friendship...but what I don't think I realized til now, was that in losing that friend, I had to move-on and grow myself...in ways I might not have had we continued in our friendship.

That loss forced me to really go out and try to connect with others. I, too, needed to find friends I wanted to be like, and maybe stop trying to find people I already thought I was like. I had a lifelong friendship vanish....but my life wasn't over.
I guess I did exactly what she did...I started anew. And it has been good for me, GREAT for me actually! I still have friendships from the past, those will stay near and dear to my heart for as long as blood pumps through my veins. But, now I know that I can venture out of my comfort zone and into new realms, realms that I previously felt I was unworthy of entering. "I'm not that kind of person", "I'm really not knowledgeable enough to join that group", "I'm soooo not what they REALLY want in a member", etc.
Now, now, I see that I am. We all are. Friendships start with a warm smile and a heart-felt "Hello!" With giving and expecting nothing in return....with sharing and accepting that your story is a part of who you are and what amazing lives we have all lived! New friends are a product of all those old relationships, good and bad. New friends are abundant, you just have to accept that you deserve them and the doors will open!

Wyatt's In LOVE!

2009-06-15T12:52:00.008-05:00

Edit: Finally, I have good pictures of the S'mores love-a-thon...please scroll through and check him out!

You just have to see these blurry camera-phone pictures of Wyatt. I wish they had turned out better, but, oh well, they still convey the HILARITY of my littlest boy...Wyatt will just absolutely crack you up! He has to be one of the funniest little characters I know!

'Course, he does have two older brothers who have been known to be comedians as well!

Here's the situation:

We went over to a friend's house. I remembered I had bought the items needed to make S'mores and decided the kids would enjoy that. Even though we were not having a bonfire to roast the marshmallows on (and that really IS why S'mores are fun) I figured we could do them in the microwave and the kids would enjoy that too.......

Well, one of the little ones left their S'mores plate within reach of lil' ol' Wyatt and let's just say he was in LOVE!!!

Here are some photos of the love-fest:

Oh, Mi Amor, How I love you! Je T'adore... mmwah, mmwah, mmwah

I just can't keep my hands off!

Or, my face!

Something tells me this will be a relationship that lasts....at least until my Momma hoses me down and bathes me in Goo Be Gone, but Oh How I will cherish this moment!

He was so STICKY and so Chocolatey! But seeing him fall in love with a S'more was well worth the cleaning effort!

I could be the next Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!

Inspiration

2009-06-11T07:40:00.003-05:00

Inspired-outstanding or brilliant in a way or to a degree suggestive of divine inspiration.
Inspiration-a) a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation b) the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions.

When was the last time you felt inspired? When was the last time your marrow felt inspiration from on-high? The word of God breathing down upon you and the Holy Spirit filling you with a joy you feel from your fingertips to your toes.......

All I have to say is Beth Moore! If you take one of her bible studies, or if you ever have the opportunity to see her live (I am going to get my ticket to see her here in Memphis on October 9th....let me know if any of you would like to go as well!) You will find yourself reaching into parts of your being that haven't been delved into before. You will find yourself joyous, happier than you may have ever been because God is working here on Earth, now! Through people like Beth Moore.

I am taking the Beth Moore Esther Study and I can say one thing for sure.....I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting this inspiration to come from this study. I wasn't expecting this joy to come from this study. I wasn't expecting this nodding my head, "I know where you are coming from and sister I know where you have been" to come from this study.

I am SO in the right place right now....God knew what he was doing! I actually said to a friend that I thought this was going to be a good class, but I didn't think that I was going to get as much from this as some of the ladies, because I am feeling pretty confident about my place in this world. WOW! I really wasn't thinking about a lot of things, like: Inspiration....learning and growing and feeding my soul what it needs to be inspired and to keep being inspired. Connections....new bonds that are forming as I sit there and take in Beth's lessons with these wonderful and different ladies. History......I didn't know that subconsciously I was feeling like the Bible was a story and not HISTORY, mine, yours, ours! HISTORY, and God has got to love us to bring us through all that happened in the Bible, right?! And, God has got to love us to bring us through our own tales, too. We've got some stories to tell, don't we?

Beth Moore said this last night, and it has been ringing in my ears and has had me joyfully smiling and unwittingly crying ever since, "You cannot amputate your history from your destiny." Let me say that again, "You cannot amputate your history from your destiny."
Can I get an AMEN?! WOW! And in Beth Moore style look at the person next to you and say, "It's what got you HERE!"

WOW, Beth Moore, WOW. You are inspiring and I am ever grateful for your ministry!

Oh, and let me also add, that I would not be able to take this class without the willingness of my friend Leanne to lead it......You are my soul's sister, I love you, Thank You!

And, lastly, I would not be able to take this class without the support of my amazing husband! God has gifted me Honey...I know I don't always make you feel that way, but he has! I love you more and more each day! I'm entirely too lucky to have you and to have this life I get to share with you. How blessed I am!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

What's Wrong With Bikini Underwear?

2009-05-27T08:41:00.003-05:00

First of all, if you wear thong underwear, I hope I do not offend you here. But, I think you will get my point if you decide to read further.

Yesterday, I left work early because Griffin has a swim lesson. We get to the Y, and there I find out that the swim lesson has been cancelled. This peeves me a little because I was going to work out. But, now, Griffin wants to go home. This would make for good use of my time....run home, start fixing dinner, get the dishes done, etc, before I have to go pick up the little ones...alright, no working out for me. Not working out, though, does make me a little sad because I am seriously trying to get swimsuit ready...or at least not look like two-ton Tessie at the swimming pool this summer.

So, off we go to the house, where Griffin has requested I make "tomatoes" for dinner. "Tomatoes, you don't like tomatoes....you mean PO-tatoes?"
"Oh yeah, that's what I meant, ba-tatoes.....you know the crumbly ones. The kind that are all sort of mooshed-up."
"Mashed Potatoes. You want mashed potatoes."
"Yeah. Can you make those for dinner? I love those!"
"Sure honey. I should have enough time before I have to go pick up your brothers, so sure."
"Good!"
Mashed potatoes, corn, and chicken was our menu. While I cooked, Griffin asked if he could have breakfast since he didn't have breakfast that morning. "Sure. But I am making you crumbly potatoes (giggle)....don't fill up on breakfast!"
"Oh I won't!"
......"Mom."
"Yes."
"You didn't tell me good morning before you left."
"I didn't? Oh, I'm sorry honey!"
"And you didn't give me a kiss."
"Oh, I am doubly sorry sweetie! I didn't know I missed that too!"
"I really like getting kisses from you in the morning....and for you to tell me Good Morning...and you didn't."
"Well, if that made you sad, I apologize. Can I give you a kiss now?"
"Sure."
Muhwah
"Okay. We're good."

"This is the best dinner ever!"
"Well, I'm glad you like it!"
"Did you know that corn and mashed ba-tatoes is a recipe Mom?"
"No, I didn't know that."
"Yep, mixing your corn into your mashed potatoes is....we should write that down."
"Okay. Who would we tell? We already know that recipe."
"My teachers and grandma. We should tell them about corn and mashed ba-tatoes...they would like this recipe, it's the best!"
"Well, we might need to do that."

After dinner and cleaning up, I had to run out to a meeting at church. I wasn't sure what time it started. Though, I was thinking 6:30 sounded right (but thought 6:00 could be right too, so I left the house and got to the church at 6:15, either 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late, but either was acceptable in my mind.)

At the church I was surprised I saw no cars. Hmmm, 6:30 must have been right.....I'm early.

After waiting around for another 10 minutes I decided something must be wrong here. The committee I am on at church has like 30 or more people on it, and many of them are older, and let's just say that the old folks I know I never late going anywhere. So, I walk up to the church entrance to find out what is going on. Sam, the custodian, informs me I was really early, the meeting did not start until 7:00. Crud!

Hey, but look here I am still in my workout clothes and the Y is right next door. So, off I run to the van and next door I go to the gym! I can still get in my workout!

Upon entering the Exercise Room, I notice a couple of youngsters hanging out in there. Two girls just sort of hanging around looking at things. The two both have full-makeup on and I'm guessing neither is more than 14.

Whatever, I have a workout to do here! Looks like these girls are just looking for some attention.

After climbing to the top of the Sears Tower, and no joke, that is what I felt like afterwards, I rush over to the Hip Abduction machine, I have just a few more minutes to get those Suzanne Somers Thigh Master legs, I notice the two girls from earlier are now on Ellipticals side by side. Seriously girls, how are you getting any sort of work out? You're barely walking on those things and talking non-stop. It wouldn't have surprised me if next they started text messaging each other on their cell phones OMG, did you see that hottie over there? He was totally checking me out!

I'm in a huge hurry, gotta get to my meeting, but as I run over to get the spray and clean off my machine for the next person, one of the girl's grabs my attention. Is she wearing jean shorts, and tiny ones at that? Jean shorts, or maybe I should call them denim underwear, no wonder you're barely making that thing go....hello, heard of chafing before? Ouch!
Then, I see something else that itty-bitty jean shorts girl is sporting, a Whale Tail, as my husband would call it, or a thong to all of us not so witty folks. And, now, I am disgusted.

14, maybe, wearing shorts that barely cover her rear with underwear on that are obviously so far up her crack (or just that much too big for her very immature physique) that the band and the T are a good 4 inches higher than the waistband of her shorts.......gross! Where is your MOTHER!!!

No mother in sight, I'm vigorously cleaning this machine saying to myself, You can just walk out like you never saw a thing. But is that right?! It WILL only take you a second to stop by and tell her what she's flashing....and by the way, does your mother know you wear those?

With my machine cleaner than anyone else has ever left it, I decide on doing what's right....Okay, let's do this......
"Honey, your underwear are showing."
Annoyed look from barely teen whose conversation and "work-out" have just been interrupted, "WhaTTT?"
"Your underwear are showing."
Words sinking in to the cavernous empty space between her two ears, "oh." And, then, a feeble attempt is made to pull down at her shirt and pull up on the denim cloth.

I walked away thinking:
And your mother let you come here this way? What was she thinking? And your working-out, is puh-leez...pathetic, no one is buying this act honey! And do you see these grown men behind you? I'm sure you are making them laugh their tails off...baby-girl trying to look like a "woman". What sort of example of a girl are you displaying here? I may not be a tramp, but today I am playing the role of one....Full makeup, shorts that barely restrain my bits, and a thin shred of material "covering" my most private of all areas.
Little girl.......GROSS.

I went home last night and the first thing I said to my husband was, "There are definite benefits to having boys."

And, Griffin, just so you know, Mommie will always be here to tell you Good Morning and give you kisses ....but, if at 14 you bring home a girl who looks like this......she will never get the corn and mashed ba-tato recipe!

Thank God For Gray Hair!

2009-05-21T08:15:00.003-05:00

Older and wiser they say. Isn't that how it goes? Older and wiser.

I'm so grateful I am coming into that statement. Utterly grateful for all the life experiences I have had. Without them I might still be waiting on older and wiser to get here. I could be 50 and still thinking, "hmm, older and wiser...not sure I am there yet, still making the same bad decisions." But, instead, I am in my early 30's taking stock of my life and saying to myself, "older and wiser....yes I am!"

I can't even fathom that I was nervous about turning 30. What does 30 mean? Does it mean responsible? Does it mean no more childish outbursts? How do I act 30? I've never been 30 before!

30, doesn't mean that you have to be responsible, but for me it means I want to. 30, for me, doesn't mean I never have a childish outburst, but my maturity in handling situations has finally settled in and childish outbursts aren't very common anymore.

I feel so in-control of my life in my 30's. Even though the question "what will I be when I grow up" still sometimes comes out of my mouth and enters my thoughts, the thoughts that immediately follow are no longer ones of self-doubt and vulnerability. The thoughts that immediately follow are, "What are you already?", "Look at all you have accomplished.....You CAN do anything!"

I wished for this confidence in my youth. I faked it in my 20's. Now, in my 30's, I am living it. Aging is a wonderful gift!!

5 Things I never thought I would be grateful for:
1) Getting Older
2) Kids......I knew I would be grateful for them, but never could have imagined their impact!
3) Change
4) Not having money.....because when you have to work for things or be creative in your getting what you'd like, you build character!
5) Worries....because it is then that my Faith has been tested and what I've been shown is the true beauty of God's power. I am in awe of His grace.

Now, tell me 5 things are you grateful for that you never thought you would be.

Don't Lose Sight of the Boomerang Effect

2009-05-18T16:00:00.003-05:00

Gonna rant for a second....Why is it okay to blatantly hurt someone else's feelings? Because we as humans sometimes suck? Because we as humans sometimes like to see others hurt? Because we can't stand to see other people happy? Why?!

I will say this....sometimes things need to be said. Sometimes. Sometimes, people do need to hear what they do not want to hear. But, being hateful, just hurting someone else's feelings because of your own insecurities, that is despicable!

I wish I could ball up all of the hate and hurt in the hearts of these offenders and throw it away...vanquish it so that they would no longer feel the need to be hateful or hurtful to anyone else.

It is a pity that we have but one life to live and that some waste it by memorializing themselves with the hurt they press down upon others.

I hope that forgiveness will come to the ones you've hurt. That they will find places of pity and understanding to forgive you. I pray that witnesses to your improprieties will whisper softly to themselves, "that will never be me." And when you selfish, indignant individuals turn to the ones you've scorned I wish that in your need the lesson will be learned......

What goes around comes around.

Jerk-Off, ahhh, that felt good!

2009-04-15T14:06:00.003-05:00

I like to call names. I admit it. Sometimes I just like to call a Jerk a Jerk. Or a PooPooHead a PooPooHead.

I find myself in the car, quite often, telling the "Dude" in front of me to "C'mon! Watch the frickin' road", and "What the @$&%$&+$ Do you think you are doing!!!! Can't you see I am in this lane already!?!?" And I make up all sorts of names for these guys and gals. Nothing new here, just a lot of oldies-but-goodies, like:
Dillweed
Jerk-Off
A-Hole
Freakin' Moron
Douche Bag
and the list goes on.....

But, as I said, I sort of like this. Does that make me weird? That I sorta like calling people names but not to their face, only while in my car. It's only to the back of the head of said person in front of me while I am in my mobile transporting vessel hurtling down the road at 60 miles an hour. "Who the heck taught you to drive, Dumb-A&^!!"

And it's not road rage. I know that's what you're thinking. Because see, I would never get up next to the person and call him/her any of these names I call them behind their back, nope, I like to just call them names and then forget. Just drive past them and not give them a second glance. Not necessary, I called you all the names I needed to while you were in front of me. Now that I am leaving you behind, I have nothing to say but, "ARRIVEDERCI!!"

It's wonderful, actually. Name calling. It helps you to articulate your disdain for the person. Gives your mind a way to escape, makes me laugh fitfully sometimes. Yes, that's me the crazy lady in the car behind you with the vein bulging out of her head, throwing her hands in the air, and then laughing hysterically. That's me!

Another thing I catch myself doing while driving, and let me just say that the name calling is only done while I am alone in the car....okay, is almost always only done while I am alone in the car. And curse words are not used if the kids are in the car with me....okay, only mild curse words are used while the kids are in the car, and this doesn't happen very often.....a very honest admission, I must say.....but I digress. I catch myself making sound effects for these pitiful cars driving down the road, too.

I make sounds like Speed Buggy, "Room a zoom-zoom, Plurp-plurp-phhlrpphllrp Let's get it goin' here Buddy! Got a little water in your tank? When was the last time you checked your oil???! Sheesh, smokin like a barbecue grill on game day!!! Get a tune up, already!!"
And this will make me laugh too. I just kill myself sometimes! Who IS this lady making these noises and talkin all this smack? Huh?!

I guess I like this freedom because it doesn't hurt anyone. Anyone who knows me, knows I would hate to hurt someone's feelings. I am always trying to find the best way to say something because I really think it matters, how you approach subjects and how the person is left feeling. These things matter to me. But, not when I'm in the car. I could care less if you were a van-load full of nuns, if you are in the fast lane going 45 I am going to call you a whole slew of names until you get out of my way, and stop holding up the flow of traffic.

Weird. I guess I am a little weird. But a good driver.....just a mouthy one!

So what about you? Do you catch yourself saying things out loud in certain places, places you feel safe. And saying things you would never normally say because how would that make the other person feel?

Admit it. You like calling names too! It's a release!
This especially goes out to all of you married folks because you KNOW you have called your spouse many a choice word when you knew he or she wouldn't hear you!

Game Shows and Censoring, Can't Decide What I'm Talking About Here!

2009-03-26T14:18:00.004-05:00

Has anyone else been watching this show on the Food Network, "Chopped"?

It has become one of my new faves. I love the gameshow element of it, "Who will make the most impressive meal? Who will come out on top?" Which is why I have also always loved the Iron Chef shows. I especially liked Iron Chef back in the day. The Japanese show that the Food Network bought and dubbed over with English speakers. Think Kung-Fu Theatre in the kitchen!

Anyway, back on topic, Chopped. It's good. It has a panel of three judges, tasting the fares of 4 chefs. In round one, the chefs are to make an appetizer using all of the ingredients found in their baskets (everyone has the same ingredients). They can also use anything they find in the "pantry" to complete their dish. There are three rounds, Appetizer, Entree, and Dessert. A chef is Chopped each round leaving one Chef victorious, and the winner of $10,000. Oh, and in each round, the chefs have only 30 minutes to concoct, cook, and plate their dishes, and the ingredients in the baskets change with each round so there's no pre-planning. Just open up the basket and start cookin'!

It gets me excited seeing what ingredients they will have, and thinking "What would I do with those?" Course I'll think things like, "Oh, I'd make a Peanut Sauce with that, and pair it with a Fresh Mint Salad and Shrimp Puff..." Though, I can think it all I want, but I wouldn't know how to execute it to save my life,! And I sure as heck couldn't do it in 30 minutes! Whew, no way!

But, it gets me thinking. I pick out my favorite chef at the beginning, and if there were a way of betting on my pony, I would!

That's what I have always loved about game shows. You get involved. You pick a favorite. You talk to the TV telling him or her how stupid they made you look when they answered that way or chose that whatever. Doesn't he know that the capital of Norway is Oslo? Great....I put my bet on this one?!? Crap. Send my pony to the glue factory, he's worthless.

Game Shows are my kind of gambling. No money is exchanged, I get to show off how smart I am to all those who are in the room, usually just me. And if I decide I don't like my pony, well, I just pick a new one half way through. I can't associate myself with Nitwits now can I?

But, Chopped got me thinking about something I had wondered a while back....Where have Game Shows gone? We still have the Price is Right, I think. Though, I'll have to say, I saw it once when it was on prime time, and Drew Carey sucked! He is definitely no Bob Barker.

Back when I first started wondering, "Where have Game Shows gone?" CBS came out with Million Dollar password. I was psyched! Too cool! I loved that show growing up, Super Password, that is. But, now, no more Password. Maybe it's just on hiatus. But, what the crap? Am I the only one who still likes a good Game Show?

Wheel of Fortune is still going, so that must not be the case. But what about reviving The Match Game or The Joker's Wild or Tic-Tac Dough? With Game Show Host's whose names are Wink, Bert, Gene, and Bob. They wore suits and had classic "reporter" hair. And the celebrities on the shows could kind of get bawdy in their responses. It was funny! Their answers were just slightly risque. No one was ever over the line. They got just close enough to it to make it funny!

Seems like these days you have to worry about every word that comes out of your mouth. "Oops, shouldn'ta said that, gonna hear from this group on that one....oops, messed-up again, I might get fired for that." Great. Fine. Censor us to death. Now our kids are being pooh-poohed away from so much that it's like being rebellious to say "Butt!" or "Fart!" Just to let you know, these have been replaced with "bottom" and "pooting". (I guess tooting was even too crass.)

In fact, I was just corrected the other day by Griffin when I asked him to "push his butt up" because I needed to get his pants under it while he was seated on the couch. "Mom. It's called a bottom. You should say bottom." Great. It's a bottom. Super. Well, let's just get this straight right from the get-go. A butt is a butt, a bottom is a butt, a tush is a butt, a hiney is a butt, the gluteus-maximus is the butt muscle (mine is covered with a thick layer of fat, but I promise you the muscle is in some shrunken space below), buttocks, booty, etc. All of these are non-curse words we can use to refer to that area of the body. It's just now, someone has decided that the least offensive term is bottom, so let's all adopt that word, okay?!? Might as well just get rid of those other offensive ones.

I caught myself saying this improper, "butt" word in The Live Big class I teach, and I was seriously upset with myself. My internal thought was, "Carrie, you can't say that in church! These kids are gonna leave here saying 'butt', and when their parents ask them where they have learned this word, they're going to say, 'My Live Big teacher said it!'" Good Gracious! Lightning should have struck down from the heavens and zapped me flat!

But, I did it too. I chastised myself for saying butt, when it is a perfectly fine word. Sure, bottom might have been a more appropriate choice. But, it wasn't going to hurt any of those kids to hear the word butt.

I should throw in the fart word sometime during my next class and refer to "tee-tee" as pee! I'll be banished for sure!

I guess what I'm saying is that Game Shows of old made me feel appropriate. I wasn't some "looks nice on the outside but has the mouth of a trucker" sorta lady. Game Shows from times past made me feel like I was gambling when I wasn't. And Game Shows engaged me. Got me thinking.

I'm tired of having more appropriate words forced down my throat and I'm sick of feeling like conforming for the "greater good" is how I should live. I'd like to keep my uniqueness, please. God intended for me to be this way. He crafted only one like me, and I'm pretty sure it would be an abomination of His name to change.

So, if you hear me saying, "Who farted?" and, "No wait, first I gotta go pee." and, "There's no Butt Wipe in here, somebody bring me some please." Just leave me be. I know there are better, more appropriate words, but I like the ones I choose, and they're not hurting anyone.

By the way, seriously, "Who farted?"

Memories, But a Juke Box Away!

2009-03-23T10:48:00.006-05:00

I was off this last week. Home with Griffin for his Spring Break. Dan called it my "stay-cation". I thought that was clever.

I had several tasks to complete, or should I say I still have several tasks to complete!

But it was nice, being home with Griffin. He liked it so much that he was practically in tears when he had to get up and go back to school today! I knew how he felt, but couldn't really sympathize, I had to stand firm on, "Sorry buddy, school is important, you have to go."

I stood firm while my thoughts said, "I don't want to go back to work with my house still a mess and feeling like my week at home was not a whole week! It couldn't have been! Someone stole my days!"

But, what good would that do? It is what it is, as they say. Monday came even though I tried wishing it away.

Griffin and I had a notable moment in the car last week. He was switching stations like he likes to do when we're driving. He is very much a ROCK and RAP sorta dude! Anything with a thump.....I can already feel the future, my bleeding ear drums!!!

As he's searching through stations he stops on a Classic Rock Station. Where I hear the beginning of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. I say, "Oh, stay here Buddy. This is a GREAT song!"

Griffin: "No. I don't like this one."

Me: "No? Well, you just gotta keep listening.....it doesn't sound like a Rock song, but it gets there. It starts to rock towards the end."

time passes...

Griffin: "Nah. I don't like it. It doesn't rock."

Me: "I promise it will. You just gotta be patient."

seconds pass.....

Griffin: "I'm getting tired of waiting. Whens' it gonna rock?"

Me: "Buddy, you just gotta be patient. I promise it rocks! This is the kind of music your Dad and I grew up listening to. This is true Rock!"

the song starts to pick up, Griffin gets a little taste of the Rock that's coming....

Griffin: "Oh, Mom, it's starting to get better!"

He's bobbing his head, finding the beat of the song......but now we're almost home.

Griffin: "Mom. Do NOT turn off the car when we get home. I wanna keep listening to this!"

Oh, yes. Yes, son, you do. That is true Rock and Roll. Music that will ring in your head for years to come. And when it plays you will have all these memories float to the surface of where you were when......... and of who you were dancing with when it was playing at your 10th grade Sadie Hawkins....these are the memories of our youth. Gone from our every day lives until we turn on the radio, or pop in a CD, or better yet, put on an album!!

Music is an escape, a release, and a vacation away from it all.

That was one of the only moments I felt like I was truly on vacation while I was home. So glad I got to share it with Griffin.

Another Busy Weekend!

2009-03-02T14:18:00.006-06:00

A weekend list of To-Do's:

Buy the kids matching outfits for Saturday's pictures ***check***

Give the boys haircuts ***check***

Bake two cakes for Wyatt's Birthday ***check***

Throw something in Crock-pot for Saturday lunch ***check***

Welcome-in Mom and Step-Dad for the weekend ***check***

Head-out to Photography Studio for Spring pics/Wyatt's One Year Portrait ***check***

Three hours later, Eat Crockpot lunch and prepare for dinner ***check***

Cook dinner kids will eat that isn't chicken nuggets ***check***

Serve Cake/Take Pictures in Celebration of Wyatt's Birthday ***check***

Clean-Up after Cake explosion ***check***

Drink wine to cure aching body ***check, hiccup, check-chicketty-check 1,2***

Wake to Snowy-Wonderland and spend Hours looking for Griffin's gloves, only to come-up with them after he has declared, "it's too cold out there!" ***check***

Convince Husband and Parents that re-arranging the Boys' bedrooms is a very good idea for a snowy Sunday morning ***check***

Spend the rest of the day Cleaning, Organizing, and Trashing all of their junk, oops, so sorry, what I meant say was "precious, and beloved belongings." ***check***

Stand back and look with pride on the new spaces we've created ***check***

Somehow fit into the weekend washing, drying, and folding 5 loads of laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming, along with other household duties ***check***

And here are the photos that illustrate our productive weekend. (oh, and I threw in the picture of Wyatt crawling in the hallway to show another thing that we are working on in our house, replacing the flooring in the hall, entry, and livingroom.... this is on top of the bathroom project that is still in full-swing and the other upgrades we have recently made to the house....lots of work but very rewarding!!!)

The Bat Signal Has Been Sounded! I Need HELP!

2009-02-03T15:38:00.004-06:00

Valentine's Day is coming up and on a Saturday too! That means we are almost certainly expected to do something "romantic", right?!?

It's a Saturday, so I guess that means we're supposed to get a babysitter and head out for a night of dinner, conversation and, again, that word "romance". Am I correct?!?

Silly that I would have to ask, I know, but romance is not something I am good at! You would think I would be good at it, I am female! Yet, I have become soooooo out of touch with that side of me since having the boys! I am literally at a total loss for what I could do for the man in my life, other than the purely obvious, that could be considered "romantic".

In previous years, I have done the whole sweet store-bought card, the sentimental hand-written note, the heart-warming, and tummy satisfying, "breakfast in bed" (this one has not worked out well for me since my husband would much prefer the extra hours of sleep and doesn't eat breakfast, other than slurping down an energy drink.)

But this year, I am stumped! And I realize this pure lack of creativity and invention makes me a real embarassment to the female population. But that's okay! Consider me the black sheep. I will wear my title with pride; I just need some ideas!! Something that might spark a memory or get me EXCITED about Romance!

I expect MANY responses to this distress signal! I want to get the Romance Gland working again!
****** If I receive not even one comment, I will cite all of you as the reason my husband is divorcing me! But don't feel any pressure.......

Why I Write

2009-01-07T08:08:00.004-06:00

Before Christmas, I saw this journal at Walmart and wanted to buy it for myself but then felt all guilty, "You're supposed to be buying gifts for others, not yourself!" Now, after the holiday, I went back to that aisle in Wally-world and there it was, right where I had seen it last, and with my Christmas money in tow, this book would now be mine!

I am not sure why I love paper so much. It's really awfully glutonous of me. Watch out trees I am not your friend. As much as I like trees for their shady branches and statuesque presence in the skyline, I also I like them just as much cut down, mashed-up, and converted into reem after reem of glorious pen fodder! How very un-green of me!

I think this love started for me as a child. For some reason we had box after box of scratch paper in the downstairs closet of the home we moved into when my mom married my step-dad. I am pretty sure this paper came from some printing company who had maybe printed reems and reems of copies incorrectly or something, not sure. What I do know is that there were boxes upon boxes of white, pink, blue, and green paper that I was allowed to mark-up, draw on, write on, whatever, because it was paper no one wanted.

Oh, how much I loved this paper! I had my own little office in that downstairs closet. I would sit in the little cubby inside the closet where the paper was stored, and with my boxes of paper I would write, draw, and create my own masterpieces. I loved escaping into my own little workshop. Having my own space was something I never really had. Who really does. Our spaces as children are usually shared with other siblings, or maybe not shared with others, but governed by the man and woman of the house, aka, Mom and Dad. Whose rules applied everywhere within the house. So, forget that you want to hang that cool poster you saw at the store up on your wall, Mom and Dad will not be having any of that. This would damage their walls and this house is an asset, you know.

So, even though you may have your own room, it's not really yours. This line of thinking must come with the role of parent! I now see a mark made in my wall and think, "Ugh. Their just devaluing my house any way they can!!" or, "Great, more work! Let me put it at the end of this list.....where is the end of this list?????"

That is why, I guess, I have such an adoration for paper. With pen to paper I enter my own world. I rule this domain. My thoughts and feelings are valid in this world because as ruler I say so! With pen to paper thoughts are remembered. This second in time is recorded. My soul and spirit will now live on. I have immortalized myself.

I am quite sure this is why I find time for this blogging everyone wonders how I can fit into my hectic life. Well, I find time because I love to write. I yearn to touch souls, to enrich lives, to deepen my connection with the people I am surrounded by. In writing, or in just sharing pictures, I feel I am doing just that. Deepening my connection with those of you, and leaving my children a message, "Your Mom Loved You! She Wanted You to KNOW Her! And How She Loved to Write! And What She Dreams For You MORE Than Anything Else is For You All to Find for Yourself What You Love and DO IT!"

Not sure why, but just writing those words now has brought tears to my eyes. Do what you love! Live with passion!

I am doing what I love in being a Mother and a Wife. But not what I love in my career. I do Love the company I work for, but the job, definitely not what I would have hand-picked for myself. And because of that, I feel I have lost that spark in some ways. That spark that keeps your passionate fire ignited. And, I guess, I sort of feel like how can I be a true example of what I wish to pass on if I am not living it? It hurts, putting it down on "cyber" paper like this. Seeing in black and white that I am only living half the life I envisioned. What a blow. I feel as if I am admitting failure. That is a tough pill to swallow. But, then, what should I do? What will make this lover of all things connective happy. Where would my skills be best matched and where, then, should I start?

Sometimes I feel like there are several people living inside of me. And I should feel this way because in today's society women are made to feel like they are supposed to wear many, many hats, and therefore, be, many, many people.

Some days I feel like I am a wonderful mother. Other days I feel like I have my head in my ass and who the hell would want this woman as their mother? She's full of venum and bile, keep her away from all of your young ones!

Some days I feel like I am a terrific employee. Dedicated to the work and to the real importance of my role. Others, I wonder why I am doing this? Why on Earth do I still continue to act happy with people who really deserve a good tongue lashing!

Some days I feel like the wife I am is so sub-par that my husband should really just leave. I know I could be better, but I've got all these hats and the damn things are weighing on me. Go find you another woman who can be your best friend and your soft place to fall, I am becoming a cold-hard-concrete-for-a-heart person, living in this passion-starved world.

So, I guess what I am saying is that if I am to live my passion, where would I begin? What would have to suffer? I feel like I am already just barely keeping my hats on, what would happen if I juggled them even more by adding, "in pursuit of my passion" to the mix? And that is the thing that keeps holding me back.

This is the most infuriating for me since I have never been one to stand down to a challenge. But, yet, I continually push down my loves, my desires so not to disrupt the many roles I already must be present and active in.

I love this "cyber" paper, and the paper of a journal. I love that I have a voice in this world I have created. Yet, sometimes the voice I hear scares me and depresses me, and makes me wish I was not a writer. Makes me wish I wasn't a person who feels the need to express and feel expression from others. It would be so much easier to feel less, to have lower expectations, to find solace in all that I have, instead of being grateful, but wishing for better.

Wow. Being ruler of my domain, you'd think I would speak better of myself, huh?! Guess sometimes you're not even really impressed with your own decisions.

Well, that just means its time to shake things up a bit. I vow to, or since we are in a New Year, I resolve to feed my passions. To find time for the Me who lives under my hats. Maybe finding the Me underneath all these hats will not be disruptive at all. Maybe it will make the hats I wear seem less heavy, strengthening the soul of the one who resides beneath. This could be just the spark I have been needing to keep my fire going!

If you're still here reading, I thank you for staying, for reading, for letting me vent my frustration and work through that bit of depression I was feeling. I'm much better now. Writing IS cathartic!!!

Christmas Is Better With SNOW!!!

2008-12-30T09:43:00.014-06:00

First, let me start out by saying, Merry Christmas, belated!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday, and will continue the joy-fest into the New Year, where I trust you will act responsibly while still having a great time!

As many of you know, we were in Iowa this year for Christmas where a winter wonderland awaited us. I think they said there were 10-12 inches on the ground while we were there. Yes, God had listened to my prayers. He gave me the snow I had been praying for. I know, now you know who to thank, right?!? But, obviously God wanted the boys to have fun in the snow, as much as I did! And, from what I hear, it is mostly gone now. So, you can thank me for that too! ***smile***

The kids were completely taken aback traveling into this crazy land of ice and snow! They came from 60 degree weather and woke up to find zero degree temperatures and slippery white stuff! "Is this a parallel dimension? No, it's Iowa!!"

Watching the boys in the snow was such fun!

Grant kept running and falling down everywhere he went! He was cracking me up!

Griffin had to run through every snow pile he saw, and of course, Grant was not far behind him following in his big brother's footsteps.

Wyatt had no clue what to think! Though, he was highly irritated that I would not let him get down on the floor in places where he thought he should be able to have free reign. Momma was being mean! But, wet, dirty slush is just oh so attractive to a little one who has to investigate EVERYTHING, and taste it all too! So, sorry little buddy, and oh, sorry spine of mine, while in Iowa many hours of weight lifting will have to be endured while holding our little chubby baby! Should have budgeted for a massage and several visits to the Chiropractor this month.......

The trip went very smoothly despite the weather. There was one piece of driving that was a bit ulcerating! The wind was kicking up snow so dense you could no longer see the road in front of you, which we Iowans know to be a "white-out". The last one of these I was in, my schoolmate who was driving a 1 ton 4x4 truck hit the dually-pickup truck in front of us, and sent us both to the hospital. That was a rough one. Could have been much worse. At least we both came out of it with only minor injuries and no one else was hurt.

My abnormal hubby found this "white-out' experience to be very exciting and, actually, had quite a good time driving while in the snow covered state of Iowa. And I do agree, driving in snow can be fun. It's just the possibility of getting into an accident or breaking down somewhere along the road that makes the whole experience a bit scary.

But, neither of those things occurred therefore Dan has been left with the memory of entertaining driving, driving that's a little edgy, not driving that leaves your knees shaky and your body in the fetal position on the floorboards.

Hee hee! That just made me laugh!

I have actually been there, on the floorboard while Dan has driven us through treacherous conditions. One time, about 8 or 9 years ago Dan and I were driving through Little Rock in an ice storm, and I was FREAKED! Dan, on the other hand, was just calmly driving, laughing at the scene I was making in the car. Me all curled up into a ball, clutching my knees, yelping every time he hit the brakes, and praying! I can remember him telling me not to look, that it was all good, and he was going to get us there.

So, is my husband scared to drive in a "white-out"?! I think not! That's a good man to take with you on a winter trip to Iowa, I tell ya! I'm not stupid!

Well, anyway, I really just wanted to get these pictures out on the web and tell everyone we saw while back how good it was to see you, and everyone I did not, that I hope your holiday was as happy and healthy as ours. And best wishes to everyone for a prosperous 2009!

P.S. This first photo is the one that was supposed to go out in my Christmas Cards, just in case you wondered.....

A BUNCH OF PICS!!

2008-12-12T09:51:00.016-06:00

How Old is Too Old? Right Now, 33 Seems Too Old!

2008-12-10T12:54:00.005-06:00

So, a friend of mine and I were talking on Monday about how tiring it is having three young kids. And add to that: sickness, yours and theirs, and the fact that the world doesn't stop spinning EVER so how are you ever going to be able to recuperate?!?! I said, "Yeah, I was all about maybe having another child at some point, but now, NO WAY!! I can't even imagine having another kid!"

She agreed. She has three young children herself and said something to the effect of they would have to institutionalize us if another one was to come along! Bring on the straight jacket this woman has gone certifiable!!!

That topic, and my recent realization that I am getting OLD, got my mind going. I started thinking about kids and age, and how I think it is INSANE to have a child late in life! Now, no one get offended here. I do not think it is wrong of anyone who decides to live life in this fashion, I just think, for me, I would be NUTS to have a child later in life, like after the boys are already almost out of the house and what-not. But, hey, I am me, so it is very possible that I will change my mind. I may just decide at 45 that I am ready for baby number 4. Now, I will most definitely have to go out and buy the male component necessary to have this baby, because it would be then that my husband would find the nearest door out of this loony bin saying, "You can take on that mid-life crisis all by yourself! I'm OUTTA HERE!!!"

That being said, I am pretty sure I won't be changing my mind that late in life. I do enjoy my husband's company therefore no more babies past 35! (or maybe 36, or 37, okay 38, but that is the latest, I promise, unless I get pregnant at 39, then maybe my limit will be 40.)

So, I started searching the internet for just how OLD the oldest woman to ever give birth was. I thought I remembered reading when I was younger about a woman in her late 50's having a child. But, I had to assume that that number had bettered itself with all the advances in medicine we have had since then, and I was right. The oldest woman to EVER give birth, did so this year in July. She was 70 and her husband 77!!!!! They had already had two daughters and 5 grand children, and now, they have twins, a boy and a girl. (On a side note, apparently they would have been much happier had they not had the girl. They only went through Invitro to get a male heir, but got a girl as well. As they told it to one news agency, she is a "burden". Nice! Love you too Mom and Dad!!)

It would seem that I was very timely in my questions into the age of a woman at birth, because today it was reported that another 70 year old Indian woman gave birth just last month. The oddity of this story is that the woman was married to her husband for 50 years without a child and then went through Invitro to conceive. And through this method voila, they now have their very own Burden, I mean, Girl Baby!

But, my point in all of this rambling is this...... How the heck will they be able to keep up with this infant? Holy Cow!! (And in India cows are) I can't even imagine being a septuagenarian and having a baby! Mine! Not my long lost cousin's. Not my great-grand daughter's......NO.....MINE! My kid. My responsibility. A child I will have to teach about things I have long since forgotten. And help with things I can't bend down to do.

And I know that some people are in really good shape at 70. And that is Wonderful. Miraculous! Stupendous! But, at that age I think I will be thinking when am I going to sleep?!?! I'm old, I need naps!

Little babies need naps too, but then they grow up a little and become toddlers. Which is when they run their buts off, and they scream at the top of their lungs, (probably not such a bad thing for a 70 year old parent, hearing loss does usually come with age) And, toddlers hit.... HARD sometimes! And Kick, too! And old bones are brittle bones, you know!

Anyway, I just found it VERY amusing that two couples in their seventies were consciously choosing to have babies, while I, in my 30's wish desperately for some hours of unconsciousness making it possible for my brain to make a decision!

Domestic Bliss

2008-11-13T08:02:00.004-06:00

My favorite time of the year is upon us. Fall. I love it! I love everything about it! The changing of the leaves, the crispness in the air, the need to always carry a jacket or sweatshirt, and most of all it means Thanksgiving is just around the corner!

I LOVE Thanksgiving! It is, from my point of view, the best holiday of all! It is turkey, stuffing, cranberries, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, rolls, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, etc, etc, etc!!! Oh glorious food from the Gods! How I love each and every one of you!! Can you tell I like food?! Oh yeah, food and I have a great love affair! I love to eat it and it loves to be my constant companion. I think my left thigh is still holding onto a serving of mashed potatoes from 1992!

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite because it is a holiday gathering that is not about presents, it's about FAMILY!! Being thankful for the family you have, the family you've gained, and for the ability to gather and enjoy one another's company.

It's a laid-back festivity. You don't have to dress up. Growing up, we usually did, but me, now, no way! I'm lucky to be showered and out of pajamas by the time the food hits the table! It's a meal that's all about gluttony! You almost feel like a caveman with a turkey leg in your hand, "Ungabunga, me love this fooood! Marrumm-umm-umm.....It good....Marrumm-umm-umm.....Me needs more!!"

And every year you set a time to eat, or a time for everyone to be at your gathering spot, but your meal is not typically ready. No, usually the meal will run an hour or so late, at least mine typically go this way! But, if anyone complains, you're gettin' a Smack-Down, WWE style! Seriously, this is a cardinal sin! Don't complain about eating a meal you will soon have the pleasure to fill yourself full of! Snack on anything you can find, and wait patiently because the pay off is a meal, a feast, that is so decadent it only happens once a year!

I have been a married woman for many years now and have grown a great fondness for cooking. It's something that I have found I do well and something I put a lot of heart into. So, Thanksgiving has always seemed my perfect venue. It's a time for my family to enjoy being together and a time to eat a meal that was prepared out of love and gratefulness for those whom I will sit down with at the table.

Don't get me wrong, the Thanksgiving meal is a huge undertaking, but it just seems so worth it! To place a feast upon the table, to look at it with pride for all of your hard work, and to then watch with pleasure as the ones you love the most enjoy the fruits of your labor. It is my Tour de France, my World Cup, my Olympic event!

And never in my wildest dreams did I think, growing up, that I would find pleasure in toiling over a meal from the wee hours of the morning til it's presentation later that afternoon. In fact, I would say being a domesticated woman was more of my antithesis, back then. It was NEVER something I thought I would find pride in! No, I was going to go out and climb the professional ladder! Shatter the Glass Ceiling! Make a NAME for myself!

Funny that what I have found years later are the names I enjoy most are Mom, Wife, Friend.

How about you? Do you find you gain more satisfaction in your domestic role than you ever thought you would? Have certain domestic tasks become sources of pride for you? Or is there some event in your life you look forward to more than any other because it gives you the chance to show off your skills? Let me know. I'd like to hear!

Can You Explain The Word Can't? I Don't Think I Know That One...

2008-11-03T12:42:00.012-06:00

*****Pictures have been added, enjoy!!!

Are weekends a whirlwind of activities for you? Man, sometimes I get back to work and am still feeling dizzy from the previous two days!

This weekend was, of course, no exception. Halloween was Friday night. And I must say I had three very cute Trick-or-Treaters, a Power Ranger, a Farmer, and a chubby little Pumpkin!
They had such a fun time going from house to house. Grant and Wyatt stayed in the wagon for the most part, oh where Griffin's water bottle apparently turned over and soaked their little bottoms! Though, neither one of them complained. I mean not a peep! It wasn't until I picked Wy Wy up out of the wagon to burp him after he finished his bottle, that I noticed he was soaked! Poor thing!!!! Good for us that it was a really pleasant evening. A bit cool, but definitely not cold. But, we did cut our candy hunting short since Griffin's boots were hurting his feet, Grant wanted me to hold him, while holding Wy Wy, and Wyatt was just plain starving! But, again, no one was really complaining that much. They just wanted to go home when we got close. They saw the mother ship and it was calling them back!!

Here's Grant out in the Wagon by himself. He was ready to go WAY before the other two!

Oh, he is SO cute!

You like my sucker Wy Wy?

Wy Wy says, "I want to eat!" Griffin says, "First you have to let Mom take all these silly pictures." Grant says, "muhmmpfhh....mo cahn-d."

Wy Wy says, "Get me outta here!" Griffin says, "No more pictures!!" Grant says, "I got a little room left in my right cheek, More candy, please!!"

Ahh, now we're all happy!!!

I had to throw these in here so you could see how I have recycled these looks from one to the next. Griffin as a farmer, and Grant as a Pumpkin (Griffin was the Pumpkin too, but I don't have a digital pic of him in it.) But, pretty cute, huh?!? They sure do look alike!

And did everyone know that Griffin will be 6 on Tuesday?!? New age for him, new elected official for our country.....

So, with that said, Griffin has suffered without a birthday party for two years now! I know, I am one un-loving mother, aren't I?!?

Well, this year, I decided I did want to do something but not anything too over the top! I can't stand to hear about people who go out and spend lavish amounts of money on a party for a child because "Oh, he deserved a party, it was his birthday!" If you're not with me, check out this article on MSNMoney.

Excuse me, what?!?! I get a birthday every year, and I usually have to work on mine! Psshhhhaaaww! I know. It's inconceivable! Working on your birthday?!?! But, it happens and guess what? The world keeps on turning. No devastating natural disaster cripples the city because there was no party for me. And no reporters come knocking on my door asking me, "Why was there no party on your birthday? Have your parents forgotten that your birthday demands a party and presents from all?"

Though, I do believe that you should be treated special on your birthday by the people who love you, as I documented in a previous post. So, I do agree with that. But a party just really isn't necessary in my mind. Especially when kids these days already have WAYYYY too much!!! But, of course, they are fun to go to for Griffin, and he had been without for two whole years!

So, I decided to go ahead and have a true birthday party. Something that involved other kids, not just Mom and Dad. And, since Griffin is at the age where sleep-overs are just starting, I figured I would have a sleep-over party. Complete with the usual fan-fare pizza, soda, games, movies, and other assorted goodies!

I was later told by several RSVP'ing Mothers that I was brave! I had no idea that hosting a sleep-over signified bravery! Who knew! Watch out Superheroes, there's a new Fear Fighting Force in town, SuperMom! I'll take on your 5 year old, OVER NIGHT, and he won't get the best of me! Any fit he throws I will handle with my Spatula of Re-Direction, helping him to forget what is so upsetting by interesting him in something else. And, any restlessness he exhibits at bedtime will be calmed by my Book of Reason, eliminating his desire to call you in the middle of the night by explaining that the party will still be going strong in the morning! Sleep is just an intermission!!

Oh, my powers are amazing! My powers are miraculous!!! My powers can be EXHAUSTING!! But, if you never test your limits how will you ever know what you are or aren't capable of?

And, really, how hard is it to entertain a group of 4-6 year old boys? Give 'em a truck, a trunk full of dress-up attire, food and drink, and they're good to go! Boys are easy! Or at least these boys were!

We ate pizza, played games, they won prizes, we opened presents, they played outside, they played inside, they played with all the opened presents, they ate brownies, they drank sodas, they laid-out their sleeping bags and put their jammies on, they watched a movie, and for a brief moment they even slept! When they woke up they were laughing and replaying the events of the night before. And were back up and horsing-around in the wee hours of the dawn.

It was a morning of doughnuts and chocolate milk and playing, again, with the new toys . But all while dressed up as different characters, Spiderman, a home depot guy, Darth-Vader with a toy leaf blower, a construction man, and whatever else they decided to switch out as upon finding something even more cool in the dress-up trunk. And then, it was time to go home. It was over so quickly!

How hard was that?!?! They practically did all of the entertaining! We had to do the refereeing, at times. And there was some reasoning and redirection that took place but not enough to make the whole thing scary. Not enough to make it so I wouldn't do it again. Enough, though, to make me grateful for the friends Griffin has. And enough to make me feel like my party efforts were worth it when the boys left with great big smiles on their faces.

Yep, a very worthwhile effort on my part I will have to say. I'd do it again, for sure! Just let this SuperMom re-charge her powers, she's not as young as she used to be, you know???!!!

Thank You Paul!

Thank You Matthew!

Thank You Jen Jen and Jason!

Thank You Kyle!

Thank You Colton! (Grant says Thank You too! Since he has taken this toy over!!)

WOW!!!
Thank You Mom and Dad!!

Thank You Nanna and Poppa!!

And Sunday, oh my! I had to teach Live BIG, and we had a birthday party for Kyle, one of Griffin's best buds. So, there was a lot going on Sunday, too. But, everything went great!

My class was a hit! The kids were so well behaved, and I had some GREAT parent volunteers! Man, you just cannot tell people enough how great they are when they've never seen the other side of the coin. I said, "Oh gosh, thanks soooooo much for your help today! You really were such great helpers, you just don't know!" And the couple was like, "Oh it was nothing. You did it all, we just helped." Umhmm, yeah, you're right, but you HELPED, and I mean, HELPED, and did more than I could have asked! You were engaged and willing participants in all that we did! You get an A+, a Gold Star, Your names in lights as the BEST PARENT HELPERS ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET! Seriously, I know the difference, and you win for being the best helpers I have ever had! So in case this couple will ever stumble upon my blog, Thanks!

And, how could a birthday party be any better for a boy turning 5 than to have all of your friends attend a costume wearing party where the Red Power Ranger was in attendance?!? Huh?! Yeah, good thing we had Griffin's party before this one, b/c our party was small potatoes compared to this one! Red Power Ranger came with his own assistant who got all the kids playing games and certifying them as "superheroes"! Oh yeah, it was a knockout party, and now with all these certified superheroes I got some younger competition! But, fear not, citizens of our great town, for a certified superhero is bound to live on your block!

Well, if you have a minute, post a Happy Birthday Comment to Griff! I know he'd love to "hear" from you! He hasn't gained my super sonic hearing yet, unless you send messages that sound like an ice cream truck! That's a sound he can hear from two cities over, I swear!!!

Your Weekend Update

2008-10-20T07:51:00.003-05:00

**Disclaimer: I am not a person who finds it funny to pick on others. And the reason I am committing this to the blog, is only to record the innocence of children.**

Griffin doesn't always know that sometimes when he says things they can be taken poorly by the other person. He just thinks he is being matter of fact and telling me how it is. You know, it's the truth.! But, sometimes pointing out the truth can hurt the other person's feelings. And we have had this talk before but, in this instance, I know that it was not hurtful. It was a sweet interaction that was also quite hilarious to this adult on-looker!

There is this little 3 year old boy at our church, Jon. Who has had to have several surgeries on his hands and feet because he has that Lobster Claw syndrome. Anyway, his hands and feet look much better, now, and he is the cutest boy on the planet (next to mine, of course!)

So, Saturday was the Fall Festival at our church and the boys had a big time! It was all child centered so how could they go away not having a good time, eh?!?

We were winding down the day when we finally went into the church hall where they were having a Cup-Cake Walk. I'm not going to explain what this is, I didn't know what one was before this weekend myself. But, I found a blog that explains a Cake Walk, so if you want to read about what a Cake Walk is go here. Our church did this a little different from the traditional. They asked people to donate cupcakes, and asked for no money from anyone who wanted to do the walk. But, the winners did win a cupcake of their choosing, yum!

Well, Griffin had Cup-Cake-Walked a couple of times and I was just in the hall gabbing with some of the other folks. Grant and Dan went to the bathroom and we were waiting for them to come back. Wyatt was just hanging out in his stroller when Jon came up to him.

It seems Jon loves babies because he was sweetly patting Wyatt and saying things to Wyatt like, "Sweet baby. Hi Baby. Oh, he's cute." And just smiling and cooing at him. It was adorable!

Griffin came over to where we were and says, "Isn't our baby cute? His name is Wy Wy."

Me: "That's right."

Jon: "Oh Hi, Wy Wy!"

Griffin: "Mom, did you know he only has like two toes?"

Me mouth gaping, "Oh please God do not let Jon's mother hear Griffin!!!"

Me: "Well..... Griffin....stumbling for words....That's okay.......It is okay....We're diff..."
Griffin cuts me off

Griffin: "Yeah, it's okay buddy" patting Jon's shoulder "You're gonna get some some day. I have like 10! You'll get some too."

Oh, if I would have had anything in my mouth it would have been spewed everywhere on everyone around me! I just burst-out with a laugh, and then contained the chuckles that wanted to follow because I didn't want to make the scenario funny to the two of them, I wanted them to just see it as a moment of friendship. Sweet boy interaction.

But, oh man! That brought tears to my eyes when I replayed the scene in my head later!

Griffin had no idea what he was saying could have hurt Jon's feelings. And I was trying to get him to understand that having two toes doesn't make him less of a fun boy to be around. But, I guess I really didn't have to do that, he realized it on his own. Griffin didn't shy away from him, he embraced knowing someone with only two toes! And so much so that he wanted me to know about it! And who knows, according to Griffin, Jon could maybe get more when he gets bigger! What a sweet boy I have. I love that little man.

And I can't tell a sweet funny story about Griffin without adding how sweet Grant is too (of course Wy Wy is as well, but he doesn't talk much at 7 and a half months, so not so much to share on his utterances!)

Grant woke up from his nap on Sunday and like a ninja, came walking into the kitchen and scared the poop out of me!

Me: "Oh hey buddy! You scared me. Are you awake now?"

Grant: "Mummmmhppppfffh"

Me: "Are you hungry? Where are you going? Are you still tired?"

Grant: "Mummmmhppppfffh"

He just glided through the kitchen in his little socked feet, rubbing his eyes, his nose, his hair, and said practically nothing.
I stood in the kitchen waiting for him to come back around, and soon, he came back through.

Me: "Hey buddy, do you want something to drink? What's the matter?"

He looks over and just glares at me, as if to say, "You're not making things any better!"

I watch as he moves from the kitchen through the living room and out the door to the garage.

After a second, I realize he's not coming back, and walk outside to be with him.

I find him standing up against the bathtub we have in our driveway, don't ask. But, seriously, we do live in Mississippi so this is perfectly normal, you do realize this, right?!?

Me: "Grant, what's the matter? Do you want me to hold you?"

Grant: "Dahh-dee. Dahhhhh-deeeeeee!"

Me: "Oh sweetie, Daddy had to go to work. He'll be home in a little bit. Do you want some juice?"

Grant: "No, don't wan-it. Dahh-dee!"
I'm feeling so bad. Poor guy. Then, I remember that I have baked cookies while he was asleep (and Wy Wy was napping as well! Amazing what can get done when the little ones are snoozing!!)

I run inside, and get a cookie for Grant, thinking that maybe he would follow me in.
Fat chance.
Now, when I return to the garage there's no Grant!

I begin yelling, "Grant......Grant, Where are you? Graaaaaaannnntttt! You want a cookie?"

Off in the distance, I hear, a little voice whining and crying, "Dahhhhhhdeeee.......Dahhhhhhhdeeee"

I can tell from where his voice is coming from that he has gone into the back yard looking for his Daddy.

When I walk around the outside of the house, and into the backyard, I see him walking towards the other gate of the fence, crying "Dahhhhhhdeeeee, I wan my Dahhhhhhdeeee!!!"

It was such a sweet display. Grant searching for Daddy. Where could Daddy be? And he didn't care that all he had on was a shirt. He had no pants, no shoes, just a diaper, socks, and a shirt, perfectly fine attire when looking for your Dahhhhhdeeee!

Me: "Grant. I'm sorry, Daddy is working. He'll be home in just a little bit. You want a cookie?"

Grant: "I wan my Dahhhhhdeeee!"

I go over to him and scoop him up in my arms.

"I'm sorry little guy, Daddy will be home in a little bit. You wanna cookie?"

Sniffle, sniffle, sniffle......

Grant: "Mmmhhmm, Googie."

He took the cookie from my hand and sank into my arms. My sad little explorer, off to find his Dahhhhhdeee. Heartsick that Daddy wasn't there when he wanted him to be. How dare he!

When Dan got home, Grant was fresh out of the bath, when I saw him pulling up. So, I said, "Grant, come here, look out the door, who is that?"

Grant: "Ohkaaaay. Hhhmmm, ahhhhhh, Dahhhhdeee!!!"

And he jumped and pranced with delight!

All was back right with the world when that little naked boy finally felt the arms of his Dahhdeee holding him tight!
What a wonderful life I have!

Boys, I Have a Definite Lack of Understanding!

2008-10-06T08:39:00.009-05:00

So, I was walking towards our hallway from the kitchen when I hear that sound everyone can recognize, the sound of a liquid streaming out onto a surface. I'm looking around, "Where's that coming from, what's leaking????" I push the bathroom door open and no one was in there. 'Course, it was a liquid being poured onto a surface sound, not into the toilet. So, I knew before looking that I wouldn't find the culprit there.

As I round the corner, I see Griffin in the doorway of his room in the "Peeing Position" and I scream, "What are you doing?????"

He turns around, and says, "I just couldn't make it to the bathroom, Mom!!!"

What?!?!? You couldn't make it the 6 paces from your bedroom door to the bathroom?

"Griffin, you know that isn't true! You just decided you wanted to pee on that towel, for some reason, and so you did. It had nothing to do with not being able to make it!!!!"

"Mom, I couldn't make it! I just couldn't make it!"

I will never understand boys. Never. Not going to ever understand how peeing on a towel in your bedroom, just feet from the bathroom is an option over going in the toilet!!!

Maybe I should should just squat down on his pillow and say, "Oh, sorry, I just couldn't make it, Griffin!"

Of course we made him pick up the towel and put it in the dirty laundry pile, but what else could we do? Rub his nose in it?

I tell you, one of the hardest things about parenting is knowing how to punish your child fairly. You know the punishment should befit the crime, but what do you do when they've run into your car with their bicycle for the 8th time knowing they were to stay away from it, or when they have marked all over some important papers but YOU were the one who left the pen there for them to mark with?!? It's hard I tell you. Because sometimes you have to hold the mirror back on yourself. You have to think, "Well, I guess he didn't know it would make me mad if he got into the pantry and pulled out the cereal box upside down, draining it of its contents, he thought he was HELPING!"

But, you don't want them to do it again! So, what's the right way to handle it? Put a padlock on the pantry door? Tell him only Mommy is allowed to pull the boxes down from the shelf? Have him make sure he is asking BEFORE he is getting what he thinks he needs? Choices, choices!

I usually go with the latter since I can't be in three places at once! I've found that one of them is always going to need me and, inevitably, it will be at the same time the other two need me as well! So, I have to encourage them to be independent. Their Independence equals more time for me to see a task through from beginning to end (or at least that is my hope, my prayer, the result I wish to someday attain!!!)

But, punishments are hard, or at least it seems they can be. And, especially when you are seeing this latest transgression as something that needs to be punished while your spouse is laughing his head off because, "C'mon! You KNOW that's funny!" Well, of course its funny! But we can't let him think that! Then he'll do it again!

So, my whole philosophy on punishment has become this, tell him it's wrong. Let him know you expected a better choice, and if he does it again, he will have to be punished. But, let the punishment be something he conjures up. Just say something like, "If you do that again, we are going to have a SERIOUS punishment for you. So do it again, c'mon, do it, and see what the punishment will be!" Oh if he doesn't know what it could be his little mind will go wild!! It could be ANYTHING!!!!

I think the more varied the punishments, the better chance you have of your child heeding your word. He'll think, "My misbehavior could warrant anything!!!" He doesn't know what could be coming at him! He can't pinpoint what punishment will be bestowed upon him, therefore he cannot pre-identify the pro's and con's of his behavior.

If he were to know that every time I do X my Mom gives me a spanking, well, he might determine that a little bit of pain is worth the pleasure he feels while doing X. But, if he has NO IDEA what the punishment could be, there can be no scientific analysis. It's more, "She might kill me this time! She looked really mad the last time. Yep, she could kill me, she probably wants to!"

I had these same thoughts go through my head growing up. I'm sure we all did! As a child, you think it is entirely possible that your parents could kill you, and maybe even sometimes want to! Man, making them mad was taking your life into your own hands!!!!

I always wondered why some of my friends growing up, didn't have this fear? Now, as a parent, I think it is because of two things. One, their parents threatened but never followed through (BIG NO NO, in my book!) Or, two, they gave the same punishments no matter the crime. So, getting spanked was no big deal, you'd had a million before, they're not so bad. Or you've been grounded from the TV before, you survived, it wasn't THAT awful.

So, a lesson for sure, that I will someday pass on to my boys is to be a varied punisher. Think about punishments, get creative with them because punishing can be a difficult task, and you want to make sure that you're choosing well. And then, let your child stew. Tell him he IS going to be punished, just do it again and SEE what happens! And that's when your child will contemplate death.....theirs.....at your hands.....Oh you gotta love the active imagination of a child!!!!

Now, here are some cute pics from the weekend. Rebellious, but Adorable!

Hey, Hey, Hey, It's Me Fat WY WY!!!

Oh, but you gotta admit, he is one precious little chunk!!

And here they all are playing nicely with their blocks.

Had to commit this one to record, playing nicely, a sometimes rare occurrence for us!!

Thought I Didn't Have Much to Say....

2008-09-22T08:47:00.006-05:00

Haven't felt very inspired to write lately. Guess that means things have slowed down a little or something. Not sure. But, I did find a couple of good recipes the other day that were quick and delicious. So, I thought I would share.

This Cookie Brittle recipe was TERRIFIC!! The kids enjoyed them enormously!

And these Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Brownies were simple (made with mixes I had on-hand) and everyone in our Financial Class loved them!

I guess I was in the baking mood since it was my birthday last week. Yay me! I had a birthday! It's funny about birthdays, or maybe it's just funny to me, but Birthdays are not what you have them built up to be, are they?!? Or maybe you don't have a pre-conceived notion of what they should be like. But, I guess I do.

I kept telling Dan that Thursday was "My Special Day". And on, "My Special Day" I should be able to do whatever I wanted! He agreed, but I guess he didn't quite realize that what I wanted was for him to treat me like a Queen and jump at my every request! ha! Bad servant boy! Off with his head!

No, not really. He brought me flowers and gave me a nice card, and that was sweet and those were definitely not expected, but MUCH appreciated! But, what this Queen really wanted was a MAID!

I spent the early part of My Special Day (I took the day off of work) getting my lesson ready for our Live BIG class on Sunday, that's the class I teach at church on Sunday's for our 4 and 5 year old kids. Our Sunday lesson was on Noah, and there were a LOT of animals to punch out for the kids' take home envelopes and lots of other things to do in preparation. And I wanted to make sure I had everything planned out really well since this was such a big lesson!

Then, it was on to cleaning and preparing a crock pot meal for our dinner. But, the cleaning got as far as vacuuming and sweeping the kitchen floor and that's where it ended. I did get to fold some laundry, but it didn't even look like I made a dent in it! And that's what upsets me and makes me wish I had a maid. The unfinishedness of everything. It feels like just when I get started on something, something else comes up and I have to stop that and move on to the other. Stop and Go, Stop and Go! Ugh! That really gets under my skin!!! Well, at least it really did on My Special Day!

I just wanted to be able to fully clean the house. If I could have fully cleaned the house, I would have felt such a weight lifted off of my shoulders and that would have been such a gift!

The reason I had to stop my cleaning and laundry folding was because I had to take Grant and Wyatt to their 2 year and 6 month check-ups. And, although, I was the one who scheduled the appointment, it just irritated me to have to leave my work in the midst of getting something accomplished! FRUSTRATING!

And, you know how it goes, once you get 'em home, there is no going back to cleaning, their needs need to be tended to. And there is no going back to folding laundry because the laundry pile is a Big, Exciting, Pile of Softness that is TOO Fun to jump into and frolic around in!

Maybe they should start making clothes with sandpaper exteriors, that would definitely diminish the excitement, wouldn't it?!? Ooooh, that is one scratchy pile of clothes, no thanks, I'll go jump off the couch onto a huge pile of pillows, each time narrowly missing the fireplace bricks and sending my Mom's heart into tachycardia! Now that's what I call FUN!

Oh, if only Mom's ran the world. So many things would be different!

Fireplace Hearths would be installed with custom removable cushions that specifically fit your hearth and would leave no sticky residue from trying to use those after-market foam bumper pads.

All Moms (and maybe Dads if that's how your house works) would be enrolled in a Handy Helper Club where one day a week your kids went to another Handy Helper's house for three or four hours, while you ran around your house cleaning pop tarts out of the carpet and marker off the walls and pureed squash from the ceiling! At no cost to you because you would be swapping out time! Ahhhhh, what a relief that would be!

Emergency Feminine Products would come standard in First Aid kits, because when you're wearing light colored pants, the need to avoid an embarrassing scene feels like an emergency! And you wouldn't have to find a woman, exclusively, to help a sister out!!

An alarm would go off anytime someone got into the "off limits" snack items of your pantry. Thus, avoiding the, "I'm sorry sweetie there aren't any more fruit roll-ups left for your lunch. Who ate them all? Well, I don't know. But it wasn't me." Though, I have a pretty darn good idea who did and He pays to put a roof over our heads, so I guess we can't cut-off his hands like they do in Arab countries. But, an alarm blaring would surely signal he was flying in a no-eat zone, wouldn't it?!?

And lastly, Mom's would make sure that all sippy cups were truly "leak-free" and not just a cup with a lid! This is why my carpet looks like I am a HUGE fan of brown polka dots!!!

Oh, My Special Day didn't turn out quite as I had expected, no maid, and I definitely retired the crown. Back to life as usual. Though, I will have to throw something out there to you all. When someone asks you what you want for your birthday or anniversary, and you respond, "oh nothing really," never overlook the inexpensive gift of time, help, and a little elbow grease!

WASH YOUR HANDS!

2008-09-13T06:42:00.004-05:00

Griffin: "Mom, smell my hand."

Me: "NO WAY!"

Griffin: "How'd you know it was in my butt?"

I'm a genius, honey.

Me: "Go wash your hands, with SOAP! And don't touch anything on your way to the bathroom Mr Poop Fingers!"

Sappy Day

2008-09-11T08:16:00.006-05:00

Some days are just meant to be reflective. I think that's true. I think some days we are meant to just be sort of weepy and sentimental and grateful. That's what pulls us back onto the road when we've ended up in the ditch from filling our trucks up too full! We drive around with these cargo loads full of things we've got going on, speeding down the road because there is no time to waste! We have appointments we need to make, and cards we should get in the mail, and emails we need to send, and schedules that have to be kept, and sometimes, it just all dumps over. It all just "doesn't go as planned".

These are our "Heaven Sent Moments For Reflection"

Last night we had class til 8:30, didn't leave the church til almost 9:00. Got home and gave the boys a snack then off to bed by 9:20 for Grant, 9:30 for Griffin, and almost 10:00 for Wy Wy (he's a night owl!)

So, needless to say, I was not in bed til 10:00. And Dan later than I.
It was then about 1:45 when Wy Wy woke up to have his nightly bottle. I gave him his drink and went back to bed, only to be awoken at 4:20 by Grant who slammed our bedroom door shut. He proceed to whine and cry trying to get into bed with me, but not wanting my help. And then, when help was allowed I was arranging his blankie wrong and he was yelling, "Noooooo!"
It wasn't much longer, after this, that Wy Wy woke up, imagine that!
Then, I tried to get the two of them back to sleep with a diaper change for Wy Wy and a "go nigh-nigh!" for Grant.
But, no such luck.
And, I'll admit it. I was upset. I am TIRED kids! I am sleepy! You are not supposed to wake before my alarm goes off, you AREN'T!
And, so, I went to the living room with Wy Wy, sternly telling Grant to go to sleep with Daddy it was too early to be up!
I rocked Wy Wy hoping he would fall back into a slumber and listened to Grant crying, "MaaaMaaa!" from our bedroom.
Less than a minute later, Grant was in the living room dragging his blankie behind him with a sad face that said, "Thanks a lot for leaving me!"

Ugh! I'm tried kids! Tired. And my thoughts went to God, "God, what are you trying to say here? What are you saying? I only need 6 hours of sleep. 6 hours of sleep that is inevitably interrupted at least once by a small infant?! What am I supposed to be learning from this?"
I was frustrated. "Why can't I ever get any rest?!!??!"

And it was on the way to work that I heard what He was saying.

I turned on the Christian Radio Station, and I was moved to tears.

My Heaven Sent Moment For Reflection is this, God lives in me. God believes in me so, and loves me so, that he has graced me with this busy life. With THREE BEAUTIFUL BOYS, and a WONDERFUL and TALENTED husband (whom I take for granted!), and a great job, and a house to call a home, and a neighborhood to be proud of, and friends who could never be replaced. I am blessed! My gifts are HUGE! I am living the dream!

So, sometimes things are not going to go as planned. Sometimes my days are going to be fueled by the ever-blessed coffee in my cup. But even when I'm running on empty His spirit lives inside of me, and that is all I need to go on. All I need to talk down that negativity, and all I need to remind me of my blessings. I have been renewed, even without the 8 hours of sleep I so desperately wish for. It's coming Carrie, and until then, be rejuvenated in your blessings and in the positivity that surrounds you!
Can anyone tell I'm crying?!? I am such a Sap!

When it Rains it Pours!

2008-09-09T12:20:00.014-05:00

Let's get right to it. There's a lot to see here!!

Devilishly handsome, isn't he?!?!
Wy Wy loves bouncing in his Jumperoo! And that fly he's stuffing in his mouth is becoming intimately familiar with Mr. Wy Wy's tonsils!

Grant loved the new Cars movie cars he got from the Heaths (our neighbors and friends). I layed in bed with him this day trying to get him to settle down and take a nap. Well, he stuck the Ramone car in his mouth like it was a kazoo and blew into it while humming for a good three minutes, before easing off to sleep. I couldn't resist getting a photo of poor Ramone hanging out of Grant's mouth! "No please, don't eat me!!!"

Wyatt trying Mashed Potatoes for the first time. He wanted to kiss me for giving him this heaven sent delicacy!

I took these pictures Saturday. My boys. Precious!

These are the "milestone" 6 month photos I took of Wyatt. Doesn't he look handsome in his little sweater vest? The shirt has a flaming heart on it and says, "I Love Mom" guess you're wondering who bought him that one, huh?!

And, last, I had to include this photo of Wy Wy puttering his lips. He does it all the time, and looks so adorable! Those cheeks look even chubbier when he does this! Mommie's little sweetie! I love you!

Grant is 2!!!

2008-09-09T10:25:00.009-05:00

Okay, finally getting posted the pictures of Grant on his 2nd birthday. He had a good day. I'm pretty sure he had no idea why we were singing to him or why he got to open some presents, but there was no complaining from him about eating cake and getting gifts!

So, here are some photos to amuse you.

LOUD!!!!!

2008-09-02T08:14:00.003-05:00

Grant's birthday was this weekend. He turned 2!! Yay!! I will have pictures to share in my next post (I, of course, do not have my camera with me to upload the pictures today, shocker!)

But, I had to take a minute to tell you all about something that made me laugh til I almost piddled myself! Seriously, too funny!!

You know how Grant is such a screamer, right?!? Well, if you haven't experienced his screaming, you're lucky. But, for all of you who have, you know he is LOUD!!!! And PERSISTANT!!! MAAAAAMMMMMAAAA!!! Is his normal "inside" voice when calling for me!

Anyway, yesterday, we were laying on the bottom bunk of the bunk beds watching the movie Cars, when Kendyl, who was over visiting and also watching the movie from the squishy confines of the bunk, got out Griffin's Flash Cards and started asking him what each letter was.

She held up a G, "What's this letter Griffin?"

"G"

"Good job!" and she put the card down.

"What's this letter Griffin?"

"Um, uh, oh D."

"Good Job!" and she puts the card down.

Well, while this was happening Grant stopped paying attention to the movie and turned and sat quietly by Kendyl's side watching as she asked Griffin his letters. When she laid the cards down, she laid them in front of Grant. So, the next thing I know, it's not only Kendyl asking Griffin what a letter is, but it's Grant, too.

"Griffin, What's this letter?"

"Ummm, hmmm...."

Grant: "Bubba. Ish-shhi-shi?" holding up the D Kendyl had laid down just before.

Kendyl: "What's this letter Griffin? It starts your last name???"

"Ummm, N? Uh, no wait, ummmmm....."

Grant: "Bubba. Bubba. BUBBBBBBBAAA!!! Ish-shhi-shi?? BUBBBBBBBAAAAA!!!"

Griffin: "What Grant?"

Grant: "Ish-shhi-shi?"

Griffin: "D. That's a D."

Grant: "Mhhhm, D. "

Kendyl: "So, Griffin, What's this letter?"

Griffin: "Oh yeah, uh, hmm, uh, V? No wait C. Uh, no....."

Grant holding up the same D card as before...

Grant: "Bubba. Bubba. BUBBBBBBAAA!!!! Bubba."

Griffin: "Uh, is it a P? No, a G, no..."

Kendyl: "C'mon Griffin you know this one. It's the first letter of your last name."

Griffin: "Oh yeah, ummmm...."

Grant still holding up the D card...

Grant: "Bubba. BUUUUUUBBBBBBBAAAA!!!! Bubba, Bubba!"

Griffin: "What Grant????"

Grant: "Bubba, Ish-shhi-shi?"

Griffin: "That's a D, Grant!"

Grant: "Mhmm, D. O-kay-ee."

This holding up of the D card continued for like 10 minutes. It was always the same, Griffin ignoring Grant, trying to answer Kendyl's flash card inquiries, and Grant laboriously trying to get Griffin to pay attention to him by SCREAMING his name just inches from his face, while holding up the very important D card!

It had me in tears! I swear my abdominal muscles hurt I was laughing so hard. And, Griffin, who was at first annoyed by Grant, was laughing as well, and was puposely avoiding answering Grant because seeing Grant get so fired up over the damn D card was hilarious! Kendyl was rolling too. We were all just cracking up over Grant and his INTENSE BUUUUUBBBBBBBAAAA!!! And then his quite calm, "Ish-shhi-shi? D. O-kay-ee." It was just gut-busting!

I never want to forget this, even though Grant's screaming drives me crazy most of the time. It can be super hilarious too! That's why I'm blogging about it now and sharing it with all of you. O-kay-ee??

You'll Be Missed...

2008-08-27T07:59:00.007-05:00

Death is hard. It just comes out of nowhere, bites you in the butt, and screams "REALITY CHECK!"

My uncle Roger died last week. He was 66. Only 66 years on this planet. The most recent statistics I could find stated that the average white US male lives to 76 in today's world. And by my math that's 10 years more than he got.

If you're thinking I feel Roger got jipped, you're wrong. I'm kind of surprised he made it to 66! Glad that he did, but surprised nonetheless.

You see, Roger was a daredevil. An envelope pusher. A spit in the eye of fear if it looked at me wrong, kind of guy. Oh, he did his fair share of drinking and smoking and those are the things that finally did him in. But, it's amazing to me that his boundary-pushing didn't get him sooner.

There are so many stories I have heard over the years about Roger and his exploits. Oh he once punched a wooden Indian for "looking at him wrong" of course he was in a compromised state at the time, but hey, that Indian did have a shifty eye!

Uncle Roger and my Dad used to build and race stock cars, the thrill-seeking boys they were. The stories I have heard remind me of the Duke boys. Out jumpin and racing and gettin' into trouble with the law, "Oooooooheee, Luke, somethin's goin' down at the ole' Hazzard County Mine, we best go have a look."

There was another time, my Dad recently told me, when he and Roger were out cruisin' around with Roger driving my dad's car when out of nowhere Roger jerks the steering wheel to the right and starts driving down the sidewalk! As if to say, Look, no mischief is happening, so let's create some!

And, of course, who could forget the time young Roger, aka Cochise, shot a flaming arrow into the side of the family home, and started the house ablaze!!!!!!

Ahhhh the memories....

But, Roger was a good guy. In fact, he was my godfather. With three daughters of his own, Roger was pretty good at knowing what a little girl would like. So, my birthday and Christmas gifts were always fitting for my age and were most often the presents I cherished the most.

But, the one thing I can remember about my uncle Roger was he was always interested in me. He always had time for me. As a little girl, he would always ask me how I was doing, and wonder if I was having an okay time with school, my brothers, boys, etc. He always listened and he always cared.

I think Roger would have liked this blog. He would have liked that I was saying what was on my mind and giving people a glimpse into our humorous lives. He would have smiled knowing I was outwardly expressing my adoring affection for my children, and etching their stories into the hearts of all of you. Thus, making sure people will remember them. I hope by telling you these uncle Roger stories you know a little more about the man he was and will never forget him like I never will.

Grant's Got a Haircut Looks Like A......

2008-08-20T08:00:00.005-05:00

Just had to share. Grant and Griffin both got haircuts on Sunday, via this great salon, "Momma's Got Scissors". I'm sure many of you have been to this salon. I know my Mom always cut my brothers' hair and has cut my Step-Dad's hair for almost as long as they've been married. So, seems fitting that her daughter would follow in her Beautician By Necessity Not Licensing foot steps.

And this weekend's haircuts were far from the first ones I've given, but only the second one I had ever given to Grant. And he didn't like it at ALL!

I said, after this haircut, that if this had been his first one, I might have wondered if there was power in his locks like the story of Samson. Everytime I cut a chunk of hair off, he screamed at the top of his lungs and cried with ferocious intensity. He was PISSED! I was actually so taken aback by his fierceness that I took a second, standing there, wondering, "Am I hurting him in some way?"

I've never seen him get so upset about anything like he did with this! I'm sure, based on the way he reacted, that he felt this was bordering on abuse!

Well, too bad for him I am not going to stop my hair-dressing ways. Nope, too darn much money to take 'em to the salon when "Momma's Got Scissors" is cutting hair for free!

Thought you'd enjoy these photos I took right after the ordeal.

In the first one he's smack in the middle of a fit, in the second he's calming down a bit, and in the third, he's mad because I am taking his picture and "Can't you see I'm REALLY upset over here! Put that camera AWAY!!"

Hee Hee I'm such a bad mommie! But a good historian! Now you have a picture of this fit to look back upon and laugh about! Or curse me. Either way, I've committed this event to film and shared with others! I know don't you just love me?!?!! XOXOX, The Paparazzi, aka Mom

Let's Do Something GREAT!!!

2008-08-15T07:42:00.014-05:00

******I've edited this since I first posted, now you can click on the links! YAY! Thanks Lynette for figuring out what I needed to do. It's good to have geniuses for friends!!!

Okay not sure how this will work, but I am trying out my tech-y skills here, so let's see if this "copy" worked...

Darn it!
Okay, so I just copied the link, let's see if this works....

It didn't. Big fat surprise, I'm mentally challenged on these sorts of things!

Here's what I am asking folks to do.
There is a link to a paypal account that has been setup for donations (you can find it on the last page I have linked here in this post.) This donated money is going to buy Nintendo DS's for some less-fortunate kids and the rest will be donated to our awesome local hospital, maybe you've heard of it..... St Jude's???

Let me first take you through what I've been reading. Then you'll have a greater understanding for what I'm talking about

The saga begins with this post:

http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/2008/08/no-not-upset-livid.html

........................................................
it gets better with this post:

http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/2008/08/pleasantly-surprised.html
........................................................

It's a totally freakin' awesome "happy ending" in this post:

http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/2008/08/wow.html
.........................................................

And these next ones will give you a better idea as to why I am urging you to join me in doing something GREAT!!

http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/2008/08/forward.html
http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/2008/08/so-far.html
http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/2008/08/what-opportunity.html
..........................................................

So, if you're not crying well, then you just aren't as tender-hearted as me, and that's okay! But, you know me, I was bawling like a baby hearing about people helping people, and people helping kids, and well, I just enjoy a good love-fest!

To get all of you comfortable with this blogger, let me say, that she is an AMAZING person! She would help anyone, anywhere, with anything! And what she is doing here for her daughter, helping her foster the giving spirit her daughter has, is just wonderful, terrific, spectacular, marvelous, inspiring..........

I, as many of you know, would work for free and give all my money to the poor if I didn't have a family to help support and bills to pay. But, I believe whole-heartedly in giving when you can, tithing my 10%, and giving God all the glory for all that I have! He has given all of us SOO much, and every day that He graces me with, I am more than grateful for!

This life is what we make of it. What we choose to do with it. And hopefully, if we listen to the little voice in our hearts, what God intends for us. I have found in recent months that what God intends for me to do with my life, is to help others. To Spread Joy. To Inspire Kindness. To teach my children these mentioned, and also, what it means to be humble and what it feels like to walk a day in someone else's shoes. Help them find that compassion for others. It is my job. The most important one I have!

I am not sure what the rest of you feel, what the rest of you see as God's intent for you. But, I know that every one of you is a caring and loving and giving individual! I know this because you are my friends, relatives, and role-models. EVERY one of you has given me something that has made me into who I am at work, at home, at church, in the community, as a mother, as a wife, as a sister, as a daughter......

Each and every one of you has given me so much that I feel the great desire to help others in any way I can. And this opportunity to give, is something I felt compelled to share with all of you!

So, please, take a well-deserved moment, to read the links I have posted. Please, look within your hearts, and ask God for His guidance, but please, at least think about donating.

And let me know what you think, what you feel, if you have other ideas for donations, etc.
I am so very blessed to have you all in my life! I hope you all feel that from me!

Much, Much Love To Everyone!
Carrie

Hawkeyes!

2008-08-13T07:59:00.005-05:00

These pics aren't so good.... Darn IT!!! I forgot to use the flash!

It was early, I was tired, big surprise I know!, and running late for work. But, they looked soooo cute in their matching Hawkeye gear that I had to stop and take some photos before Wy Wy puked all over his, before Griffin decided it was dumb, and before Grant just decided naked was better! his belief not mine! might be mine if I looked as cute as he did!!!

Many thanks Dad, Lola, Danny, and Katie for buying these and bringing them down from Iowa when you visited in March. Way cute! And we miss you!

But, anyway, I thought you all would enjoy seeing the kids, no matter the quality of the photos, since these ARE three of the cutest boys on the planet!!!

My walls even look lime green! Ugh! Bad photographer!! Oh Well!

No Name Necessary.....

2008-08-08T08:34:00.005-05:00

Griffin was really tired after his first day of school. Normally he is a really talkative kid, but not so much this afternoon. He must've been REALLY worn out if he didn't have a lot to say! He did say this little bit, and I thought I would share.

Me: "Griffin, did you have a good first day of school?"

Griffin: "Mmhm"

Me: "Did you make any new friends?"

Griffin: "Mmhm"

Me: "Do you know any of the names of the kids you met today? Who was the boy you sat next to in lunch? Do you remember?"

Griffin: "Hmmmm, I can't me-member, Mom. Let me think. Ummmm, oh, the boy with the blue shirt on? Oh, hhhmmm. That boy, oh, I me-member now, his name is Austin. Yeah, he's my friend."

Me: "Oh, Austin. Okay, that's cool. I'm glad you made a friend. Did you make any other new friends?"

Griffin: "Um, yeah. That kid in the SpongeBob shirt, you know that kid, Mom?"

Me (laughing under my breath, how would I know the boy in the SpongeBob shirt? Maybe he thinks I have Psychic powers like him??): "No, I don't think so."

Griffin: "Well, the boy in the SpongeBob shirt and I shared cookies. Yeah, he's my friend."

Now, the next day I asked him if he had played with these same above mentioned boys, and he said no. Austin, the boy in the blue shirt, played with other kids and so did he. And the boy in the SpongeBob shirt wasn't there. I think he was there, he just wore a different shirt, and how could Griffin identify him now?!? HA!
.......................................................................

Monday, Dan and I told Griffin he could ride the bus to school. He has been wanting to ride the bus since day one, but Dan and I were leery of it, and wanted to make sure he was comfortable in his new surroundings before we fed him to the wolves. I had asked him, "Won't it be a little scary riding the bus Griffin?"

He said, very matter-of-factly, "No, Mom. Buses are not scary. Quit saying that. Buses are for kids. You get on and you sit down and you do what the bus driver tells you. They're not scary Mom. There aren't any monsters on the bus, so they're not scary!" With an implied Duh! on the end.

So, now you know! No monsters on buses, therefore, they are not scary! And, well, that does make sense!
.....................................................................

Upon picking Griffin up from After-Care, "Mom, I rode the bus here, too!"

"I know Honey! I heard you came here with another one of the kids from your class, Wilson."

Griffin: "No Mom. His name is Austin. Me-member? He's the one I told you about. The kid in the blue shirt, me-member?!"

Me: "I remember, Honey, yes. But that little boy's name is Wilson not Austin. Your teacher told me."

Griffin: "Oh, the kid in the blue shirt? Wilson?! Oh, I thought he was Austin. Well, he's my friend and we came here together. We had fun."

The moral of these stories... it is totally proper to have friends whose names you do not know, or names you just make up, when you're 5. At 5, it doesn't even matter if you have a name, you can just be "boy in SpongeBob shirt" and in your young heart they are your new best friend! Don't you me-member what that was like?

And So, His Education Begins.....

2008-08-06T14:29:00.007-05:00

Griffin statement:
"But Mom, we can't leave yet, I haven't even learned anything!"

In response to my telling him we needed to leave his classroom, on his Meet the Teacher Day. Oh, sweet, funny boy!

Later, after we left, I was telling him that I was kind of sad because he was getting so big and now that he was going to school he wasn't my baby anymore. He said, "Mom, I'll still be your little boy, and you still have Grant and Wyatt, too. We'll always be your little boys." I almost cried. And I'm tearing up just typing it now!

For all of you who have been reading the blog for a while, or for all of you who know Griffin, you know that he is a very articulate and quite sensitive boy. So, these words of wisdom are not surprising. Though, they still stop me in my tracks. His sheer empathetic capacity and the emotional maturity he sometimes displays, just leave me speechless sometimes!

Well, today was Griffin's first day of school. His teacher Mrs. King (who goes by her first name Miss Danielle) and her assistant Miss Tina, seem like really sweet and loving ladies who will be a great match for Griffin. I think they will just foster his desire to learn so well, and am really excited to have them as his first educational leaders!

I am sure you all would like to see a picture or two of Griffin on his first day of school so I have posetd them below. Let me first just say that there was absolutely no point to my buying Griffin, School Clothes! This morning when he got up and waded through his trash heap bedroom, the clothes he decided to put on were, of course, none of the new pieces he helped me pick out this summer. Nope! Instead, he put on an old hand-me-down T-Shirt, a fine shirt, just not what I had anticipated he would wear on his "first day". And a pair of track pants that were hand-me-down, too!

I insisted that he change out of pants since the temperature today will be in the high 90's, and he did choose, then, to wear a pair of shorts that were bought for school this summer. But, out of all of the clothes that he helped me pick out for school, those shorts and two shirts are all he wants to wear. Everything else is "dumb", and he told Dan the other day, he didn't want to wear a pair of the shorts because, "they make me look fat!" Dan's comment here was, "Wonder where he's heard that before?!?" But I swear it wasn't from me! I may think I look fat in everything I put on, but I don't say it. I just think it. Maybe Griffin is psychic and we're just now finding out, huh?!?! Yeah, he'll be the next cast member on that NBC series Heroes! Griffin the Psychic Happiest in Hand-Me-DownsKid!

Though, I guess I should be grateful he isn't that into clothes and what-not. He likes what he likes. He thinks he looks cool. It's definitely very different from what "cool" really looks like, but hey, maybe he'll be one of those trend-setters some day. Just weird enough for people to say, "Hey, that's a little weird, but something about it feels cool. I'm going to have to get me one of those." I'll keep you posted on how that plays out! But, for now, here are the photos Dan sent me from his phone (which is why the picture quality isn't as good as usual.)
ENJOY!

Oh, and check out what he does with his socks! He rolls them down! It's hilarious! And any time I say, "Griffin, that looks weird." He says, "No it doesn't Mom!", and proceeds to purposefully pull them all the way up his calf, fold the top seam down upon itself, and then roll with precision, til the "donut" rings his ankle! He's such a goof!

I Survived!!

2008-08-04T09:37:00.007-05:00

Was just reading my Mom's comment, from my last post, about the weekend, and it made me laugh! Jeanne is right Mom! You would try to paint the moon if you had a ladder tall enough! Ha!

Just thought I should post something of this weekend's outcome, since I'm sure you all are surprised I am even alive and typing today!

I, of course, had to work late on Friday. Always happens that way doesn't it? You have a plan and something comes along and gets you off schedule. Well, guess perfection is still just out of reach for me! That late arrival put me late picking up the kids and late getting dinner ready for our company, Dan's Mom and Dad, who arrived Friday evening. Really do apologize for that George and Sherrill, I had planned on getting dinner on the table before 7:00pm, I promise!

And, my late arrival put other things off schedule, too. Like, finalizing my grocery list, working out this month's budget (Dan and I still haven't finished that!), cleaning the house, getting the garage sale stuff pulled out to at least the garage, and a whole long list of other things I hoped I could accomplish.

But, alas, I am but one person with very high expectations for myself! And you too, honey, I know I hold you to a high standard too, but whether you think it or not, you do meet my expectations almost all of the time! You're a great man and I'm lucky to have you!

So, on to Saturday. I planned on having our garage sale stuff priced and all in the wee hours of the morning with stuff out in the driveway by 7:00am, at the latest. Let me preface by stating that I was only having the sale since my neighbor was having one (I was piggy-backing off of him, he put the signs up, and I would share in the draw of customers! I'm such a MOOCH!)

But, by 6:30am I didn't see Kenny out, nor did I see any stuff. So, I thought, "Well, guess I have plenty of time to get done what I set out to accomplish since we aren't having a garage sale."

At 7:45am I look outside and to my surprise, there is Kenny and there are customers!! So, I run into the bedroom, wake up Dan, telling him we gotta get stuff movin', customers are flocking to Kenny's sale and we're not in on it!

So, one solid push later, and Dan was up and out of bed, ready and rarin' to go! Ha! If you knew my husband and his feelings about getting up in the morning, this would really be funny to you! Then, it was a mad dash to get everything out and assembled into some sense of organization. Clothes would have to be sold at a later date, no time for that, but everything else was out and displayed by 8:30am. Come by our junk, please!!

We were open for approximately 3 hours and made $120. If you ask me, that's a pretty good return on our efforts! Little did I know, that that $120 would last approximately 2.6 seconds in the hands of my hubby who did our grocery shopping. My words exactly were, "Honey, this is why I do the shopping. A $600 monthly grocery budget would not last more than a couple of weeks if you were the one shopping for the family." But, it was a HUGE help to have him do the weekly foraging since I was at home washing, drying, and folding load upon load of laundry, feeding and entertaining little ones, and doing my best to keep the lists in my head from reaching a size no person could surmount not even me with my super powers!

Though, now I have to figure out a way to make $220 last me the rest of the month. Anyone have food stamps they aren't using?!? No, actually, I just looked at the calendar and since we have 5 Fridays in August, I will have $370 to last me til the end of the month! Yay!!!! I'll let you know how that goes. We may be selling babies at a cheap rate if food money runs dry!

Well, Saturday afternoon came and went quickly. There was the arrival of Dan's sister and boyfriend, the juggling of kids from one neighbor's house to another's, the planning and re-planning of the next day's events, an attempt at getting this done and this done and that done, and just general dis-organization for which I was steadily trying to stay on top of!

Late Saturday afternoon, my Mom and Jerry arrived and we were just about to serve KFC's finest, so they were right on time! Oh, and everyone was treated to the birthday cake JeanAnn made for Grant. (Dan's family wanted to celebrate Grant's birthday early since they would not make his actual birth day. Grant received a rocking pony from Nanny and Poppa, yee-ha! Grant likes it, but Griffin likes it more!)

After a quick clean-up of dinner, thanks to everyone for that, it was time to start prepping the food for Sunday. My Mom and Jerry helped me in the kitchen making the party fare for Sunday's Baptism. The tasks were not too difficult, just numerous!!! Though, we did finish by 10:00pm. We were finished, Dan wasn't. He was just starting the smoking of the Boston Butts. Poor guy! I was in bed by 11:30pm.

At 5:00am it was up with Wy Wy, not too much later, a tired Grant peered into the living room. And, not long after that, a grumpy Griffin awoke. Just what I needed tired, grumpy kids for an event-ladened day! Yippee!

Mom and Jerry made their way back to our house for early am help. What a sight for sore, sleepy-eyes they were!

With everyone dressed in coordinating outifits, we were ready and out of the house to arrive at church at exactly 8:45am! Yeah, church starts at 8:45am! Thank God they waited and didn't start without us!! (And thank you sooooo much Bryce, Lynn and the kids for coming to the Baptism even though you had much to do at your own house! I was soooo thrilled to see you all!)

The Baptism went pretty well. There was no crying, just a wriggly, fidgetty, tired and ornery almost two year old who tested my strength and agility when holding him. Grant did not want me to keep him managed! Too bad for him Mommy is stronger than he is (I'm sure this stage will not last long! He's already a tough little guy who tests me daily!) Other than that, though, it was a pretty ordinary event.

Afterwards, on the way back home, I proclaimed that no one would change clothes until we had all had our family picture taken. This seemed like not such a bad idea. But, when we got home, I realized there was no one there to take the photo! Everyone had either gone back to the hotel to check out, or to Walmart to pick-up the cake! Well, crap!

Dan, ever the Boy-Scout, said we could just put the camera on a tripod and take our own picture. I was like, "Uh yeah, we could. Though, we don't have a tripod!" Guess again. We DO have a tripod! It came with the laser level Dan's parents got him for Christmas a few years ago, and it worked for our camera! YAY!

Good idea, Honey. Though, it took so long to get it set up and figured out that Mom and Jerry were there by the time we started taking the first photos. Oh well, it's still nice to know that it can be used in that way!

Once the pictures were taken, it was back to the kitchen and the food. Our menu consisted of a Fresh Fruit Tray w/Honey Yogurt Dip, a Veggie Tray w/Ranch Dip, a Strawberry French Toast Casserole, Bacon-Hashbrown Casserole, Blueberry Cobbler (thanks Sherrill), Coleslaw, Pulled-Pork Sandwiches, and a White Baptismal Cake that read, "Happy Baptism Grant and Wyatt". Thanks Mom for that!

It was a whirlwind of activity, but memory-making nonetheless. Oh, and Dan and I were reminded on Sunday that our church had a swim party at the YMCA that evening. So, after a period of clean-up and well-deserved rest, it was on to that party Sunday night!

I'll say it myself, I'm pooped! And, if I ever plan so much for a weekend again, I pray that Amanda will hide in a tree and shoot me with a tranquilizer dart! Somebody needs to! My poor, poor husband! Oh, and here are some photos from Sunday. Pretty darn good-looking crew, I must say!

Super Procrastinator

2008-08-01T05:41:00.020-05:00

Just wanted to tell everyone about my plans for the weekend.

We have reached the beginning of the month, so finally, I have grocery money, again! Yay! The kids were getting pretty sick of me trying to feed them cardboard "But it's good fiber!" So, watch out Walmart here I come! Much shopping will ensue!

Dan's folks are coming in this afternoon. They are here to spend the weekend and celebrate Grant's birthday, early. And, since they were coming in, and Dan's sister JeanAnn and her boyfriend, Jason, on Saturday, I decided I should try and get the two youngest baptized.

So, one frantic, pleading email later, and Grant and Wyatt are being baptized on Sunday! Yay! I love it when a plan comes together. But, no time for singing my praises, got more stuff to do!!!

Now we can officially add Baptism to the weekend's events! Complete with a drop-in brunch for all of our family and friends, afterwards. Much, much to do on this part of the weekend!

Of course, my Mom and Step-Dad could not be left out of the weekend since, now, there is a Baptism happening. So, they too, will arrive on Saturday.

Have I mentioned yet that on Saturday morning, we are supposed to have a Garage Sale? I just love packing as much as I can into a weekend! I still have all those un-used toys jamming-up my closet, and of course Dan thinks I have lots of other useless stuff, so all of these "useless" items will be sold or given away on Saturday. Oh joy, cannot wait to wake up yet another morning before the dawn even cracks in order to get everything accomplished!

My Dan will help in the following ways:
1) he will commence by telling me how un-organized I am and how I have, yet again, tried to pack too much into one weekend! he's of course, right.
2) he will surely end up being the one to get all of the "useless" stuff priced and organized because I always have good intentions, but not so good follow-through he's just so good at these sorts of things!
3) I've enlisted him to smoke a piece of meat, still haven't decided what farm animal to serve yet, I'll let you know I'm sure you're on pins and needles, since he did such a good job on the turkeys last month.
4) I will allow him free reign over the liquor cabinet. He is going to need it dealing with a fully-crazed, under-slept, over-stressed wife. Drink-up, Honey, remember why you love me!

I, on the other hand, still have a cake to order for the Sunday affair. Probably should have done that days ago! But, hey why do it then, when I still have 48 minutes to get it done within my allotted 24 hour pre-order time-frame! Still have all that shopping to get done at Wally-world, and Sam's. Have a bazillion boxes to go through in the attic, to find more "useless" junk to get rid of. Still have a house that needs cleaning from the top down. Laundry that just keeps piling-up, and a million other things I'd like to try and accomplish on top of this already loaded schedule. I even contemplated painting my kitchen! Seriously!!! But, I have been wanting to do it, and my Mom is a stellar painter, and well, she loves me, she'd help! Yeah, I have a problem! Quit trying to out-do yourself!

Ehhem, back to the itinerary......

Now, the matching Sunday outfits have been purchased, Thank GOD, just gotta make sure both Dan and I have cleaned and pressed shirts and pants for Sunday (it would only be proper that we all be wearing the same color scheme! But, who am I kidding, they'll be clean, that's as much as I can promise! Wrinkles will have to be hidden or blamed on children who still require carrying!)

Oh, and did I tell you yet that I've been up since 3:42am!

But, for all of you who do not know me well, let me just give you some insight. It wouldn't be like me to plan an event for months in advance and be calm and cool. No, that'd be someone else. I like to see just how much I can fit into any one day or one weekend, etc. Oh, and procrastinate a bit during the whole process so that when it comes to "Party Day" my stomach is in knots, my blood-pressure is sky-high, and my list of to-do's seems un-doable! Oh, but au contraire, I can do it! I'm Super Procrastinator! I may put things off, but when the time comes, I get the job done with my my super human skills!!!

So, now that you know who you are dealing with. Let me ask for your forgiveness now. Please forgive me if you plan on attending this weekend's events because I will be the blur you see rushing past you on a mission to do the "un-doable". And, if I begin a conversation or a thought with you and then stop half-way through, just remind me of what I was saying because I am sure some other unfinished task has crept it's villainous head into view and my super powers, though super, are at work, which limits me in memory. But, I do have super powers, mixed with A.D.D., and a control problem, but they're sure super!

Well, anyway, just thought I would give you all a run down of what will be going on here. And, too, it's now 6:05am, and I should be getting ready for work, but really, that would not be like me! No, I have plenty of time! Enough that I just had to take a minute to tell you all what was going on! AHHHHHHH! Why do I do this to myself! I definitely win the award for Procrastination! But, coupled with my Super Powers I am a force to reckon with!

And an apology to my husband, "You are right, Honey. I am a Procrastinator!" I'm sorry that I try to argue with you about my procrastination! It's just hard to admit to when your mind thinks, "What? Can't you see what I am capable of?! I'm Super, and a Procrastinator, but SUPER nonetheless. And you have to admit, I'm getting it done, aren't I?!" See my side more clearly now???

Best be going now. Off to tackle another insurmountable task! Super Hero theme song playing in the background.

Your Friend,
Super Procrastinator

Good Things!

2008-07-28T08:03:00.003-05:00

Someone said to me the other day that "People seem to take for granted that we are 'living the blessing'!" And I thought, "Wow! How true!"

So, the challenge to myself, then, was to come up with some things I think are good things and continue, each day, to make a conscious effort to recognize at least one or two of these blessings. So, here's my list so far:

1) Invisible Deodorant! Invisible, meaning, It won't show up on my shirt after I pull it over my head! Wow! I love that!

2) Coffee. Oh, no morning is quite as good without a nice cup of joe!

3) Clothing. Because without it, we'd all be walking around naked, and I can't tell you how uncomfortable that would make me!!

4) Email. It's such a cool way to stay connected with people! In this world, where a lot of us seem to end up miles away from home, email is such an awesome way to keep in touch!

5) Disposable Diapers! Hate that they're not environmentally friendly, but love that I do not have to rubber-pant my kid and wash poopy diapers out in the toilet! Man, you women who have walked down the cloth diaper road, high-five! Seriously! That's some awesome turn-off of the gag-reflex that you must have!!!

6) The Jumperoo and ExerSaucer. Monumental achievement here Fisher-Price and Evenflo! Entertainment for the wee ones! YAY! Mommy's arms finally got a rest!

7) Grilled Hamburgers, or if you prefer, Cheeseburgers, or if you prefer Veggie-Burgers. Something about a bun, a piece of protein, lettuce, tomato, pickles, etc, etc. Just nothing like it on the planet! That's good eatin'!

8) Cheese Curds. Oh Daddy, I know you're with me on this one!?! So fresh they "squeak" when you bite in, nothing better ('cept, maybe FRIED CHEESE CURDS, oh, yeah, yum, yum, yum!!)

9) Pictures. They make you laugh, they make you cry, they remind you of a place and time, and without them, we'd never have seen Britney Spears' bits. And we all know how important that was!!!

10) Lip Balm. Oh, lips are dry, cracking, hurting like the dickens, what do you search through your purse for? Lip-Balm. Whether it be Chap-Stick, Blistex, Lip Smackers, or Burt's Bees, nothing else will do. Lip-Balm is miraculous! And tasty, too! (ha that rhymed!)

Take a minute, here folks, to think of all of the Good Things in your life, and tell me about them! I could have gotten sappy with this because for sure, my husband, and kids, and friends are good things. But, I felt like this was a fun way of paying homage to the things that make life simpler and more enjoyable. It's a wonderful world we live in, chock-full of amenities some people would kill to have at their fingertips! So tell me about Your favorites!!!

Sweet Baby Boys

2008-07-22T07:58:00.005-05:00

Thought I would lighten things up for everyone a bit.

This morning I had to run to the store for diapers. Grant was just about out of them at the babysitter's and I didn't have a chance to get there last night.

So, it was up at 3:45am with Wy Wy who was screaming bloody murder! Seriously folks. I am not kidding! You have never heard anything like what he has taken to doing recently. He screams with such intensity I think he will surely vomit from the forceful abdominal thrusts he must be exercising! It is ridiculous! In fact, the other night, my neighbor Leanne was over and heard him crying like that and said, "Holy Crap. That was Wyatt?!? He's so upset! You'd think someone was in their cutting off one of his limbs!!" See what I'm sayin' now? Yeah, it's bad! Dan and I thought that by the third kid we would have nerves of steel, but this scream that he does is enough to make an LAX Air-Traffic Controller crack! It's un-nerving!!!

Well, Wy Wy was screaming, Dan alerted me to the rant. I mean I must have been really tired if I didn't hear him and Dan did! I think this might be a sign of the Apocalypse! So, I walk briskly to the kitchen where I open the fridge to find the bottle I had made before going to sleep only had 3 ounces in it. Um, yeah, thanks for feeding him Honey, before you came to bed, but next time leave the bottle full! We've got a child who is losing a limb here!

Anyway, so, off to the microwave to heat that bit up (Sorry if some of you parents out there think heating the bottle up in the microwave is bad. You can send me all the hate mail you want. I will still proceed with business as usual because when it's 3:45 in the morning I see the microwave as God's little miracle for mothers of newborns!) Then it's on with the faucet, and you know what running water does to a person who has birthed three children? So, then, it's a sprint to the bathroom. All while little Wy Wy is thinking, "Why does no one care for my pain?!? Evil, Evil Woman" Then, it's back to the microwave, over to the faucet, three scoops into the bottle, or maybe it was 4 or 5 or geez, really who can count at 3 in the morning?! Then, a dash to baby Wy Wy, bottle in tow, or maybe we should call it a silencer?!?! And, finally, relief for Wy Wy, relief for Mommy, relief for Mommy's itsy-bitsy bladder, oh, we were just all so relieved!

Well, I thought hard about feeding Wy Wy, and just staying awake til he was settled back down. Then, getting ready for work, and off to the store for diapers. And that's the last thought I had before I woke up to my alarm blaring in the bedroom. Well, that plan didn't work.

So, it's now 5:40am, and I must leave the house in an hour or less, or more, depending on if I drive like Mario Andretti, or like a peaceful, law-abiding inhabitant of the road. Ahh, isn't this nice, I'm in no hurry. Uh, yeah, fat chance! Outta my way Grandma! I have somewhere to be!!!

That means a quick brush of the teeth, I did brush them, didn't I?! A quick bathing of the necessaries (Okay, ladies, tell me when did this become part of your routine? Have you or do you always take a shower every morning? I used to. I had to. My hair was like a greasy oil slick if I didn't, but I guess, with age, my skin and scalp have dried, so I only have to wash my hair every other day. Lucky for me, since the clock is always ticking!) So, with a change of clothes, a splash of water, a finger comb of the hair, a quick check to make sure everyone was still sleeping, I was out the door. At 5:49, might I add?!?!?

Walmart is so close to my house I can drive there, park, walk to the back of the store for the diapers, check out, walk back to the van (yes, mini-van! For all of you who did not know, Dan and I bought a mini-van a year ago, and have become card-carrying members of the Kid-Schlepping Gang! We're proud of it, too, err, at least I am, Dan has still not totally come to terms with it. There-there Honey, it'll be all right. Want me to get you a new drill, a Playboy, a cigar, Hmm? Will that bring the masculinity back?!) Then, it's a somewhat leisurely drive home hitting the door in under 20 minutes!

Man, that's the best! I cannot even imagine what it must have been like for my Mom who would have to drive, what, 30 minutes or more, just to get to the grocery store from our rural farm!??!! And it wasn't even a Walmart, it was a Super Value grocery store! Yeah, if she needed nails to bulk up the barricaded doors of our rooms, she'd have to drive on down to the Tru-Value, another few minutes away. I jest Mother, everyone knows you didn't board up our doors! Just the windows, it was locks on the doors! Ha, just kidding!

When I got to our front door, I quietly crept in and listened first to make sure I could still only hear the melodic hums of deep slumbering children, and Dan's more pudding snorting sounds, and determined all was well. I had made it to the store and back with nary a change in sight. Victory!

I rounded the corner to look down at the sofa and make sure Wy Wy was still snoozing peacefully, and took a second to focus my eyes.
Grant, Grant was on the sofa?!?
Yes, that's your middle son.
How did he get there?
I'm sure he walked. As Griffin would say, "DUH!"
When did he get there?!
It would have had to have been while you were gone. Again, a big Griffin, "DUH!!"
Okay, well, where's Wy Wy???!

It took me a second, but my heart eased when I saw Wy Wy tucked partially under the back cushion of the couch, sandwiched between this fluffy border and the monstrosity we call Grant. Sleeping soundly, from what I could see, even with a giant toddler squishing him into the depths of the couch.

And, I thought to myself, Wow, how beautiful! Grant loves his brother! He came out here, obviously looking for me, found not me, but his baby brother, and decided to lay down with him and steadfastly wait for the return of MaaaaaMaa!! Then, I thought, So I wonder how long Grant was lying on top of Wy Wy before he started screaming his limb-losing scream?! But, no, really, I think Grant must have just gingerly gotten up onto the couch, easing himself near his sweet baby Wy Wy, and lay there feeling proud of his role as big brother.

Yes, this scene was truly a sweet, smile-invoking sight. Especially appreciated by a sleep-deprived, memory-losing, over-loaded Mommy. These moments in my life are what make it all worth it!

Opening Your Heart to People “Unlike” You

2008-07-21T13:42:00.002-05:00

I wrote this next post for our company's Christian Newsletter. A friend of mine is in charge of putting it together and said to me this morning that no one had responded to him with articles for it. So, I told him I would write something for him if he wanted, but I wasn't sure if he would think it was good enough or pertinent enough to work-life to put it in. I'll let you know what he says. But, in the meantime, I thought I'd share with you what I wrote.

Opening Your Heart to People "Unlike" You
And, by saying, unlike, I don’t mean a different color or sex or socio-economic background. Though, those all could be true, but whom I am speaking of, are the ‘non-joiners’.

Non-joiners are people like you and I. People who are mothers and fathers, dedicated workers, and good “keep their yards mowed” neighbors, who are most likely, non-weekly church-goers, probably un-involved community participants, and just generally, good at being non-joiners!

Non-joiners are seeking guidance, but keep getting the same answers from the same sources, and are wondering who else they can to turn to? They usually feel they’re doing what is meant for them by keeping their nose to the grind-stone, being kind to others, letting life happenings dictate their moves, and, most uniformly, living without purpose. I can say this. I was one of them!

Life was a series of have-to’s, and doing what was expected of me, and, for sure, doing what people would perceive as good deeds, ie, “I’m a good person”. But, fulfillment was not there. True happiness was a thing of fairy tales. Doing what God had intended for me, was what I was doing, right?!? This kind of “living” was my purpose, right?!? Then why did I have a great big hole in my heart?

Well, here’s my story. Here’s how the people around me brought me back to God, and back to being a disciple of his word.

Our neighbors had lived on our block for longer than we had. They were people we saw when we moved in, and people we’d occasionally throw a wave to when passing on the street. But, we definitely did not know them or anything about them.

Within the first year of our moving in, I could see that they had just had a baby, baby balloons were tied to their mailbox. But, even though I knew it would be nice to knock on their door and present them with a casserole, I never did. I never went to wish them well, holding the casserole saying, “I know how hard having kids is, let me do this little bit that I can for you.”

No, that would have been the right thing, but I didn’t know them, I only lived on the same street. Good deeds were done for people you knew. Instead, I felt it was definitely best to just wish them well from a distance. Because what if they wanted more from me by putting myself out-there like that! No, they didn’t bring us a casserole when we moved-in so no one would expect for me to do anything for them! Good one less thing to worry about.

Well, it was three years later before we even started uttering words to each other. Three years later before we even stopped and spoke to each other when passing on the street. Three years later and so many missed opportunities, later, before we ever got to know each other. And, even then, it was no deep relationship it was more of an awkward, “Oh, Kyle looks so cute in that outfit.” And, “How old was Griffin when you took his training wheels off?” But, the relationship was building and these did seem like nice people.

On Sundays, I’d see them leave, obviously they were going to church, and I’d wonder, “Hmm, where do they go to church?”

One day, more than a year later, I got up the courage to ask the neighbor’s daughter where they went to church. She told me, and I thought, “Funny. That’s the church that Dan said he’d like for us to try going to sometime.” But, me, I was too set in my thinking and the way I grew up, to go too far outside of my religion. Though, I had to admit, these were good folks who seemed to live by the same principles and codes that we lived by. Which got me thinking, was I happy with any of the church visits we had made so far? No, I wasn't. I hadn’t felt comfortable enough anywhere, to feel like joining the congregation. Of course, this could also be attributed to the fact that I was a Non-Joiner. Nowhere felt like somewhere I should join! That would be going against who I was, ever the non-joiner! But, this day was different and I guess I was getting tired of this non-joining stuff.

I heard myself saying to her, “Hey, we’d like to go to that church sometime. Could we maybe go with you all some Sunday?” And, she said, “Oh, sure! Yeah, I’m just sure my Mom and Dad would be happy to have you all come with us!” And, so, my fate was sealed.

I’m not sure if it was that day, or if it was the next or when exactly. But, my neighbor lady came down to our house, and said, “Hey, I hear you may want to come to church with us some Sunday?” Now, I was hooked into going. I was definitely apprehensive, this was going way outside my comfort-zone, and being the non-joiner I had been all of my adult life, this was big, huge, for me! I was scared.

I said, “Yeah, we would. I’m not sure what we have going on. I’ll have to check with Dan (this was my way of prolonging the joining), but I will let you know.”

Now, the rest of how this all occurred, is sort of a blur to me. We went with them one Sunday. We enjoyed it. There was a Live BIG (Believing In God) class for Griffin, and a Nursery with paid, background-checked workers for Grant, this is a great relief to a parent who doesn’t like leaving her kids with people she doesn’t know, and we found we really liked the pastor and the congregation. For weeks, our neighbors would ask us if we wanted to go to Sunday School with them after Service, but we declined every time. I’m sure it was me more than Dan who shied away from going, I was the non-joiner, you know. But, one Sunday, months after we first visited, I said to Dan, “Maybe we should stay for Sunday School?” I was getting better at this joining stuff!! And, he agreed. So, we went along.

There we found a group of people much like us. People who were striving to be better individuals. People who too, were trying to find a better way to balance family, work, life, community service, etc. and all of a sudden, this Non-Joining Mom, was feeling apart of something. Something bigger than her, something bigger than the Sunday School class, something bigger than the whole church congregation. I was feeling apart of the world God had set in front of me. The world that lives outside my door that was waiting for me to come out and LIVE in it! Things started really changing for me from then on.

There was this financial class that my husband and I decided to sign up for. He had been trying to get me involved in our finances for years, but my excuse had always been, “You want me to add one more thing to my already heavily loaded plate!?!?!” But, now, things were different. I felt apart of something greater. Something was telling me that this class was going to be the mortar and bricks we needed to start re-building the collapsed bridge my husband and I were living with in our marriage. He on one side believing things should be done in this manner, and, I, on the other, believing it was his load to bear, “Just tell me what I should spend and I’ll do that. I don’t want to be involved in any of the rest.”

Well, joining that class completely changed my view-point. Dan and I are now joined together in a financial plan, and the bridge has not only been made whole again, but the distance between the two ends is much, much closer.

One of the other by-products of that class was my renewed love of learning. The leader of the class teaches that educating yourself in your adult life, is just as important now, as it was when you were a growing adolescent. He believes that God wishes for us to live free of debt that binds us to living some one else’s existence, and to live in a state of constant curiosity. Growing daily by reading and watching and realizing that the world is ENORMOUS and we are but tiny participants in it. So, in order to have the sort of impact we wish, we need to remember that working in our strengths, striving towards excellence in everything we do, and being constant pupils of the world we live in is a huge part of what being a disciple of God means.

And, you know what these principles have taught me? That in order to be the person I want to be, that God intends for me to be, I have to learn that Join isn’t a four-letter word well it is, but you know what I mean. It’s a way to a life of wealth, far beyond earthly riches and far beyond social status. The wealth I am building by joining is a soul satisfying wealth that no person could ever fulfill for me. I have to go out and seek it and strive for it and find more opportunities to build it because being wealthy in soul feels fantastic! I’m living the life God intended! And it all started with a tepid question asked to a little girl, a warm-inviting welcome to join, and a long over-due step outside my comfort zone.

So, life has really turned around for me. If you know me at all, and felt I was happy before, I encourage you to meet me now, and see just how much I have grown!
This year, Dan and I will be working diligently towards being debt-free. We will be leading the financial class we took, at our own church. I have committed, every other month, to lead the Live BIG class for the 4-6 year olds. And, as a couple, we are working so hard at putting each others feelings and wishes at the tip top of our priority list. Marriage, for those of us who are, is the foundation for the rest of our lives. I believe that without a strong relationship we are just two people on a wandering boat bailing water every time life pops another hole in our vessel. So, spending time together, listening, sharing, and working towards satisfying each other’s needs is the only way of making sure we stay on course in a boat that is solid through and through. And, lastly, this year we are looking so forward to becoming ever-more involved in our congregation and community.

This transformation all started with a neighborly invite to a church with people I sort of knew, but liked, no matter how unlike their religion was to the one I grew up with. And, with an open-heart and mind, realizing that joining was the key to the life of fulfillment I’d been praying for.

I pray this story has affected you enough to search within yourself to either join in something you have been putting off because of your own notion that you won’t “fit in”, or that it inspires you to bring someone “unlike” yourself a casserole or a warm wish or an invite to something you’re involved in. These communities we live in: work, home, church, can never grow rich in God’s light, if we do not extend it to the one’s we inhabit them with.

If You're Reading This, I Know You Like ME!

2008-07-08T12:05:00.001-05:00

So, Independence Day has come and gone. Was it good for you? Did you see a spectacular display of Fireworks?? Was a good time had by all?

Well, ours was a pretty gosh-darn good time! I'll have to admit. In fact, the 4th of July might be my favorite of all holidays! It's probably because I've determined that parties at "our house" rock! It's true, I promise, they do!

When I was younger, the 4th of July was the predetermined "our house" holiday. It was the one time a year that everyone knew to congregate at "our house" for food, laughs, family, food, friends, drinks, food, laughs, more drinks, food, you get the picture.

It was the one holiday a year I looked forward to more than any other! All of the family came to "our house." We didn't have to go anywhere, and thus, didn't have to trek back from anywhere. Which, when living on a farm in Nowhere's-ville, IA could take an eternity. Er, well, at least it seemed like an eternity to me, a non-driving youngster! Are we HOME yet?!? So, it was always too exciting to have everyone come to "our house" for a celebration! It just gave me a great sense of pride to have people over because everyone always had a great time at "our house"! And, I know this can be attributed to my Mom and Step-Dad's great entertaining skills (and alcohol, but mostly, their entertaining skills).

Now, as an adult, it was my turn to have the party at "our house". And the "our house" parties, are pretty big shoes to fill, too, because "our house" parties were always talked about for months and even years afterwards! But, I was up for the challenge!

First up, food. Dan smoked two turkeys and I baked one, Caribbean Jerk Style, I know, just call me Martha! The rest of the buffet was provided by the guests. And some wonderful cooks were among us!!!
Next up, guest list. Since all of our family lives hours away we could only invite our friends and neighbors. Which was a bit sad for me, being that the 4th was always a gathering of family. But, our friends and neighbors have really become our pseudo-family, complete with dysfunction and all! Ahh, just like family! They're great!
Lastly, let's talk drinks. Our friend Mark, in his infinite wisdom, contributed blended drinks for all partaking. Yeah, Mark kicked the party up a notch! And, thank you Mark for that! All that was missing was the tiny umbrella, and the white beach sand, well, and the weather. I hear the Bahamas is more of an arid sort of climate and not air so thick with humidity you have to wear a snorkel to breathe in it! But, hey, we can only control so much (I know, it bugs the heck out of me too! Power, Control, give me more, more, more!)And, so, the guests galore gathered at "our house" for the fun-festival, and no one left disappointed! We definitely succeeded in meeting the "our house" party standards! Oh Mom would be so proud!

But, before the festivities could begin, we had to start getting things prepared. That's when I let Griffin in on the day's itinerary. When he heard people were coming over, his face lit-up like a Roman Candle! Like myself all those years ago, he was sooo excited that people were coming to "our house" for a party.

Griffin: "Oh Mom, everyone's coming to OUR house?!?! Whoa. That's so cool! Matthew and I are going to play knights and we're going to watch movies, and oh, man, when is everyone coming? When are the people coming to OUR house?!"

Me: "This afternoon, Honey. Everyone's coming this afternoon. That's not too far from now. And it will be fun! There'll be a bunch of kids here for you to play with, Matthew and Alex, too. And, listen Griffin, I need you to be good and nice to everyone just like I know you can. All the kids are going to want to play with your stuff and you're going to have to share, okay?!"

Griffin: "Oh, I will Mom. I will. They're all going to want to play with my cool stuff, and I'll make sure I share with them. When are they coming? Oh, I'm sooooo EXCITED!"

And, you know, I remember feeling that same way when we were having the 4th of July party at "our house" every year, too. I just could not wait til everyone got there! I could not wait to show them all of my stuff (which I am sure did not thrill my cousins, then, nor did it thrill Griffin's buddies, now.) But, there's just something so grand about having people over to your house when you're a kid! I mean, I really like it now, but I could barely contain my excitement when I was a kid!

I think it's the notion that if people are coming to your house, then that means people like you! They want to be with YOU! Ego swelling, I love this feeling! People like me! They really do!!!

I'm sure this is why, as an adult, I love to entertain and cook. It's just another way of getting a boost of self esteem. When people come over to a social event at your house that means they like you, thus you have friends and thus, you are not a total social misfit!

And you know what, I think that's a running theme throughout my life. I have always wanted to be liked. I've always coveted people remarking that I was cool or funny or pretty or not a total social pariah! And, of course, who wouldn't appreciate those sorts of comments?! Who, really, doesn't want to be liked?!

My husband is always saying stuff like, "You know I don't care what people think." But, is that really true? Doesn't he? Doesn't he care if people want to hang out with him? Doesn't he care if people think he's cool? Doesn't it make him feel great when people are excited at the idea of coming over to his house to hang because they know they'll have a good time?

I think he does. I think we all do. Whether we say it out loud or not, we all want to be liked! It's innate. From the beginning of time we've lived this way. With this hope that people will like us. We seek approval from our peers, and hope to God we'll be accepted!

I know this has always been something I've worried about for my own children. I feel sorry for children who's parents name them what I deem as weird, or crazy names. I wonder, "Why? Why make life harder for them? Don't you know how hard it will be to make friends and have a girlfriend?" Never do I think, "Oh that's just hard to pronounce, but a good name" or "That's admirable, naming your child something that means something to you." Nope, I think, "Man, that kid will be teased! How horrible to do something to your child that will set them apart from the beginning! Wouldn't it have been better for your child if you had just named him something that was more 'normal'?"

But, I guess my wish for normalcy and acceptance of my children is just my need for approval shining through. But, it's part of who I am. It's why I like having get-togethers. People come, they have a good time, and they enjoy the company....ME! It's why I cook a lot. People like my cooking, they give me great kudos for it! They ask for the recipe...MY recipe! And it's why I continue to write this Blog! People say that they like my writing. They like what I have to say, ie, they like ME! Oh yay! More accolades! I know, just gluttonous, aren't I?!?

But, this does not shame me. I'll have to say. It does not shame me to do things knowing, or thinking at least, that people will give me positive feedback for it. I like getting positive feedback! I admit it!

Here's something to think about. Merriam-Webster defines a compliment as an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration, and please, you cannot tell me that doesn't sound swell to you, too?!?

So, here's what I'm leaving you with. Doing things you know you are good at, sharing them with others, and doing them with the underlying hope that they will give you compliments for what you have done, is not a bad thing. Because in throwing your gifts out there upon the world, you are giving people reasons to admire and respect the world around them. You're helping them gain a positive feeling about the world they live and work in. You're saying to the world, "Hey, I'm good at this, don't you think so?!" And, really, what's so bad about that?

Toy Town No More!

2008-07-01T08:14:00.004-05:00

The toys are gone. Well, most of them anyway. I went through the boys’ toys this weekend, and pared down to a mere fraction of what they used to have!

Griffin now has only his dress-up trunk, his back-pack with action figures, his small bin of hot wheels cars, and a couple of larger toys. He still has all of his movies, and all of his games, but the rest is gone! I actually cleaned out so much, that a whole toy storage rack is empty and ready to be sold, sold, sold!!!

Grant has only his Little People guys (nicely stored in a clear plastic container), a music playing thing (that he loves), and his puzzles.

Wyatt’s got some hand-me-down toys. A this and a that. Nothing earth-shattering’ly cool, but, you know what, he doesn’t know that!

And it’s true what the people on those clean-up your house shows say, “Once the clutter is gone, you’ll feel a sense of freedom.” Oh, yes, how true it is!

In fact, I like the way my house is so much that I am writing this post to ask you all to do this for me, “Never buy my kids another toy ever again!”

I can’t handle the stress that comes along with the toys, especially if it has pieces. “Mom!!!! Do you know where the helmet is to this guy? I just had it and then Grant came into the room and messed everything up, and now I can’t find it! Help me find it!”

Yeah, I’m looking to eliminate or, at least, phase-out that sort of stop everything you’re doing and help me find this very important, I mean-highly, extremely important helmet! Yeah, if that all went away, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings one bit!

Of course, I’ll still have to search high and low to help find some things, but, with the toy population down to a scant few, I think I’ve cut the search time by at least half, and the possibility of having to search, by at least a significant 30% or so.

Oh, bliss, peace, lungs that can breathe deeply! Oh, feeling of elation, please do not ever go away! I love this new outlook on time spent playing in the house on rainy days! It’s no longer a reason to spiral into depression. No, now, that the toys are fewer I may even ASK the boys to play inside! What a change!

So, I’m letting it be known, that if you buy my kids toys I have every right to put your phone number on every “I’d like more information” form I can find, and I’ll send every soliciting Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, and Door-to Door Vacuum Salesman your way. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll have a port-a-john sent to your house, one that's just been removed from a three-day concert venue! So, do it, I dare you, and let the games begin!!!

Picture Pages 2

2008-06-27T11:47:00.009-05:00

Grant likes anything he can ride-on, sit-on, or push, just as long as it GOES!

He is a pretty baby, huh?!

Dan's Holding Wyatt, and telling me I should be doing something with Grant, "Uh, I am. I'm taking his picture!!

Grant says, "Giiiieeeeezzzz!!" Instead of "Cheese", and yes, that is the remote!

Wy Wy, as we've come to call him, just loves playing in his bouncer.
What a dolly, huh?!

I call this one, "And The Love Affair Begins" Oh, and just look at those cheeks!

I'm looking at something Ma Ma

Isn't Griffin Handsome? A little girl (who had to be at least 8) was flirting with Griffin while we were at the park. Oh, I was not happy about that!!

This is my adopted daughter, Kendyl. Well, not really. But, if she was available for adoption I would snatch her right up! She's the sweetest little girl on Earth!

Kendyl loves the boys, especially, Wy Wy! She just takes such good care of him! Makes being a Mom to three much more doable when you have such great help!
I love that little girl!

Isn't this sweet. I think Griffin secretly has a crush on Kendyl. I'm watching him like a fox! He asked me the other day if I could take him on a date. I said, "Oh, you want Mommie to take you out, just the two of us?"
He said, "No, not with you, with somebody like, Kendyl?!"
*sigh* I'm already chopped liver, and he's only 5!

I've named this one "Baby Mug Shot" and this better be the only time he takes one!!

My kids doing their best Elton John impressions. Pretty good boys!

The American Way???

2008-06-25T16:08:00.003-05:00

I gotta get something out... this life is not yours for the indebting. Okay?!? Do you think God wants you to have lots of stuff, but no retirement? Do you think that He wants you to try and make people happy through things? This doesn’t work. I know.

A friend told me yesterday that in “today’s society, it’s impossible to live without debt.” What a thought provoking statement with such childish undertones. Don’t you mean it is impossible for you to take responsibility for wanting things that have made you incur debt?! Well, maybe you’re thinking that you can relate to what this person said. Maybe you, too, think it is “impossible to live without debt”. But, I beg to differ.

I think I have made choices in my life that made it so I incurred debt. But, guess what?! I was the one making the choices and deciding to spend the money! Me! Debt didn’t just come knocking at my door, and say, “Surprise! I’m here! Let me in you HAVE to!” No, I opened the door willingly, and escorted him in feeding him along the way, “Are you hungry? You look famished! Let me get you a car payment! I’m sure you like those. Not to worry, in a few years, we’ll get you another one! Now what about a Credit Card? Do you like those? Oh, those are your favorites?!?! Well, we’ll have to get you a couple of those, too! You know, I’m not sure we’re feeding you enough?!?! You see the neighbor’s Debt next door is much bigger! Well, we can’t have you looking like we don’t feed you! Tomorrow we’ll go out and get something else on credit. Then, maybe, you’ll be a reputable size!”

This sounds ridiculous, huh?! But, how true it is! Gotta make sure we have more than other people or, at least, just as much! I mean how would it look if we drove USED PAID-FOR CARS?! And, bought items for the children at duhn-duhn-duhn-daaah…Yard Sales! Oh, how dreadful! Don’t you know what you are doing to them?! How shameful!!

Please, please, please agree with me here, folks. Tell me that this world is not made up of people who are so completely consumed by the THINGS in life, that they’ve forgotten what life is truly about! What happened to spending time playing board games with your kids, instead of watching them play video games? What happened to finding good, used toys at thrift stores for your kids to play with, and not running out to buy this year’s hottest, does anyone remember, TMX Elmo?!?

I am not an old person, although with three kids 5 and under I do often feel this way, but it seems my way of thinking is a thing of the past. Gone are the ghost stories told around the campfire on your family’s ONE summer vacation and on to the stress-filled sprints through the airports to get on the plane to some over-commercialized, WAY over-priced vacation destination, which may not even be the only vacation you take this year. That might just be ONE of your planned family vacations! And if I had to guess, I’d say most of these are being financed by Mr. Visa and Mrs. MasterCard.

And what if, I know, it’s shameful to even think of this, but what if you didn’t even go on a vacation?!??! Oh, the horror! Obviously those parents must be poor just extremely poor or cruel, just unspeakably cruel!

And, too, I gotta go here, Teachers, upon returning from the summer break do not ask your students to write an essay telling the class what they did this summer. Which truly means “What did you do on your summer vacation?”
What sort of magical experiences is a child supposed to relay when they did not go on vacation? For me, some summers were vacation-less. They were like any other part of the year spent with my family. And there was nothing wrong with that! But how would this essay sound to a group of your 8 year old peers?
“On my summer break I played in the water hose a lot. And, I spent a couple off weekends at my cousin’s house for sleep-overs.
The rest of the summer, I helped my Mom with chores, listened to records on my record player, read books, watched shows on one of the four channel choices on our one TV, and constantly fought with my brothers.”

Totally un-cool, huh?! No, the teacher and my fellow classmates expected excitement! Thrill them with your tales of Disney World. Make them envy you with your stories of airplane rides! Tell them how much money your parents spent in an effort to “make you happy” with stuff. Do not tell the truth! That’s a cool death sentence! And to top it off, if I were to be totally truthful my essay would have ended with, “and I’ve been secretly counting down the days til school would be back in session. I love school! It means I get to play with my friends, participate in kid-centered activities, and learn! I love Learning!”

See what I mean. These sorts of assignments that were meant to be just a jovial way of everyone letting the class know what they did, can be emotionally scarring! I certainly could not tell kids that I WANTED to be back at school, and we did not go on vacation! What kind of loser would I be marked as?!? And, it wasn’t that I was ashamed of my summer exploits (or lack thereof). But, asking me to tell everyone in the class what I did over the summer break made me think, “I’m never gonna let my kid feel this way. No, he will have TOO much to say about the action-packed vacations he has been on! Whatever it takes, I will make sure he is happy!!”

But, you see, I've learned stuff doesn’t make them happy. Vacations don’t make kids happy. I wasn’t unhappy about not going on vacation. I was fine with it. What made me anxious about the assignment, was having to tell everyone what I did, in front of the class! Now, everyone gets to scrutinize whether that was cool or not! The worst thing you can be as a kid is totally un-cool! And, it wasn’t my parents’ fault for not taking us on vacation (those lost vacations paid for lots of other things many of my counterparts would never experience, like money for college, a paid-for wedding, a down payment on a house, etc). The anxiety was induced by the Teacher who thought having kids share their summer excursions, was a good way to kick off the school year!

The Teacher’s intention was good, but the results were damning. I couldn’t lie and make up vacations we didn’t take. So I had to do something else. What I’d do was recall something funny that occurred over the summer (not hard to do when you consider the players are a whole family of screw-balls), and then elaborate on that. But, I was lucky, elaborating was something I was good at. And making people laugh with tales of my whacky family would make them forget that I didn’t mention a vacation, thus, bypassing my banishment to “un-cools-ville!”

Teachers need to learn that having a summer filled with stuff and trips does not make a kid happy or sad, cool or un-cool. But, it can make them over-stimulated, spoiled, and busy. And, it quite possibly, puts their parents in debt or for most, at least adds to it.

So, why is it that this society, this gloriously-advanced society, has forgotten about the simple things in life? My afore-mentioned friend seems to have forgotten about summer afternoons spent pushing your child on the swing. Muggy, late afternoon walks where whole insect worlds are discovered. Dusk to night evenings spent gazing at the clouds and identifying the stars. And why does he think it is better to buy his kids what they “want”? Instead of giving them what they need, him!

I can’t chastise too harshly here, because as stated above, I am a reformed spender. But, let me tell you, the most gratifying feeling you will ever have in your life is when you realize what life is about, and what it isn’t, and then start living life the right way! What a thought?!!?! Living what is right. Being a person your child can remember as always doing what they say and saying what they do! Do what you know to be right?!?! A preposterous idea, I know, but gratifying beyond belief!

Just a Little Patience

2008-06-23T15:23:00.014-05:00

Sometimes I feel like telling the freight carrier who is delivering my highly important Internet bought items, that the reason I need this package NOW is because it is a medical emergency! A child medical emergency! That would produce results, wouldn't it?!? And, it's not really lying to say Child-Medical-and Emergency all in the same sentence if you look at the situation from my vantage point. You see, if I do not get this shipment soon the anticipation could, feasibly, cause me to self implode! I'm not kidding! I'm on the implosion end of this, and I know what I am feeling! And, if I did implode who would care for the children?!? Now, you see what I'm sayin'? Dan's a good man, but three kids?! Come on! Their lives are seriously at stake here!!

It's true. I have a problem! I just get so anxious!!

So, what you now know is that I am a bit lacking in the patience department! Or maybe, I am without a patience department all together. That could be true, too. And I'll tell ya, this is a really hard thing to overcome! If you ever want to put me into an unbridled panic, keep me waiting! This is when you will see that my head CAN really spin around on my neck. And my eyes CAN really pop out of my head! It's true, ask Dan, he's seen me do things while waiting, that have previously only been seen by priests during exorcisms!!

Priests. I bet they have patience. Just seems like something God would make a pre-requisite in becoming one! Anyone care to disagree?

Anyway, I grew-up Catholic. I'm not sure if it is because of this up-bringing or because I am just always seeking guidance, but I pray a lot. And something I am always praying God will grant me is patience! When I'm waiting on Griffin to finish pooping because I have three-thousand other things I need to do with my day and sitting in the bathroom with him because he just needs to tell me 'one more thing', is not really helping the dishes get done!! And when I'm picking up the 4-millionth food item thrown from Grant's high-chair tray and saying "No Grant. We do not throw food." I'm asking God for the patience it takes to be okay with food-stained walls and floors. This too shall pass, right?!?! Right?!?! I am right, God, aren't I?!? Oh please God tell me that some day he will find eating food more enjoyable than throwing it!

And believe me, I realize that these moments should be seen as precious memories that I should be able to look back on and think fondly of, or laugh about. But, when you have 3 kids, a husband, a full-time job, a house to take care of, etc, etc, sometimes the precious memory-making-moments, are more like plots against me. "You're trying to sabotage my plans, aren't you?!? You like seeing my head-spin! I know it can be comical, but really, it hurts and I can't see straight for hours afterwards! Please, just work with me here!!"

Patience is a terrible affliction to have to overcome. There should be a foundation for people like me, The Foundation for the Impatient and Angst-Ridden. Though, not one of us afflicted could be counted on to start the foundation b/c we are all too busy with other commitments and too impatient to have to write by-laws, set-up fundraisers, and, ugh, we just don't have the patience! I want the help, but, man, I'm going to need to drink if this is going to take time! Drinking makes me a much more relaxed person. And maybe this is the case for other people with patience problems. So, that correlation being made I have re-named our foundation The Foundation for the Impatient and Angst-Ridden Alcoholics!

But, being that I am impatient, I'm the perfect time-manager. Who better to put in charge of things getting done, than someone who can't stand to wait, right?!? I'm the one who is bothered greatly when things are not accomplished in the time allotted! So, you should let ME be in charge. Things will happen, chop -chop!

I think this is what Dan both loves and hates about my lack of patience. I get stuff done. That's a big plus. But, I'm like a time-nazi. What are you doing? Sitting down?! Why? Do you need something to do? I've got plenty that needs to be done.
At which point, inevitably, he will remind me that I don't get to run his time schedule, the kids' maybe, but not his. Geez! THAT"S NOT FAIR! I need you to back-up my time schedule! To feel the angst I feel when time is slipping away! Do what's right, honey, feed my obsession!!!

Griffin likes to play with my impatience problem, too.
Here's an example, it's 10 minutes til church starts, it takes only 5 minutes to drive there, just two minutes to get everyone into the car, and 3 minutes to walk everyone into their classes, and get ourselves into the service. So, we're good. We're on schedule. Now, Griffin, all he needs to do, is get himself out to the car.

"Mom, we cannot leave for church until I find my Transformer shoes b/c I am not wearing these dumb tie-up shoes. The laces always come un-tied and they hurt my feet and you always make me wear these dumb shoes and I'm not wearing 'em. I need to find my Transformer shoes they make me run fast and they don't have ties and oh, I need to bring my Spiderman with me b/c my friends don't have one of these and they're going to think this is cool and Spiderman you know what he can do, he shoots webs like this, spieeewww, spieeewww. And he swings from buildings, and you know Mom on my Spiderman movie, Doc Oc he's a bad guy. He tries to kill Spiderman. He's a bad guy. And Spiderman has a girlfriend and he kisses her. I saw him Mom! You don't like me to watch kissing and I saw 'em! Ha ha! He kisses her!!! Have you found my Transformer shoes yet, Mom?!"

Oh, the marrow in my bones is aching! I'm being pushed to the edge!

Why do I cling so fervently to the idea that order can come into my house of chaos? It's apparent my children have issues of their own. Like finding favorite Transformer shoes and determining which looks better splattered against the kitchen floor: Spaghetti or Ketchup-soaked Scrambled Eggs?

I think it's a problem to have to wait, and they wish I didn't have that problem!

So, what can you do? Live a life of frustration because your patience is always at the breaking point? Or learn to laugh at the fact that you have no patience and of course it would be at its breaking point, the beginning and end are at the same damn point!

The lesson here is, embrace your character flaws. They can be funny! I promise you, it's easier to laugh at your incompetencies then to live a life frustrated because no one understands!!!

Walking is Rough!

2008-06-16T10:39:00.007-05:00

This weekend, the kids and I went to the Memphis Area Arthritis Walk.

My company was participating, and well, I figured 3 kids, hot sun, mile-plus walk, should equal really good naps for the boys!

Note to self: Never try to think things through, it always leaves you disappointed.

Turns out, I was the one who needed a nap afterwards! And, to all you people out there, quit slipping my kids speed, okay?! They're already more than I can handle!

P.S. Glad no one was taking pictures afterwards! I'd have to burn them all! The pictures, not the people taking them!! Thought clarification might be necessary, here :)

Okie-Dokie!

2008-06-13T16:41:00.007-05:00

Do you have fond memories of any stores you regularly visited when you were a kid? I was just reminded of a store I used to LOVE going to when I was a kid, b/c I replied to someone's email Okie Dokie!

Yes, the store I adored was named Okie-Dokie! And those stores were the best! (Or maybe it was Oky Doky, but, whatever, you get the idea) What the Okie Dokie actually was, was a convenience store and gas station. And as a child, as you can imagine, the convenience store part was the draw for me!

I loved going to the Okie Dokie, especially the one right next to my Aunt and Uncle's house. And when I say right next door to, I mean, right next door, literally. It was so close it was like walking to the mailbox! Maybe this is not that hard to believe for some of you, but from the perspective of a little girl who lived on a farm and my nearest neighbor was 2 miles away, this was like unbelievable! And my lucky, I was so jealous, cousins got to live a stone's throw from the Okie Dokie! Not Fair, totally not fair! Where they could run next door and ogle candy and sodas and peruse magazines after school, I was getting off the 45 minute bus ride, to walk down a 3/4 of a mile long lane and hopefully, please God, not encounter any stray cows hanging out on the gravel road.

Cows are completely frightening when you are little, okay?!?! Well, or maybe just completely frightening to me, being the wussy child I was. But, when it's just you and the gravel, and this 800 lb stinky, road blocker, lots of crazy ideas start running through your head. Like, oh, I don't know the vision of your mom driving down the road and finding the pancaked remains of her precious daughter under the cud-chewing heifer camped out in the middle of the lane! Yeah, that one went through my mind a lot. Thus, my serious fear of the cows!

But, my city dwelling cousins, now they never had to face such fears on a daily. No, they could hang at the Okie Dokie whenever they wanted, and to get home, just walk the 30 paces to their front door! Oh how I envied them!

When I was staying over at my Aunt and Uncle's with my cousins, I'd make sure to bring like 2 or 3 dollars from my piggy bank just so I'd have plenty of money to load-up on penny and nickle candy with. Yeah, candy was that cheap! And good candy, too! Hard to believe, eh?! Especially in today's economy!

Well, this Okie Dokie was a child's dream! Row upon row of brightly packaged, neatly stacked candy containers with every flavor and every possibility you could imagine.
My cousins and I would come out of there looking like Candy Junkies. It was sick! I mean there were probably years where I got less loot trick-or-treating than on my visits to the Okie Dokie!

But, too, that was how my times were just being at my cousin's house anyway! My Aunt and Uncle always had a freezer full of every child's favorites, pizza rolls, push-ups, individually frozen pizzas (the kind you didn't have to share with your pig-crossed-with-man brothers.) Basically, anything I had seen advertised on TV, and then incessantly begged my mom for while we were at the grocery store, they had in their fridge or freezer. Believe me, I would have been Jaba-the-Hut had my parents kept as many kid-convenience foods in our house.
Well, but then, maybe not, because, as I previously stated, I had brothers who were genetically crossed with pigs and would immediately eat every appetising morsel brought through the threshold of our house. I can't even count the number of times I uttered, "Are all the xyz's gone???? You pigs! I didn't even get one!" Oh to be the youngest and a girl! There was absolutely no possibility of me ever filling up on snacks in our house, not as long as I lived there with them!

But, the Okie Dokie, it was mine all mine. When I went to visit my cousins, who were all girls by the way, my brothers were usually not along, and so, it was just me and my dollars, and a whole world of junk-food options. Life was good!
Then, one night, my love of the Okie Dokie changed. On this night, I would see violence in it's most primal form, for the first time.

It was my brother Craig, myself, and my Mom and Step-dad, and we were gassing up so that we could get on the road back to nowhere's-ville, when this car pulled up to the pump on the other side of us. The guys in this car started yelling, cussing and threatening the guys in another car that was gassing up on the other side of them. Then, all of a sudden, one of the guys from the car that just pulled up, jumps out of the car and starts getting in the other driver's face. It was like watching in slow-motion. Your mind was going so fast, but there was no time to react.

Right after the guy got out of his car and started yelling at the driver, a guy from the passenger side of this car got out with a baseball bat and started coming after the yelling guy. When that guy saw him, he bowed-up like "that bat can't hurt me" then the other guy cracked him with it. And, I mean, hit him. It was the most horrible thing I had ever seen. Not because there was blood everywhere or anything like that. But, because this guy, knew in holding this bat, that he could do serious damage to this other guy and yet, he still hit him, and hard, too. With hate-filled eyes and rage pulsing through his veins, he hit him!
The guy who got hit kind of stumbled back, and tried to like come at the other guy, but then realized he'd be fighting a battle he would not win; so he retreated back to his car. The other guy hit the driver's side of his vehicle with the bat several times before the guy could drive off. But, once he did, it was over. Over in seconds this vicious attack with both parties fleeing as fast as they could so not to be there by the time the cops showed up.

It was scary I tell you! I was completely freaking out! Completely! Didn't they know this was the Okie Dokie where kids come to live out their candy-filled dreams? This is a sacred place. Take your violence somewhere else. Would you act this way if this were a church? Well, it was. It was my temple. I worshipped this Okie Dokie, and you just brought your hatred and rage into my sacred place! I was not only scared, but mad! Now I have something else to fear, great! Don't you know I'm already afraid of cows?!?!? In fact, my whole world is filled with fears! Now I can't even go to the one completely magical place on earth without fearing something bad could happen. Thanks a lot you dirty bastards!

So, as you can imagine, from this point on I walked tentatively to the Okie Dokie. Not with the joyful bounds that used to carry me there. No, now we would drive up to my Aunt and Uncle's house and I would make sure that neither of the cars I had seen there that night were, for some reason, back, just waiting to act out the violence again.

The memory of the Okie Dokie reminds me of something we all know. Kids are like sponges. Everything sticks with them. Everything.

Griffin wanted to roast marshmallows the other night. And so, I asked him, "Do you remember the first time you ever roasted marshmallows?" He said, "Yes. I was at my Grandma and Poppa's house and I held the stick like this and turned it and turned it and then blew on it to eat it."

It just amazed me that he remembered because that was over 2 years ago, and he remembers it like it was yesterday! And Grant, his memory is pretty spongy, too. Like how every morning he gets up and whines at the pantry door and points for you to open it, and then says "googie". And cries and cries if you start saying, "You want Goldfish?" Waaaaahhhh, "You want cereal?" Waaaaahhhh "Oh, you want a cookie?"
"Ha Ha, Googie, Googie!!!" And then runs off to sit at the table because he knows that's where he needs to be in order to get a cookie. And yes, I allow him to eat cookies in the morning, sometimes. Call DHS if you want. But, really, is it any worse than a bowl of Fruity Pebbles? Or any worse than a donut? Or should I say a frosted cake that, since it has a hole in it, we call breakfast!

You see, here's the thing, kids have these memories we older folks do crossword puzzles and play mind games to try and re-gain. So, let this be a lesson to us all. Everything you do your kids will remember. From the very best things you do for them to the very worst. They'll remember it. That's why we're all emotionally scarred adults. It's impossible NOT to be. Things happen. Life happens and some things you cannot control. But, what you can control is how you love your kids. Love them with all that you have because when scary cows and drunk, white trash try to disrupt your child's life, at least she will know that nothing can ever penetrate the Love Armor my Mom and Dad surround me with every day of my life.

Heart on His Sleeve

2008-06-06T14:22:00.003-05:00

Last night, I was reminded of how sensitive I used to be. No one had to say to me, "Remember how everything used to make you cry?" or anything like that. No, the memories came rushing back when Griffin and I had a bed-time conversation. It was then that I saw, first-hand, that my son is my sensitive heart made-over, and it brought tears to my eyes.

Griffin loves his Daddy. First and foremost, whatever Daddy is into, he wants to be a part of it. Now, don't get me wrong, he loves his Momma. But, Mom is good for hugs and kisses and words of encouragement. Dad is good for Man-Stuff, like repairing vehicles, mowin' the grass, fishin', you know things you get to do with tools or things that have moving parts. All things hypnotic to a young boy.

And, Daddy teaches Griffin good things like how to tie knots, and the proper way to hold a golf club, and how to trip without spilling your beer (well, he's not been taught that one yet, but you do learn by example, you know!)

Anyway, last night, Dan had to work late. He was actually helping his friend put in two new Air Conditioning units and wasn't going to get home until the wee hours of the morning.

So, I was getting the kids ready for bed. Wyatt was sound asleep in his crib. Grant had already been put to bed, but he continued to sneak out, sticking his fat little head around the corner, giggling, waiting for me to see him. Then, when we make eye-contact he squeals with delight running full-sprint into the living room letting you know he has escaped the dreaded N-word, Nigh-Nigh. That little one HATES going to bed!!! He just has to be where the action is, and obviously, his bed is not the place!

It was about the 28th time I had said, "go to bed Grant, you're tired, go to sleep." and had then begrudgingly forced myself out of the chair and chased the little guy back into his room. At that time, Griffin was just getting out of the shower.

Griffin: "Mom? Where's my towel?"
Me: "In there on the floor. Don't you see it?"
Griffin: "No, Mom. That's my Dad's towel."
Me: "No, Griffin. Not the one on the back of the door, the one on the floor."
Griffin: "Oh, got it."

Griffin comes into the living room all wet and hair sticking up in about half-a-dozen directions, "Mom. Where IS my Dad?"

Me: "Well, Griffin, he's still working."
Griffin looks at me all puzzled. You can tell he is wondering why is my Daddy still working? He's usually home by now.

Griffin: "Well, when is he going to be home?" At this point you can see the sadness creeping into his face. He's realized that he will not see his Daddy before he goes to sleep, and the thought of this, on this night, is just more than he can bear.

Me: "I'm not sure, honey. But, it will probably be late. You'll see him in the morning, though."

That sadness is now palpable between us and the air is thick with Griffin's gloom and worry. I know all too well the things he is thinking right now. I know all too well that feeling of things being out of balance and off-kilter enough that your mind wonders and worries relentlessly.... Where could he be? What could be happening? Is he alright? Has something happened to him? Will I ever get to see him again? To tell him that I love him and ask him will he wrestle with me, and ask him to carry me on his shoulders? If he were okay wouldn't I have heard from him by now?

Griffin: "Mom, I miss my Daddy!" and then, the fitful crying began. Heavy and hard sobs.

Me: "Griffin. I'm sorry baby. Daddy had to work late. He will be home tonight, but you will already be asleep. I know he will come in and kiss you goodnight, though. He always does."

Griffin: "But, Momma. I miss him. I never even got to give him a hug. I want Daddy to come home!" Now the crying isn't as heavy but louder and messier. Snot has now started to drip from his nose.

Me: "Baby, come here. I love you and Daddy loves you. Sometimes people just have to work late. But he will be home. I promise."

Pause, me listening to crying.

Me: "Do you want to call Daddy? And tell him goodnight?"

Griffin: "Yeah."

Phone in hand, I hit Hubby in my cell phone, and hand it to Griffin.

Griffin: "Hello, Daddy. I miss you! When are you coming home? I was worried about you."

Dan on the other end is saying things like, "Buddy, I miss you too." And, "Honey, I can't understand you, what are you saying? Calm down and talk to me." And, "I know. Daddy is working late, but I will be home tonight. I promise to kiss you goodnight when I get home. I love you."

Griffin hands me the phone.

Dan: "That was dirty."

Me: "No it wasn't. Your son just wanted to talk to you. He needed to know you were okay. Now he'll be fine. We love you. We'll see you in the morning."

Griffin hugged me tight after that call. I know talking to Dan feeling that even if he wasn't there with us, he was somewhere, and he was okay, was all he really needed. I know because he is me. I felt it when those brown eyes looked at me and asked where his Daddy was. I could see it in that face. That beautiful, innocent face that has never experienced loss, but who fears it still. Who has never known true pain, but worries that someday he will.

A sensitive soul who hurts when the children on TV don't have enough food to eat in their country and worries who will take care of them? And wonders why people would hurt other people on purpose, who could do that? And why do some people not have homes, can't they come live with us?

As I've aged, I've had to overcome my sensitivity. I've had to become less Utopian. It's horrible to know that evil lives out there in the world, and that you are anyone's sucker for just believing that what a person says is what a person will do. It's horrible to experience these realities. It's not fair that in going out into the world, it means we have to take off our rose-colored glasses. Why? Why does growing up mean we can no longer see the world with the eyes of a child?

I felt a great sense of loss seeing that tenderness in my son, and knowing that it is all but gone in myself.

Keep that sensitive soul, sweetheart. Don't let the world tell you you need to toughen-up. Worry about the welfare of others, son. Never stop caring. And know that it is always okay to cry, always. I hope no one ever tells you that boys don't cry because they do. And I love that about you little man. I love that your true and adoring love for people cannot be held back by any sort of foolish man-code. It's a silly made-up lie.

So, Griffin, go out into the world and feel it. Feel all of it. Hurt with others, feel joy and fear and worry. And don't let the world capitalize on your sensitivity. Know that it is your gift. Hold it dear, God gave it to you, don't lose it. One day you will do great things with that big heart of yours, baby. I just know it.

Perspectives

2008-06-03T13:26:00.000-05:00

I started a garden this year. It's my second attempt at one. A few years ago I tried to grow a small garden, but I was like 18 and a half months pregnant and it was the middle of the summer, and well, I just didn't waddle my butt out there to take care of it, and the plants died! I know, shocking, huh?!

This year, I went all out. I have a pretty large area that Dan so kindly tilled up for me (thank you honey, I know it was not something you wanted to do!) I am attempting to grow yellow squash, zucchini, acorn squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, pea pods, watermelon, and cantaloupe (which will probably not grow because I planted the seeds too deep! Finicky seeds like to be just an inch or so below the soil and I thought I should plant 'em 7 or 8 inches below the ground! Oops! Sorry cantaloupe, I'm new at this!)

What's funny about this, to me, about growing a garden, is that I used to HATE to work the garden with my mom and step-dad! I loved the veggies and fruit we would get from it, but detested having to pick and snap and wash and on and on. It was just so much WORK! That dreaded 4 letter word that all kids hate, WORK!

It's funny, though, I guess as you age you find that the things you thought you hated as a kid, can be really cool things as an adult.

Like, here's another one, we used to have to go out to the woods, as a family, and the boys and Jerry would chop a fallen tree up, and I would have to help load the wood into the truck. Again, WORK, I hated it! I just wanted to stay home and play records on my Fisher-Price record player, or play dress-up with my Barbies, anything, but WORK! It was hot and sweaty and boring!

But, now, I wish so much that Dan and I had acres of timber! We'd be out chopping and loading and having a picnic lunch! And my boys would be responsible for helping with it all. Now, to me, that sounds like fun!
Amazing how your perspective changes.

Perspectives have been on my mind a lot lately. Especially because everything we ask Griffin to do, is called WORK by him. And, Gosh, don't you know work is hard?!?!? Well, apparently, if I ask him to clean his room, that is work, and cleaning is hard, and "Mom, I'm not a good cleaner, it will take me forever. You clean it, you're a good cleaner!" Yeah, sweetheart, it's called practice and I've had a good 25 years or so!

Which brings up a conversation we had the other day,
Me: "Griffin, we need to come up with a list of chores for you. You want to earn money, and well, you should. So, Daddy and I are going to come up with a list of chores for you."

Griffin: "Okay, I like money. I need money to buy stuff, so give me some chores, Mom."

I told him Dan and I would talk about it and we'd sit him down soon and tell him what his chores will be and what we will pay him to do them.

So, then, yesterday, we get home and Griffin says
"Mom? Have you and Dad made my chores yet?"

Me: "No, we're still working on it."

Griffin: "Well, I know what they should be. I should have to get up in the morning, and fix my cereal, and eat it. And, I will just ride my bike and listen to you and take a bath."

Oh really, is that right?? You mean I get to pay you for existing! Great!! I think I already do that by putting a roof over your head and cereal in your bowl and a pillow under your head!

Me: "Well, honey, fixing your cereal is something you do for yourself, and it does help us, but I don't think it qualifies as a chore. And, riding your bike, listening to me, and taking a bath are just things you do. So, they're not chores, either."

Griffin: "Huuuuhhhhh? Chores are work, aren't they?"

Me: "Yes."

Griffin: "I don't want any chores, Mom. Chores are work and I DO NOT like WORK, it's hard."

Oh buddy, you have no idea!

So, that made me think about Griffin and his perspective. If Work equals Hard and Play equals Fun, then maybe I should start changing his perspective on fun?
So, I think I'll start making him dress in skirts to ride his bike, and wear a girl's swim suit to go swimming. What do you think? Cruel and Unusual? Or just a new way of changing your child's perspective??? Doing chores doesn't sound so bad if it means not having to go to the pool in a bikini, huh?!?!
****Note to self: Don't forget to take pictures!!

How Old is Too Old??

2008-05-27T14:33:00.000-05:00

So, a conversation occurred to me while I was folding clothes at an ungodly hour of the morning. A friend of mine and I were talking about money and budgets and what-not. And, if you know me, as of late, then you know that Dan and I are on this strict budget. We have strict parameters on what is spent and where it is spent, etc. And we dole out our money for the month at the beginning of the month and then every penny is budgeted. We're doing this in an effort to pay down debt more quickly, so that one of us can stay at home with our rug-rats, instead of both of us trying to spin the hamster wheel!

So, the conversation went something like this:
Me :"Yeah, I got some extra money, it wasn't in the budget, so I think I might spend it on underwear for myself."

Friend: "Oh yeah, underwear, huh? Are you going to get something good like Victoria's Secret or something?"

Me: "No. I don't have that much extra money, and I was thinking of getting more than a couple of pairs."

Friend: "Well, how many pairs do you need?"

Me: "Well, if it were up to my husband, I think he'd have me replace every single pair of underwear I own. He thinks they are all old and tired looking, and definitely not sexy."

Friend: "When was the last time you bought new underwear?"

Me: "Probably like three years ago or more."

Friend: "What?!?!? You haven't bought underwear in three or more years? Yuck! That's gross. You should replace underwear after like a year."

Me: "Really. You think it's gross to keep underwear for more than a year? I didn't know there was an expiration date on underwear. Is there?"

Friend: "Well, I mean, there's nothing that says you need to replace them after a year, but I always do."

Me: "Hmm. I guess I'm gross 'cuz I said I bought new underwear three years ago, but I probably have underwear in my drawer that are 10 years, or older. I didn't realize I was supposed to get rid of them. But, I won't be, b/c I said I had a few extra dollars, not enough to replace my whole underwear assortment."

Friend: "Well, I'd at least get started getting rid of some of your older pairs. That really is bad, Carrie."

Thought process: Is it really wrong to keep underwear for more than a year or two? I have to wonder. Is there some unwritten rule here? Am I going to have to budget into next month's funds "Panty Renewal"? Who wrote this rule, Victoria herself? She's really good at keeping these secrets, you know. Really good, 'cuz I'm 32 and I never heard of this 'til now. Should I be ashamed of my Muppets underwear? What about the flowered cotton ones? Those are my favorites, but they are, apparently 75 years old in underwear years. And, let's not even go down the road to bras-ville. I got some in there that are well beyond there expiration date. This could be a really expensive realization for me!

No wonder Dan thinks my underwear are tired and definitely, un-sexy! They are like reaching nursing home status! I should be taking them down to the Medicare office and seeing what sort of plan they need to be on. Social Security, my underwear should be drawing full benefits!

But, maybe she's right. Someone please enlighten me. Does anyone else have an opinion on underwear and it's life cycle? I just thought you wore 'em til their very fibers were worn out. I have to say, I know this thinking is shared by my step-father, because I have folded some seriously thin skivvies coming out of his laundry. But, no skid marks, so, still useful, still serving their purpose, butt-coverage still intact.

Though, you have to wonder, why is it that some folks have this mentality that things should be replaced after so many uses or years, and others do not follow the same thought process? I'd be willing to guess that if you are reading my Blog, then you are either a family member, or a close friend, and, therefore, you probably feel the same way I do about this issue, "If it still does the job, then no need for termination." But, what do you think? Could we be wrong? Should I be teaching my sons that after a year, maybe two, we have to say goodbye to the Power Rangers and hello to the Incredible Hulk?

This conversation struck me, of course, because I was folding underwear, Griffin's Bob the Builder. And I was thinking, "These might be getting a bit snug. Griffin has had these for a while. I should put them up. That way Grant can start wearing them when he starts potty training. Oh, but, then they would be hand-me-down underwear! Now, that is really bad, isn't it?! Handing down underwear from one child to the next! I wonder what my friend would say about that?" Well, sorry friend, my boy is going to wear used underwear, and he's going to be thrilled!